In my days of working for FUN, which sadly is still in the present tense, I can't say I am the most sociable worker around, especially when most of the workers around me are involved in working areas where I'm not supposed to access. And how many people perish in those jobs are also a hurdle for me to jump over in order to actually have a proper conversation with someone. And despite the tiresome process, it would be a lie to say that I haven't made an acquaintance in this company of mine. So tonight, I wanted to introduce you to some of the people I've gotten slightly close to. Why, you may ask? It's because there weren't any conspiracies for me to write lately, therefore I had nothing interesting to tell you all.
A basic way to explain why there weren't much jobs for me lately is this: It was the end of the year and the beginning of a new year. With all those celebrations, parties and get-togethers going on, people tend to forget the existence of electronic devices as a whole. Thankfully – or not thankfully, since they're the reasons why I still continue this job – social outcasts exist. And thanks to them not going anywhere else but the bathrooms 24/7 365, I have to write conspiracies to spice their lonely new year's celebrations up. The work does decrease by an awful lot, but it saddens me that there are lonely people who still reads my work, even on a joyful holiday like Christmas or New Year's. And what saddens me the most is the fact that I'm here writing for those miserable people. I only got 2 days off last December, which was Christmas day and an early day off for New Year's Eve!
I can really see that we've drifted off too much from tonight's topic, so allow me to gear back up and drive my way to the yellow brick road for the topic of my acquaintance in FUN.
F-1024. The man himself. A tester for FUN, who happened to be my only acquaintance in this dirt covered, epilepsy causing building of whoever ran this place. He was slightly messed up, but not as messed up as the company he worked for. A masochistic conspiracy enthusiast that happened to stumble across the advertisements of FUN happened to get close with me at the food court. I must've looked like the kid who sits alone at lunches, because he walked up to me and wrapped his sweaty, onesie-wrapped arms around my neck and smiled to me one day. Me obviously being me, pushed him away and wiped the sweat from my neck and stared at the man. He didn't seem to be bothered at all and continued to smile at me. That cycle happened for a week until I couldn't hold it anymore and blurted out some words, which I believe went like this:
Me: Could you please stop doing that?
F-1024: Doing what?
Me: Touching me with those sweaty onesies!
F-1024: Why not?
Me: It's disgusting, that's why!
F-1024: Was it?
Me: What do you think, of course it is!
F-1024: I thought it wasn't since you never talked about it for a week.
He did have a good point there, but let's continue.
Me: Isn't it common sense to think that a sweaty onesie touching your neck is indeed disgusting?
F-1024: But-
Me: Imagine if I did that to you, every day, for a week. How would YOU (emphasis on the tone, not actually 'speaking' in capitalized letters/ Giles Diamond, writer) feel?
F-1024: Good.
Me: Say that again?
F-1024: I'd feel good. How about you add a little force in that too, 'cause that would be the best!
And from there I realized my interactions with him should be mindless, automatic answers, like my answers for any questions that FUN asks. So that's exactly what I did. He'd come, regularly, with his sweaty arms around my neck, and I'd push him away. From there, our conversations began. What I didn't realize at first was the fact that he wasn't 'as' weird as I thought he was at first. He actually had similar thoughts about the company, how it felt too ominous and despicable, regretting and guilty on what our actions affected the world, how overtime is a completely useless concept and how rigged the motto was. It was nice, talking to someone who actually seemed normal in the midst of all the chaos FUN created for me and on the interim, felt somewhat relieving and relaxing.
F-1024's real name was Thomas. Thomas Sandler. He was 21, had just dropped out of college, and was working at FUN full-time. His parents didn't know what he did or where he worked at, but fully supported him with whatever he did. He had 2 dogs that all had died before he graduated high school. He had a couple of friends who he skateboarded with on the weekends before working at FUN. He got aroused from physical pain. He liked flowers, especially daisies, carrying them around everywhere. But deep inside his weird and masochistic-looking shell, he was scared and insecure of the future. Just like any other kid. His internal loneliness brought him to the world of conspiracies. He explained that although he didn't believe in conspiracies much, he still enjoyed them because it was like an escape from reality. A breath of fresh air from the pressuring world around him. And although he thought of FUN as a terrible company, he admitted that he did enjoy the jobs he was given as a tester. That was the difference between the two of us.
You will never imagine my face when I received the news of his passing 2 months after we started our conversations. He had seemingly died to a creature classed E on the USHER scale. I would've started going on and on about what the USHER scale was, but it happens so that I am not in the mood for that, so I'll save the explaining up for another day.
He was torn apart, and the only remnants of him were the bloody pieces of his onesie and a collar. And it happened to be that I was the only person left to clean up the disaster that happened. It was truly disgusting to agree to cleaning of the remainders of my dead acquaintance with my own hands, but what was more disgusting was that I had no choice but to agree to FUN's orders. That I'd never expressed my anger on them, never telling them that I couldn't and wouldn't do it. That I didn't WANT to talk back. Maybe if I did indeed talk back, I would've been at a worser financial state, but living life knowing that I was at least out of the worser parts of life and was morally right. But I couldn't, as I was a coward. I hid behind the excuses of the contract of my job and blamed my financial state for it that time. I really shouldn't have.
His funeral was held in a small park, close to his childhood home. A couple of his friends in high school was present, along with his loving parents. They all looked devastated, which is my guess of what I looked like as well. No one bothered to ask who I was or what I had in relations to Thomas Sandler, and I was extremely thankful for that. I'd brought flowers for his tomb, like everyone else who was present. It was 2 daisies, the flowers he liked the most. When I asked him why a week ago, he responded with a smile like always.
'Daisies have a meaning of purity and innocence. Something that I've drifted so far away from. And I just thought, maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get those back, if I carried daisies along with me. It's just a silly thought, but I always felt relieved even if it was one. Why, are you doubting that it works? Try it out yourself then, 'cause it really does work!' He said, as he chuckled at his own words.
I happened to remember that moment as I placed the two daises down. A happy memory, soon to be a painful one. And in my desperate attempts for it to not, I took one daisy from the tomb and carefully placed it in my right pocket, and rushed out of the park, forgetting to tell him goodbyes. The daisy now resides in many of the books I read as a bookmark. And every time I look at it, I cannot help but try my best to smile at the memories of Thomas Sandler that still resides inside the tiny corner of my heart.
I think it's time I come clean and be truer to myself. F-1024, or 'Thomas Sandler' wasn't just an acquaintance to me. He was a friend. Our interaction might have been a fraction of a fraction in the time of the grand universe we live in, but as they always say, quality over quantity. For I truly felt alive during those 2 months, which was something I haven't felt in a long time. This company is chewing me up slowly but surely, but the depressing reality of me not being able to survive without the aids of FUN is the catalyst to the process. I will never forgive myself for what had happened at the day of cleaning of Thomas Sandler. I never will.
I've really gotten too sentimental here, huh? Sorry about that, must've been overwhelmed by these memories for a moment. I got to cheer myself up. It's New Years! Happy laughter of families and joyous sounds of fireworks are the only things I should be thinking of! It's almost time for me to go anyways, so I'll be stopping here. Maybe I'll pay good old Sandler's grave on the way home, just to give him a proper farewell.
That's all from me tonight, and happy new years all!