The rose was so beautiful and blooming, but it had sharp thorns. Just as love is so beautiful. However, if you are not careful, you will injure the owner."
*
Hi how are you, as if a question came to my mind, the stupidity that I experienced has given you a rejection.
Umi, I'm sorry, because I'm the one you breathed last. Until all my life is turned upside down
"Mom... Mommy."
"Son, forgive your mama and papa. Because of us, you were born in a life of world injustice."
He is Farhan, my son who is two years old. My son is my spirit and strength.
Farhan, indeed my son is very funny and understanding. He never fussed even with me at work.
I live with Bella in Jakarta, an adult magazine job offer I accept, how else can I survive with my baby who needs a lot of needs.
"War, how did you accept the offer to be a model for a clothing brand in Seoul, South Korea?"
Yes, my job as a model requires me to take off my hijab, now I have to let my body become the subject of men's wild imaginations.
I always get a job modeling a bikini or clothes that are fairly vulgar, but I don't care anymore, all this is only for my son Farhan who was born because of my stupidity on the basis of Mas Adrian missing somewhere.
Mas Firman, who loves me so much, now never cares, and treats me like family dust.
"Okay, Bell. I'll take it, but Farhan has to come too."
"Yes, I already know, that you and your son are inseparable."
I smiled, because Farhan is the source of my strength.
"War, did you get the info, Mas Adrian?"
I just shook my head, because until now, Mas Adrian, Farhan's biological father, seems to have been swallowed up by the earth.
"But, Rendra found a guy who looked like Adrian with another woman."
"Are you sure?"
Bella just smiled, because she still hesitated.
I started to turn on the tv in the living room when suddenly I heard news from an upscale infotainment.
"Good afternoon viewers, Adrian Maulana, a son of a businessman, will soon marry a daughter of the regent of Solo named Sekar Kinanti on 02-02-2020."
A face that I was looking for now appears on a screen, my heart feels bad. In fact, sliced by his false promise, I looked at my son who was playing on the bed.
I want to feel like shedding tears for my stupidity. Seriously, this is the dumbest thing I've ever experienced. Shame on me.
"Oh, isn't that the Adrian you're looking for?"
I was just silent then, even though Bella tried to ask.
"Oh, I feel like I'm suffocating, an ignorant boy, War. Even though you can see that the candidate is already ugly like a barrel, and you are beautiful, you're just not the regent's son."
Bella looks enthusiastic commenting on Adrian and her partner. Now my love has destroyed a part of life. Said if it reappeared. Yes, if I'm not stupid, then I accept the proposal from Mas Rumi, maybe Umi is still alive and I don't live like this.
Daydreams and memories of my family. I miss them, but do I still deserve to come back. I am very stupid, for the sake of love I surrender my body.
And, I was just a woman who was used to being thrown away, unfortunately I was expelled from my family too. Luckily I have a friend like Bella in Jakarta.
Bella who has made me rise. She also offered me as an adult magazine model. I accept for the sake of my son once again.
Moreover, Mas Rendra has been good to me, but I don't want to hurt Bella. He once asked me to marry him, but I refused on the basis of friendship.
Mas Rendra is a model agent owner. He is really close to me, sometimes giving me lots of bonuses with excuses for Farhan.
Once in a while I was secretly invited to play in the house of his family, who were happy with Farhan's presence. In fact, they agreed more that I was side by side with Mas Rendra compared to Bella.
Farhan sometimes likes to be carried by Uncle Roy, who is the father of Mas Rendra. Sometimes Uncle Roy also asks Farhan for a day at his house.
I always take Farhan with me every time I work, and he's used to it, when I shoot. Mas Rendra took care of him, sometimes asking for permission to take my son to his house.
Mbak Novi and Mas Fajar, his brother, Mas Rendra, who have been married for a long time, but have not had children. So they love Farhan like their child. But, I realized, that I don't want to be a selfish friend.
"War?!"
I woke up with a call from Bella.
"What Bell?"
"War, I think I'm bored with Mas Rendra."
"Bored?"
"Yeah, just bored."
"Why?"
"He's not fun and old-fashioned being a human. Then it's not like Sam, who is very active, I think I'm done with him. He suits you better, because you're both old-fashioned."
"Bell, don't be like that. Poor Rendra."
"You have replaced my position, after all, Auntie Ratri doesn't like me."
"Yeah, maybe because you..."
"Yes, because I like freedom, then I like shopping, after all, I only ask for a month's allowance from Mas Rendra, one hundred million a month."
"Bell, One hundred million?"
I tried to repeat it, how is he not married he has asked for that much. I know Bella loves shopping and clubbing. Meanwhile, I value money for my son especially.
I don't care, even if the world refuses, I love my son. I will also introduce who the father is. Because he deserves to know. I don't care even if Adrian refuses, I will still love my son.
Bella smiled, "I'm asking for a hundred million, he's really stingy, even though if I'm with my former riches who twist at least I get a monthly allowance of two hundred and fifty million."
"Bell?"
"Hahaha, besides that he never has enough time to accompany me, when he has a girlfriend, but looks real single?"
I just smiled while stroking my chest. How could I not, in order to earn a hundred million, I had to work until I got home late at night, sometimes even forgetting to spend time with my son.
Bella started to go to her room, while I had to put my son to sleep. I always make it a habit to put him to bed at eight o'clock at night, while singing sholawatan, so that my son is not like me.
Farhan began to fall asleep in my arms, I kissed his handsome face. He is so handsome like his father. Even though his father abandoned him.
My happiness is my son, my life is only for my son, and I have no intention of getting married. Because I still can't do it. Maybe I'll just be a single parent forever. It's enough for me to be the parent of my son.
I took a deep breath until I pushed away everything I wanted to have. Only my little angel can make me survive until now.
*