"Our parents died when Rin was still in high school. At the time, he didn't cry much, but I knew he was suffering. At the funeral he simply said a few words of parting, nothing more. He hoped that they were well and happy wherever they were, and that they would watch over him. Everyone was impressed with his mature and composed manners, but I knew there was a whole layer of grief hiding inside his heart."
"So that's what happened. I'm sorry to hear about that." I mumbled.
I felt heartache just from thinking about a young Kurosawa-san suffering in silence.
Meanwhile, Amami-chan shook her head slowly, letting out a deep sigh.
"We still had our grandparents. We moved in with them right after the funeral. Back then I was in my last year of college, while Rin was in his second year of high school. After I graduated, I found a job and moved out. Soon afterwards, I met Suzuki-kun and we got married. By that time I was already beginning to heal, but Rin didn't. After he graduated from high school, he wanted to get a job and refused to go to college. Both me and my grandparents fought long and hard to convince him."
Amami-chan stopped for a moment. She let out a long exhale, as though trying to let go of all the negative emotions that were weighing heavily on her heart.
"But why?" I took the chance to ask. "Kurosawa-san was smart, wasn't he? And I know he likes books, so why didn't he want to continue with his studies?"
"Can't you guess why?" Amami-chan replied with a question. She lifted her head and stared into my eyes without blinking.
That fixed gaze almost made me shiver. It was simply too intense. But, at the same time, I could feel my heart melting from everything I heard. The information Amami-chan just gave me offered a whole different perspective.
In light of this new knowledge, a sudden idea struck me.
"Don't tell me…" I gasped. "Don't tell me he didn't want to go to college because he didn't want to be a burden?"
I don't even know how I managed to guess this on my first try.
Perhaps what Amami-chan had just told me about Kurosawa-san's personality and history helped me flesh out a different image of him in my mind. It was like I could see into the heart of a Kurosawa-san that I didn't know before.
The always cheerful and smiling Kurosawa-san, together with the gloomy and evasive Kurosawa-san… in the end they were both the same person. They were two sides of the same coin.
After all, no one can be happy all the time, that's just simply not possible. I was stupid before to think that he didn't have his own sorrows and burdens.
"You're right, Keita-kun. Rin didn't want to be a burden to me, who was recently employed and newlywed. He didn't want to have his grandparents carry his weight either. Thus, leaving him with the single choice of dropping out."
"How did you manage to convince him to continue with school? Sometimes, Kurosawa-san seems like he can be very stubborn."
Hearing my correct assessment of the man, Amami-chan began to laugh wholeheartedly.
"Indeed, he can be. Nevertheless, I can be stubborn too, so I reasoned with him. I told him 'If money is an issue, then go and make some. No one said you have to live your college life without working'. It seemed that he hadn't even taken this option into consideration, because, once he thought about working and making his own way, talking to him became much easier."
"Stupid." I blurted out without thinking.
"Yes, I admit this brother of mine can be very stupid sometimes. I hope you'll forgive him for it." Amami-chan laughed.
Hearing her laugh and thinking about what I just said, I almost wanted to hit myself. What kind of person calls someone's brother stupid right to their face?!
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" I said, blushing from embarrassment.
"It's alright. Rin may be stupid, but he is also weak. He is always trying to do things by himself, not wanting to trouble anyone. That's actually one of the reasons why he learned how to cook. He hassled my grandmother until the poor woman finally agreed to teach him."
"He's actually very good at it. His delicious lunches really saved my life many times." I said hastily, in order to erase some of the previous embarrassment.
"Yes, I had the fortune of tasting some of the food he's made, though he never cooked for anyone before. He was surprisingly good at it." Amami-chan chuckled.
Then her expression changed, the warm smile being once again replaced with sadness.
"I guess it was good that he took the effort to learn. Because soon after he entered college, my grandmother passed away, and my grandfather followed soon after. Rin was left all alone in a big house, filled with familiar objects. I can't even begin to imagine how he must have felt. By that time, I was already living with Suzuki-kun, so I only visited the house once per week. After our grandparents died I tried to convince Rin to move in with us, but he refused, saying he didn't want to be in the way of us newlyweds."
"So that's why he got so many part-time jobs during his college years? So that he could support himself and the house?"
"Ah, he's told you about that?" Amami-chan asked, her eyebrows raising in surprise.
"A little. But he never told me the whole story."
"Ah, yes. I didn't think he would. Despite acting all social and cheerful, he's actually a very private person."
The conversation stopped for a moment, each of us falling deep in meditation. After several moments, though, Amami-chan broke the silence.
"Keita-kun, I want to ask you for a favor."
Saying this, she leaned forward and placed a palm over my hand.
"Would you please speak to him? Whatever he's going through right now, I am sure it has something to do with you, so please talk to him. He'll never say it upfront, but as long as you're the one to do it, he will eventually open up."
"Amami-chan, I don't think I…"
I began, but was suddenly interrupted. Amami-chan's thoughts wafted slowly inside my head.
'Please, Keita-kun. I am so worried about him. I'm afraid he might do something stupid if we don't talk to him. You're very important to him…'
I felt a shudder going down my spine. What did she mean by doing something stupid?
"Amami-chan, what exactly are you afraid of?" I asked, ignoring her puzzled look. "What do you think he'll do?"
"He'll leave, Keita-kun." She said bluntly, without beating around the bush. "If he feels like he's a burden to you or that he's making you unhappy, he will leave."