Forging Uneasiness Nationwide (FUN) is a company with the motto of 'Without fear, there is no goal'. Might not look like a very promising motto to start with, but trust me, it has its point.
Imagine you have a goal: A goal of, I dunno, getting a girlfriend. What drives you? The happiness that you will get once you get a girlfriend? The love you will receive from your new significant other, who you might rely on your life on in the late future? I don't think so. Your drive for this goal will probably the bash from society, friends and family. About how you're a failure in terms of human instinct of trying to reproduce. How you're never going to get a girlfriend.
Hm.
On second thoughts, yeah, the whole motto is rigged, my bad. The whole company is rigged too, with overtime every night, elevators that moan even if a mouse takes a step on it, horribly tainted and glitchy music that sounds like elevator music from the 60's blasting around everywhere-
I'll have to apologise to you for all my complaints going on. I know it's not the most ideal thing to listen to, especially if you have a bad day. But sadly, you're going to have to hear a lot more of these if you're interested with what I've told you so far.
To whoever reached this part of this bad representation of an introduction, which really does sound like a narcissistic comment of my writing, congrats! You are now ready to hear my story of how I had to deal with all my complaints (mostly about the ones listed above) and all the other horrible, disgusting and straightforward otherworldly things that happen in here. All I have to say is that it's not a 'long' story on how I got to this situation, unlike most protagonists in any piece of fiction. Believe me, I would've wanted to be a protagonist too. Instead, I'm here, in this trash can we call a 'company', my eardrums blasting from the music for FUN's cheerful and bright cover for visitors from different governmental figures and CEOs.
It was just a normal- Ah, too generic, I agree. But bear with me, this is the only way I can put a perfectly normal life into a life of which I never wanted to experience or live. Anyways, ehem. Allow me to begin.
It was a perfectly normal day for me, Giles Diamond, in my cozy little apartment. If I wasn't stressing over getting a job, I probably would've sat down with a good book and read until the sun set. Sadly, the sun was blazing while the cold, winter wind blew through the streets of my neighbourhood. Because of how cold it was, I cranked the heater up to the max, but it seemed to make me sweat more than keeping me warm. Despite all that, I still tried to scavage on the internet for a good job opportunity. Something should be there for me, right?
As a previous magazine writer for a small company, I was hoping to find any job applications that was related to writing in it. Cause, you know, that's the only thing I could actually do as a job. Scrolling through endless applications and advertisements at the side of each page I went to, something peculiar was caught at the corner of my eyes. Slowly scrolling up, I saw a colorful poster which I most definitely could see the purpose of the artist had while making this poster. With a spectrum of tie-dye colors for the background and a weird looking panda bear- dog- shark- whatever that was, sticking its snout up at the bottom of the poster, gigantic letters that spelled out F, U and N stretched across it. Curious on whatever this company had in relations to writing, I clicked on its profile, which led me to visit their website.
The company seemed uninteresting. It looked like a financially struggling company with barely any artistic sense to make better posters or websites. There weren't any descriptions about what they actually did, which should've been a huge red flag for me. That is, if I was normal. But running out of money to pay for my essentials, the frantic needs for financial support really got on my nerves. Looking back at myself, even without the fact that I'm stuck in this company at the moment, was an idiotic thing to not check about the company's information on what they were about. But hey, what can I do anyways.
'PUBLISHERS WANTED' was the words that paused my click to close the website. I clicked in for a closer description.
'PUBLISHERS WANTED!
IF YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE IN WRITING, F.U.N NEEDS YOUR HELP!
NEW PUBLISHERS ARE DESPERATELY NEEDED!
COME OVER TO THE ADDRESS DOWN BELOW FOR THE 10TH APPLICATION OF THE YEAR! DO NOT HESITATE TO COME, THERE WILL ONLY BE A SHORT INTERVIEW!'
Weird. But oh boy, the money they gave was too much to resist. Of course, I wouldn't be writing the exact amount nor the address here so people wouldn't consider coming here. But if you are curious, just think of the salary you get, and multiply that by an awful lot. That's the best way I can tell you.
And I kid you not, I smacked my lips as I wrote down the address on my notepad. It's a gift my late grandmother presented, and I only used it in important occasions. But this amount of money was too much to be called 'little' things. With this opportunity, I could move into a new house, get a new car, pay all the bills and actually get a library in my house!
One thing I want to advise to those who are reading this is first: Money can't buy happiness. Younger me always thought of that advise as a hoax, a simple sentence to make youngsters not regret their choices on chasing money. It wasn't. It really wasn't. Happiness is something that you'll never be able to buy with money. It's one of the only things most people fail to get, even after working their asses off their entire life. God, I really sound like a con artist trying to get people into a fake religion, don't I? But, just to let you know, whatever I said was true.
Although I'd love to tell you about the interview and whatnot, there really wasn't much. The building looked like it was built quite recently, and it was a cube-like structure that had the colors of, you guessed it, rainbows. It was 4 storeys high and was slightly smaller than my apartment building. One other thing that was heavily noticeable about the building was the loud music that I heard even before I saw the building. The inside was surprisingly normal though. That was until I was taken to a brief tour around the company after the interview was done.
With a creaky elevator that sounded like someone on life support screaming their lungs out, we descended deeper than I ever would've expected from a building of this size. I was very dizzy the entire ride, probably because of the music blasting ever since I got here. That's probably the only thing I'll not be able to get used to in FUN. A slightly worrying vibration told us that we had reached the other parts of the company, one where not many will expect.
The door opened, and it felt like I was in a whole new dimension. No more music could be heard, only the typing of keyboards and the discussions of a few dozen people. We were in a corridor of some sort, that seemed to lead to many sections of the new floor. The entire thing felt like a fever dream, but if I've watched Star Wars and the Avengers before going to sleep. My guide led me to the left, steering me to a giant metal gate that seemed to guard whatever was inside. Still dumbfounded, I look at him.
'What the hell is that for?' I asked, calmly. He gave me a slight grin, but started to head back. 'I don't think you've answered my question sir!' I told him, as I chased after the man. He was way more agile than what I expected. As returned to where we started from, the guide opened his mouth to say something. And very ironically, a horde of men with onesies that resembled the panda-shark-dog creature were dragged beside us, screaming and shouting. Obviously, I couldn't hear what the guide said, except for his final words, 'you will be able to know once you come back next week for your first day in FUN.'
Was the screaming men and suspiciously huge facility not enough for past me? Yes, it definitely wasn't, as you are reading this while I sit down at my desk somewhere around Section V, writing another conspiracy theory in the comment section of a Youtube video. Sorry, did I say conspiracy theory? If so, my bad. It's a conspiracy, but not a theory. Why? Because everything FUN does, basically, is to create fear using conspiracies. Every single urban legend, scary story or even the news sometimes is all FUN's work. Honestly speaking, it makes me feel terrible with the guilt. But that's a story for another day. It's almost 2 am, and I only have a few more websites to write on before I'm free to go.
That's all from me tonight, have a great day.