Lisa sighed. A question, she didn't expect Bobby to ask.
"Thankful ... grateful that God sent you to me. Even though I know our marriage is only a status. But I'm happy because you are so good to me." She spoke carefully but from her heart Lisa revealed it.
Yes, their marriage was just status. Lisa was absolutely right! Why didn't Bobby go a step further? Was it impossible for Lisa to love Bobby?
"Maybe you're right. And if our marriage is just status, then something is wrong." Bobby's eyes haven't left his gaze on Lisa.
"What do you mean Bob?" Lisa was still trying to understand what Bobby was thinking.
"Our marriage is not a joke. I told you once, I am your husband and fully responsible for you. So, our marriage should not just be status." Bobby was getting serious with his words.
"Sorry, if that's what you mean, you've already taken the for my life. You've done it." Lisa felt guilty because it seemed like she doubted Bobby as a good husband.
"But not completely right, Lis ..." Bobby grabbed both of Lisa's hands. He looked at Lisa intently. Lisa just looked down while Bobby was staring at her.
"Lisa, look up," Bobby said softly. Lisa slowly lifted her face and tried to look at Bobby. It was difficult, there was a sense of shame, her heart was beating wildly. Her face must be blossoming.
"You're beautiful." Bobby held Lisa's cheek. Lisa's cheeks were a little hot. Bobby knew she was very nervous. Bobby felt a strong pounding in his heart.
"Maybe we can start our relationship deeper, Lis," Bobby said. Lisa didn't answer, she did not know how to react.
Bobby slowly came closer to Lisa's face and kissed her forehead. There was a tremor running through Lisa's heart. It even felt up to her stomach. Bobby also felt something stir when he kissed Lisa's forehead.
"Lis, how do you feel about me?" Bobby looked back at Lisa.
"I ..." Lisa was surprised Bobby asked her that. She was not ready.
"Just say it. I'll be fine," Bobby said very gently.
"I ... I love you, Bob. Sorry, maybe you'll get mad ..."
Bobby covered Lisa's lips with his index finger. Bobby smiled. "How can I be angry, if my wife loves me?" Then Bobby touched Lisa's cheek again.
Lisa's heart seemed to be pounding. But she would be honest and tell Bobby the way she felt.
"You are my first man. And no one else will be. You're my last too. I'm so grateful for that. You're too kind, how could I not fall in love with you? With all you've done to, I can't deny, I love you, Bob. " Lisa's heart was more trembling saying the words.
"I love you too, Lis," Bobby said. Lisa touched Bobby's hand which was still on her cheek.
Was Bobby for real? Did he love Lisa?
"Yes, I love you. And I want to love you. Because you are my wife. Until the end of my life, I want to be with you. Stay by your side. Therefore, help me learn to love you."
Lisa's heart was broken to hear that. It was not because of sadness and pain, just disbelief, Bobby wanted to love him. Lisa's heart was pounding with joy, but she was so nervous.
"Bobby ..." she said quietly.
Bobby ventured closer to Lisa. He lifted her chin again and kissed her lips softly. Despite the fear and trembling, Lisa did not refuse. As for Bobby, Yuana's face briefly crossed his mind. He looked deeply at Lisa. He wanted to consciously see Lisa in front of him. And he realized he had to choose to love Lisa, his wife.
"Lis, I'm sleeping here tonight," Bobby said. Lisa nodded.
Bobby again grabbed Lisa's lips, hugging her tightly. Lisa replied shyly, but she allowed Bobby to do it, touching every part of her body. She was willing to be of Bobby's totally. She wanted them both to learn to love each other completely.
*****
The days went by. Yuana and Manfred had a hard time getting into the 6th semester. They were busy with their studies. Especially Manfred. He still had to be busy starting touring because his album was starting to be known to the public. In fact, he was more often to Jakarta and several other cities. How many times he entered class could be counted on his fingers every month. Sometimes also invited to fill the show on TV.
Yuana was often annoyed by herself. Because she had a hard time meeting Manfred. Even though they could communicate on cell phones, it couldn't be easy either. When she's texting, Manfred was on the plane, or on a stage. When Manfred called, Yuana was in college, or it was late, and Yuana was asleep.
In fact, Yuana was also surprised by herself. Every day she wanted to meet Manfred more and more. She missed Manfred teasing her, laughing out loud with her, or hearing her talk about anything. When Manfred was far away, to release her longing, she played Manfred's song, while crying.
Ttuuuttt ... Yuana's cellphone rang. Yuana received a call from Manfred.
"Hi, Fred ..." Her voice was a little hoarse.
"Yu, what's wrong?" Manfred was surprised that Yuana was not cheerful.
"Miss you ... when are you coming home?" asked Yuana.
"Next week. I am still in Medan. Tomorrow we're going to Palembang. The next trip is to Jakarta, then we can go home," replied Manfred.
"You lie to me. You said you will always be with me. You said you wanted to take care of me. But you always leave me alone." Yuana's spoiled began to emerge to the surface.
"Hey ... the spoil has relapsed. Yu, I really miss you too. I want to tease you until you sulk. But we already have a contract. So, it must be completed. How is your college?" Manfred replied casually so that Yuana would not become more mellow.
"As usual, busy. You even don't care about your college," said Yuana.
"I don't know. God knows what it's going to be like," said Manfred.
They both were silent.
"Yu, say something," Manfred spoke.
"It's okay, I am fine. I'm just wondering if my plan will work. I'm afraid something will happen. I'm not sure if I can handle it or not." Yuana sighed.
"Yu, what's wrong? Come on, tell me," Manfred urged.
"Don't want to." Yuana refused.
"Why don't you want to tell me?" Manfred replied quickly.
"I don't wanna bother you more. You still have a lot of work to do. I've grown up, I must be able to handle things in my life." Yuana was looking for an excuse so she didn't need to explain.
"Are you sure?" said Manfred.
"When you come home, I will tell you," said Yuana.
"Okay. I have to go. Take care. Don't forget, I love you." Manfred hung up the phone.
Yuana looked at her cell phone screen. Manfred's photo was there. Since returning from Bobby's house, Yuana had replaced the image on the cell phone screen with a photo of Manfred. She made sure that her heart began to choose the handsome boy with blue eyes and reddish-brown hair.
Actually, Yuana wanted to talk about her parents' problems. Lately, their relationship was getting worse. Even Yuana heard they talked about divorce. Yuana couldn't do anything. If it really happened, she didn't know where she was going. There was no way she was going with her mother. Evaline didn't love Yuana.
When Evaline was arguing with Prastama, the words that hurt Yuana's heart came from her mother. Yuana clearly heard them.
"I hate you. From the very beginning, we were married, I knew this was all a mistake!" Evaline, Yuana's mother, said to Pratama that afternoon. "Especially, to have children with you. I'm really sorry about it!! Somehow, I wonder myself, I can still stand living here with a man like you!!"
Yuana could only cry hearing that. Her mind screamed, "I never asked to be born, Mom. I never chose you to be my mother. If I could, of course, I would choose someone else, who wants to love me ...."
She couldn't even go with her father. Yuana knew that her father had a girlfriend, a young woman, who deserves to be Yuana's older sister than her father's girlfriend.