Chapter: "The Spring"
After several weeks of having returned to Russia, the coming Spring has arrived, and she is saying goodbye in a heartbeat. I have gone out a couple of times with Aleksander, outside, at the end of April the first leaves of trees, grass and flowers have appeared, the song of the birds, a beautiful melody opposed to the din I hear every day. Whenever I am in bed, walking from one side to the other in the room shots are heard, so I wonder, will there be another injured, a dead? Here in Russia I am still in the room, he only allows me to go out with him on some occasions, even that time he introduced me to another criminal, it was a dinner that took place in a spectral mansion, I was terrified that something would happen out of nowhere. shooting, between so many armed men and two ambitious men playing at making a friendly conversation, anything could happen. In the end we returned home, and I became a hostage again and it breaks my heart.
Not being able to see the sun when I want to, only when he decides to, makes me feel helpless.
Behind closed doors the days get slow. I get bored in these four walls, the only thing that gives me a little encouragement is being able to connect with my parents online. In front of the mobile screen I smile and pretend to be a happily married woman.
Someone comes in, I put the phone on the bedspread to focus on Alena, she brings me dinner, I just get a soft smile from her side. His departure has been as prompt as his sporadic entry.
I get ready for dinner, but just then her impertinent appearance stops me. I see him in the eye, that deep gaze that turns anyone to ashes, scorches me voraciously. I seriously notice him, he's so handsome, I can't find a single flaw in his physique, all the imperfections seem to be inside him, he's like a beautiful fruit but rotten inside.
He enchants the exterior of him, he has managed to cloud my mind with the neat appearance of him, the impeccable facade that is only false. I can't believe my heart is racing so much, I swallow hard. He makes my hair stand on end, he causes chills at the same time that a flutter in my belly is pronounced with greater intensity. In millimeters the empire of sensations that he raises cannot be measured.
He plays with me, the worst thing is that I continue to believe that the game will end and it will stop being something unreal. At this point I begin to believe that I am sick, it is abnormal, unnatural and unacceptable for me to hold onto something that has no future, I long for the end, the full stop but my blinded, mad and masochistic side prefers to give it a comma. I'm stupid, I know, I struggle to change the tilt, yet everything points towards him.
"Have you talked to your father?"
I don't even know why he asks, he himself has said that he follows my calls. Is he testing me? I take a deep sigh before nodding my head.
"Just a few minutes, I wanted to know how I'm doing and if I'll visit you in the summer," I explain softly, then stare at the ring and turn it slowly. I told them that he would talk to you, and I know your answer will be a resounding no.
"I see that you are beginning to know me, today I want you in my bed, eat everything and go to my room, do you understand?"
More demands, damn intimidating orders. I shake my head in a slight nod. He wants sex, I notice it in his eyes that shine, the look of a wolf under a cloak of darkness, I am there imprisoned, trapped in his nets. I feel bad, I do not want him to touch me, I feel weak, I have not starved but I have vomited the last days and that has weakened me. I just hope it is not so abrupt, it is what it usually is, the days when it was delicate are forgotten, it seems they never existed.
"Aleksander, I'm not really feeling well, please understand me," I ask, grasping his arm, he shakes in a hostile way, undoing my grip. Can't you understand me just once in your life? All this time I have been docile, I obey you, have mercy on me, I beg you ...
I join my palms as a plea, he takes them roughly, pity is not in his dilated pupils. The omen is dark, it will not be benevolent. What dislodges me is that he suddenly loosens the fierceness and instead caresses my back, the sudden delicacy generates more fear, he is not like that. He smiles, smiles like a monster.
"Are you hiding something from me?" He asks, he rolls his eyes narrow.
"No," I say without hesitation, but I tear my eyes away from him. I'm not hiding anything from you, Aleksander.
"You confirm it without looking me in the eye, should I believe you?" He questions raising my chin. Verónika has told me that you're feeling nauseous, is that true?
"It was the food, I just have a small discomfort that will go away at any moment," I assure quickly, it is true that I have been languid but I do not want to assume or think that it is something else.
I do not want to imagine being pregnant, the possibility is small, I have not stopped taking the pill. On the other hand, if it were, I wouldn't tell you. what he's talking about and now neither are you, "he declares, the young man's face is a poem.
-What? Him. "His eyes widen. Are you kidding, Aleksander?
"No, it was my decision to wear these rings," I add, showing my hand, it's incredible how I act, even I believe it. His eyes dart to the rings, his jaw dropped. I love Aleksander, and it is not a forced love.
"Go away, Dominic, it's over, go," he demands but he doesn't even move.
He goes to investigate, he continues with doubts, uncertainties that dominate him, making him see our history somewhat strange.
"No," he challenges, it happens that Aleksander rushes on him and takes him by the shirt, holds him tightly, crushing him against the wall.
I stay in my place fearing the fatal outcome.
"What else do you want to know?" Dammit.
"I don't believe anything, they're lying," he roars, trying to get away but his attacker doesn't give him respite -. Let go.
-Fuck! It's your problem if you don't want to accept it.
"Let him go, Aleksander," he implored, taking a step, but still on the sidelines of the two.
"You don't give me orders, Luna!" —He despises him angry.
A quick smile crosses Dominic's lips.
- She is your wife, but you treat her like one of your enemies. What kind of marriage is that? He continues to tempt the devil himself.
I fill myself with vigor and try to pull Aleksander, I have succeeded.
"Alek, I think we should talk to him about myself, about my other family, it's about time we talked about Grace Miller too." I assure giving a deep sigh, he seems exasperated.
"Is Grace Miller your sister?" He, "he asks without giving credit.
"Yes," I confirm.