Chapter: "The Monstrosity"
Aleksander ties his tie, I look at him from the bed, he will be leaving soon for a meeting with my father. I can't believe that everything turned out "okay" last night, every word from my mouth seemed so real, but nothing is true.
When it was time for them to leave, I wanted to leave, run and tell them the truth, I endured the itch and did not confess anything. Then that Russian took me by force, I didn't want to have sex, and he forced me to have sex.
I have woken up with a pain between my legs, it has been so sudden last night, even my fair complexion is adorned with bruises. It is the evil art of him embodied in me.
-Know? Your father has asked me for your phone number, so I'm going to buy you a phone, meanwhile I told him that you lost yours recently, so it won't seem strange to him that you don't have one, "he informs turning around. There is nothing out of place, he looks flawless, he looks handsome. I hate staring at that guy, I sigh. But I warn you that I will follow your calls, do not dare to do something in your favor, if you do not attend to the consequences, have you heard me?
Every damn word, I'm not stupid to believe that he will just give me a cell phone, and he won't follow up.
"I won't, Aleksander," she said, resigned not to challenge him.
She got lost in my wings. I take a deep sigh holding the pendant, it does not mean anything, I should not cling to an empty object. And I do.
That makes me very angry, that it is a tsunami, a tidal wave and a hurricane pulling me out of my place, that it is a dilemma and confusion. All that I feel, hate and appreciate for my captor regardless of what he does, my feelings have fallen for him. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that he doesn't feel or will feel the same way I do about him.
And the ring, the two rings that adorn my hand are false, no matter how expensive and beautiful, they do not hide anything.
The translation is clear, without enigmas, empty, but in this absurd game, a deal or whatever we have, I get tangled up, it seems masochism on my part to deposit my most hidden feelings in a being that will only absorb me until I am extinct.
"I hope so." He looks at me seriously, putting on perfume. I must go.
"Alek, wait."
-What?
"I think you should forgive her, she is still the woman who gave you life, she brought you into this world and she loves you." I am a witness of how much he has suffered having you away, of missing the best moments of your life and ...
-Enough! She exclaims so loudly that I shudder in my place. You don't have to tell me what to do, Luna. Do not get involved in matters that do not concern you, do you understand me ?!
"Contrary to what you think, if it concerns me, Aleksander!" "I dare to yell at him, it's an attack that can take its toll on me." Elena is the woman who took care of me, she is Grace's mother, our sister. Of course she involves me!
"Who do you think you talk to me like that ?!" —Despotrica taking my face, the fury dances in the orbs of her, the demonic dance that triggers the rhythm of my heart -. The fact that you are my wife does not give you the right to have an opinion, if I do not ask you, do not talk about what does not matter to you. Look at me!
I swallow hard.
"I care as much or more than you do," I whisper shakily.
-Shut! He slaps me so hard the burning spreads across my face. You drive me crazy, sometimes you tempt me to stop being so kind to you, Luna Miller.
"You promised to be more flexible, and you won't stop hurting me," I say, sobbing, my voice on a thread, with my legs bent, I hide my face between my legs -. I'm sick of this, I want my freedom, I want my life!
She leaves, slamming the door that breaks me more than I am.
After taking a shower, I stay in the room, the idiot has locked me up. Which reminds me of my days in Russia. It has not changed nor will it, the monstrosity always accompanies it and darkens me. I have a deep pain in my chest, broken wings that no longer fly, illusions stepped on, he will never value anything, he does not reason, he does not think like a human being, he acts like a true being from another planet.
I hear on the other side of the door a purr, I approach touching the wood, if I could go out and caress it, will it be hungry? I can't do anything for the little animal.
I cover my face, sighing.
Being locked up makes me so angry, not being able to do anything increases the annoyance that burns in me, I also die of hunger.
...
Sunrises, nights in suspense, nights of nightmares, rainy days that accompany my crying, sunny panoramas that show a warm embrace, but their warmth is not enough.
The weeks continue to add up, hell is subtracted by his side, there is less and less time with him, the chains are about to be broken. I don't know how to feel about it, I will be free, but I will turn away from the man who has turned my heart so many cartwheels. The desire to fly is as strong as the desire to reciprocate. It is the contradiction putting myself on his side and against him.
"Luna, you left your cell phone in the living room," Grace announces, she has decided to come home to spend the afternoon.
together -. He has rung a couple of times, I did not want to answer because it is Aleksander.
He makes a face. Grace is so sweet, but her pretty way was not enough to please Aleksander. She knows that he is her brother, at first she did not understand Elena but then she accepted the news, Aleksander since then has not reciprocated her sweetness. She considers him bitter and without her knowing it she calls him a refrigerator, he is as cold as the inside of one.
I can't imagine if she finds out that this frivolous man was going to kill her.
Of course I will keep my mouth shut, she is my little sister and ensuring her tranquility is important.
"I'll call him later," I downplay it, putting the phone on the bed.
What will Aleksander want?
I am packing some things, he has informed me that we will return to Russia. I want to feel capable of facing it, of opposing it, this is not normal, that allows me to be with my family, that he has become my father's partner and I continue to be his wife by force, a kidnapped person who cannot express it because she will lose . I don't think it's my life that is at stake either, Konstantinov wouldn't dare kill me after trying so hard to direct this lie. But he could use his power to directly harm my father.
That is why I do not have the audacity to break our deal, I am still within the estimated time, therefore I must stay out of what was planned.
"It's summer, will you talk to him to take a vacation?" He wants to know.
"I don't promise you anything, we're going back to Russia." I don't think it's close, I'm sorry Grace, "I whisper.
I also want to be with her, see those grayish eyes shine and not dull like now.
"Can't you try to convince him?" She asked hopefully.
I sigh deeply.
-But I can not promise anything.
"Maybe I'll say yes." She smiles softly, she hugs me.
I surround her with her doubles my heartbeat. I know that she will also wait for me, that when this nightmare is over I will be able to be with her. I cling to her body like there is no tomorrow, although in reality there will be many where she will not be with me. She separated me a little, looking at her with a smile, I don't want to show the desire to cry in her eyes, however it is evident.
"It's not fair, Aleksander is so selfish, you could stay," she replies with a snort.
I'm surrounded by injustices, and I'm starting to get used to it, of course I want to stay and spend as much time as I want with her. Unfortunately it's impossible for now, I can't stay in New York, that stupid Russian won't let me.
"I'm his wife, Grace," I remind him, as one of the reasons why going back to Russia with him is the right decision. She also wants to be in his country, attend to some pending things, before you think I'll be back.
"Okay," he sighs. Hey, I've been seeing a guy, don't mention it to my parents, especially Dad.
I open my eyes with surprise, that dreaded stage for Dad has already arrived, he is so jealous of her, he is very overprotective with her. Now that I am seeing a boy, I do not know what my father will do when he does.
-Really? Talk to me about him.
His pretty cheeks turn crimson.
"We're just getting to know each other, virtually, he doesn't live here in the United States," she adds, playing with her hands, she's nervous.
"You can trust me, it will be a secret."
"His name is Dominic, he's a handsome Russian, he wants to come see me but he can't find the time." We're the same age, eighteen, "she explains, trampling the words.
Her heart stops me.
Hopefully I'm not talking about the same Dominic.