BRIAN
I open the hangar and I stare at the jet standing before me and all it's capacity. I remember that I was a very young boy when I looked up in the sky and I just knew that I wanted to become a fighter pilot. Everything about the freedom that it brings attracted me. I knew that if I can be up there I would be free and no one would be able to control me.
My mother was very overbearing when I was a child and I guess she did not stop being overbearing since I am all grown up now. I do not know why she wants to control all the aspects of my life and maybe this would be the reason why I have such a problem with authority. I do not want to listen to anyone as I want to make my own path in life.
I take a seat on the cold floor sitting with my back against the wall of the hangar. I just want to take in the majesty of this jet and what it represents to me. Then my thoughts go back to the dream that I had but still, I can not remember what the dream was about except that I felt extreme fear which I am not accustomed to.
I do not know for how long I have been sitting there but I know I should try and sleep for the remainder of the night. I get up and close the hangar door behind me. I know that we should not be here at night but most of the men on base know me and do not really question when I do something.
I also carry the rank of Captain and so they are forced to listen to me by default. I walk through the base to my room and I can see it is a clear sky tonight. The stars are visible and it displays to me a symphony of lights. I take a deep breath just before I get into the building just enjoying the peace that this base brings to me.
I get into my bed and just before I close my eyes I think of that woman in the gym that I desperately want to meet. I hope that she is doing okay and I close my eyes with the thought of seeing her again tomorrow.
LISA
It is almost as if everything is in a fog. I watch as the man puts a bandage around my ankle and we talk to each other for a while. He basically just tells me how to treat my foot for the next few days and then it should be fine. I thank him as I try to stand up. I can feel that this pain is probably going to bother me for a while.
As I make my way out of the gym with my crippling foot. My thoughts remain with the man that I saw displaying his muscles to me. Then another disturbing thought jumps into my head. I quickly rest myself against the wall and then dial Steve's number.
"Dammit!! Pick up! Pick up!"
How is it possible that I could have forgotten about him again? I guess I was so distracted by the muscles that I was staring at it that Steve was very far from my thoughts. Then I hear a raspy voice saying.
"Hello?"
"I am the worst girlfriend in the world and I do not expect your forgiveness..."
Then I hear is his beautiful laugh on the other side of the phone and I realized only now how late it is.
"...oh no, and now I have woken you up. God, I am so so sorry!"
I know that he does not get a chance to sleep very much and now, I also destroy that for him. I would almost feel better if he shouts at me or tell me that he does not forgive me.
"Baby, you can wake me up anytime. I know that you are busy and that everything is new to you...I am really not mad at you"
It can not be that one man can have so much understanding as this man. I feel a strange feeling within myself as I did not think that I would feel this way. I feel angry or maybe irritated. Why doesn't he get mad for what I am doing to him?
If the situation was reversed, I would have been very mad at him, or would I? I try to stay as calm as possible and then we just talk about this and that. It almost feels like a duty more than a desire to talk to him. I know that my desire is definitely with the man in the gym but there is no desire for Steve.
After talking to him I make my way back to the building. I need to get some good sleep after hurting my foot like that. We did a semester or two of medical doctoring as it was required if you wanted to become a psychiatrist and so I know that I will have more pain tomorrow than what I am having right now.
I sneak into my room because Stacy is already asleep. I crawl into bed and I am taken to my dream world almost immediately. As I get up, the next morning, I can feel that my foot is hurting severely. I watch Stacy walking out of the bathroom and she immediately points to my foot asking what happened.
I tell her about my clumsiness but I leave the part out of how I watched this man of my thoughts teasing me with his muscles. She helps me get ready for work and then she tells me that I need to go to the main building to get medicine.
No one is allowed to just buy their own medicine as they have to explain why they need it. They are very strict with the kind of drugs that we put into our system and I guess I know why. If one of these planes should fall to the ground because of negligence, they will not just have your head but probably your entire life.
I walk as fast as I can and as pain free as possible, which is impossible, to the Tower. I explain to my supervisor and he excuses me to get the medicine that I need. As I walk through the main building doors that fear of seeing my dad again, consumes me. Without really knowing what I am doing, I look to the right and left as far as I walk. I really do not need to see my dad.
I make it to the doctor's office and soon he checks out my foot and prescribes the medicine that I need. He hands me the pills and tells me when to take them and gives me some more bandages to look after my foot.
Then I make my way back to my Tower. I am not here to nurse my injuries but I need to get to the bottom of Captain Brian Smith's condition so that I can return to having a normal life with Steve.
BRIAN
Each and every one of us stand next to a jet and is inspected like every other day. They check if we have the right suit on for flight and whether we have secured your helmet the right way. I can, of course, do this in my sleep but I know that the Admiral asked me to go through this training anyway.
I can not wait to see what mission we have for today and then after inspection, we get into our planes. As I a taxi out of the hangar, I hear a new voice coming on the radio. This is not the woman that I am used to being my air controller and I feel a bit disheartened.
"This is bravo Romeo 05, I just want to know whether you going to be my air traffic controller from now on?"
"This is Tower, no Captain, I am just filling in. She will be back as soon as possible. Over"
Immediate relief fills my heart. I really enjoyed having her voice in my ears and now I can get into the air with confidence. Then the Tower contact me again.
"Bravo Romeo 05, this is Tower. Please be ready to receive the mission. Over"
"I am ready"
"For today's mission, you will be tested on your maneuvering abilities. The leader will lead you through a series of obstacles and you are required to radio in every time you have passed a marker. Do you copy? Over"
"Roger that. Over"
This is also one of my favorite missions. I like to do the impossible with a plane and just as I get into the air, I spot the leader that we will follow. We all fall into formation and start to follow him. If it is the same as I did the last time when I tried to qualify for Captain, I know that there was this one place where I made it just.
I know that these tests are vigorous for a reason and I hope that I would be able to do it the way that they want me to. But if I see a way that is better than theirs, I am definitely going to take it.
LISA
I look at my watch and I realized that I have not been gone longer than an hour. I really want to be there when he is busy with a mission because I need to assess his moves. I need more evidence that is mentally unstable because, at this moment, I see no mental instability.
I take over from the air controller that filled in for me and I drink my pain pill as soon as I sit down. My foot is killing me and I know that there will be no mercy for me because in the Navy you need to do what is expected of you without complaining.
I look on my monitors and I see that Captain Smith is on route and on schedule. I look at the mission that he has to do today and again I see many possibilities for not abiding by the rules. I can but only hope that he would do what is expected from him but then again I do not know what to expect from him.