Chapter: "Abyssal Attraction"
I'm stunned, Aleksander has returned with a little animal in his hands. He is a small cat. I stare at him in the confusion caused by the feline.
-Look at nothing else, I don't know how he got here, do you have any idea?
The truth is, no.
-I can not hold? I whisper anxiously.
-It doesn't matter, take it, but don't take affection, I'll get rid of it -he warns contemptuously.
His white fur is as soft as cotton. How not to love this little ball of hair. He is so beautiful, I check him, he is male. Aleksander snorts in exasperation, can't he even have compassion on an innocent little animal?
"Let me keep it, please," I implore, already preparing myself for his refusal.
-No, it's my final decision. Do not insist.
"You said you wouldn't be so inexorable," I remind him, giving a loud sigh.
"I know, but I didn't promise I'd indulge your damn whims." Put down the cat and help me get all this up, "he orders, adopting a harsher tone.
Reluctantly he put the cat down. I move to the bags and grab some, he picks up what's left and we go up to par. I try to stay behind, but he slows down so I can catch up. I don't even look at it, it's so annoying.
-Don't be angry, he's just a cat, we can't carry an animal. Besides, he could have escaped from his owner's house - he tells me indifferently.
He doesn't care about anything.
-Whatever you say.
In the room we take everything out and start to order what we can. Or what he allows me because he urges me to go down to the kitchen with him to make lunch. All I do is cut up the vegetables while he is seasoning the meat. It is quite a challenge to keep up with my work because I think about tomorrow.
I'm dying of nerves.
A purr appears in the kitchen, the tail of that kitten that walks between my legs makes me lose sight of my goal.
"I can't carry you, I'm busy," I whisper to him, even though I know he doesn't understand a single word I'm saying.
Aleksander says nothing about it.
"It's a cold winter outside, surely he has sought refuge here, you can keep him," he says after a while, giving me a tremendous surprise.
-Really?
-Yes, why was he going to joke?
I smile, I want to hug him, but I won't risk it. He's so grumpy and indecipherable that I don't know if he's going to repel the gesture or reciprocate.
-Thanks a lot.
"Don't thank me," is the last thing he says.
At the end we have finished preparing the food. We eat in the tranquility of a silence that only breaks the clink of cutlery on the plate.
I offer to wash the dishes but he decides to do it. I miss that kindness on his part, I do not insist and take the cat taking him to the room with me.
Those little blue eyes make me fall in love. I play with him for a while and sit on the floor giving him a petting session.
"I'll call you Angel, you look a lot like one, little one," I decree, stroking his belly, he purrs and makes me tender.
"You can't put an angel on a cat," that voice spits out behind me, a chill runs through me, his thick and demanding voice always manages to tighten my hair.
-Why not? I question, frowning.
His frowns more and moves toward me.
-Because I said so, period, Luna. You are not going to give an angel to the cat -he repeats again enraged by something that I consider silly.
-Okay, what do you suggest? -I want to know.
Thus with an air of superiority he puts his hands in his trouser pockets and shrugs his shoulders, before letting out a single word indifferently.
-Tom, you can call him Tom.
-It's such a trite name, it's not authentic, he deserves a name that does justice to his beauty.
-Don't exaggerate, he's a cat like any other. And I found him, so his name will be Tom, period. In agreement?
Bufo.
"Good," I mumble.
"Another thing, I won't allow him to stay in the room, get him out of here, Luna," he demands.
Annoyed by his stupid words I decide to go with the kitten, I take the opportunity to give him tuna. Then I'll talk to Aleksander about a place to sleep and cat food.
When I have satisfied his appetite, I say goodbye. I must take a shower.
Upstairs there is no sign of Aleksander, but the sound of the water falling in the bathroom informs me that he is taking a shower. I have to wait for her to come out, while I wait, I look for what I'm going to wear, I choose a loose-fitting dress, the house has heating anyway, no problem.
The guy I am waiting for comes out of the bathroom, he comes with a towel on his hip, he looks irresistible, that's what my sane side thinks, shaking his hand to nonsense. I think he looks too well carried so little, displaying the sturdy body of him that I have had so much on me. I look like a fool looking at her like that, I can't help it. His abdomen is perfect, his strong arms and not to mention that face that seems to have been painted by the gods. It is the specimen of man that at first glance is all perfection, however, the wolf has a soul full of imperfections that there are few adjectives to describe a dark and dangerous soul.
He looks good, he aI admit, with all the messy hair that gives him a more jovial touch, although on second thought he is even thirty-five.
-Are you going to drool? him, he asks with derision.
He shook his head, surreptitiously.
-Don't believe the last coke in the desert -she rolled her eyes.
"You see me like this, Luna," she attacks, pulling off the towel, releasing his huge erect member.
My watchful eyes fall into the trap.
I stupidly cover my face.
"You're so shameless," he snapped, getting up from the bedspread and without seeing him, I managed to get into the bathroom. Before achieving my mission I have his iron fingers digging into my waist. In one movement he has managed to seize me, on top of him he is naked and his masculine virility presses on my belly.
How can I appease this heat that suddenly burns me?
"But you like it, you love looking at me like that, Luna, don't deny it," he whispers so flattering to himself that I have no doubt that he has the ego in heaven.
Self-centered shit.
-Let me go...
"No, you want to feel me, I'm so hard, Luna," he speaks in my ear.
I cling to the reasoning that I have not lost yet. I'm not going to let go of lucidity now. I can handle this, I won't fall.
"Stand back, don't force me to be with you, Aleksander," I ask, taking a deep breath.
I urgently need to get away from this volcano, I don't want to be part of the eruption.
-You are my wife, therefore you have to satisfy my needs, besides, you well know that everything that concerns sex is not in discussion -he remembers in a roar, he does not let go of me and my skin begins to ache-. Do you want me to seek pleasure in other legs?
He threatens me to sleep with another, is what he wanted to say. As if I cared, he can do whatever he wants, much more so if I can get him to leave me alone. On the other hand, I feel jealous, it is a prick in my stomach that contradicts my senses.
I feel crazy.
-I have not said that I will not fulfill my role as a wife, even if it is a lie, I just don't always feel like it.
"I really want to, Luna," he growls, as if he couldn't shake off the horny himself. Right now, get naked.
I thought that he would not force me to anything, I begin to undress, containing the fury that already accumulates inside me.
He throws me onto the bed without a trace of delicacy, lacking tact in every way. His fierce lips tangle with mine, the kiss is passionate and I cry out for subtlety. I do not have time for anything, he has already entered me with brutality.
He moans, gasps and moves faster and faster, I just want this ordeal to end. The way he does it completely changes how I feel when being intimate, he is not subtle or considerate and I don't like that.
Although I always end up succumbing I do not forget that the act has been involved in violence, it is just sex again. My heart is compressing.
He has ended up inside me. When he lies down next to me, breathing excitedly, I get out of bed without him ordering me, I won't wait for her either.
I may be his wife but this is not rape. It is underwater that a whirlwind of confusion attacks me. I like Aleksander, but I hate him too, I think I'm in love however I think it's crazy.
Falling in love with a guy like him is untenable, what could I see in him to unleash such an abysmal attraction?
"I'm not in love with Aleksander, he's cruel, I don't like the wolf, of course not," I tell myself, although they are just empty words and the real content is what my heart dictates.