BRIAN
It's not too far away from the base where we are expected to jump through hoops and when I mean hoops, I meant serious difficult hoops. I see the mountain tops in front of me and then I remember my training very well. I remember how daunting those mountains were to me and I know how each and every pilot is feeling right now.
But they do not know exactly what to feel until they have to do what the leader does. I, on the other hand, would not find it that daunting anymore but rather how can I improve it. I have a few hours of flight behind my name even a few years but not enough to make me an expert like some of the people in the Navy.
As we get closer, I am expected to let my air controller know and so I get on the radio.
"Tower, this is Bravo Romeo 05. Please come in. Over"
"This is Tower, Bravo Romeo 05. We are reading you loud and clear. Over"
Almost immediately when I heard her voice in my ears, I feel that peace coming over me again. I have to find out who this woman is because for some reason she intrigues me. I smile as I reply.
"We have reached our starting point. I will keep you updated as I go. Over"
"Roger that. Over"
Then without a worry in this world, I follow the leader through the first obstacle.
LISA
I am still busy reading through the file of what the mission will consist of as I have come late into work today, then I hear his voice on my headset. I am almost surprised by his voice because it is so nice to hear it again.
He lets me know where he is and that he is going through his first obstacle. Everything he is doing is still exactly according to the rules and he does not sound like someone that is mentally unstable. I begin to wonder why my dad would put me in a situation with him if there is nothing wrong with him.
I need to get hold of his real file so that I can know and see for myself what is going on. I do not know how I am going to get hold of it as only the higher-ranked officers or the psychiatrists have access to it.
Then, I patiently wait for him to go through the obstacles and I make sure to watch him on the radar. He goes through the first obstacle without having a problem and without breaking any rules. He reports back to me just as he is supposed to and still isn't doing anything wrong or showing me any symptoms of being unstable.
He carries on through obstacles one...two...three and then they have to do the last one.
BRIAN
It has been a breeze and not nearly as difficult as it was the first time around. I could easily conquer each and every obstacle and I am doing it exactly the right way but then as we get to the fourth obstacle, I remember how I struggled with it. I see the two mountains appear in front of me and I know what they going to expect from us.
I watch the leader's plane turning on its side and then fly through the narrow pass of the mountains without a hitch. It looks very easy but I remember the wind playing with your jet as if it is a paper plane. The wind between those mountains has a different structure.
The speeds of the wind differ in each section of the narrow pass. So, if you want to go to the left you should go to the right and the speed at which your jet is flying through it goes against everything you have been taught.
There is no way that they can determine the wind and the speed of your plane through that pass. Because of that, I do not know what I am going to get and each plane would be different. I have to be alert the entire time and conscious of where my jet wants to go.
I am the first one to go after the leader and I can feel my hands starting to sweat. I have to take control of my nerves and be at my highest concentration. I approach the mountain tops almost in a blink of an eye and I must wait for the right moment before turning my jet.
I can feel my breathing starting to increase rapidly and that goes for my heart too. Then I say to myself.
" 3...2...1..."
I turn the plane with all my might as I know I only have a second to react. As I go through the pass, I can feel how the wind is playing with my jet. I have to move the joystick only inches to the right and left. If I do it too much to the left, I will crash into the mountains. If I do it too much to the right, I will crash into the mountains.
I do not realize that I was holding my breath the entire time until I breathed again. I have to breathe a few times before I could radio the tower.
"Tower this is Bravo Romeo 05. I have completed the last obstacle successfully. Over"
I smile in relief because I know if I mess this up then everyone would have seen me messing it up. I have a certain reputation to keep up and this would have destroyed all my hard work. I spin my jet a few times just because I want to celebrate. Today is a great day and somehow I am glad that the Admiral forced me to do my training again.
LISA
I hear him telling me that his last obstacle was a success and I have watched him carefully through the radar. I can not stop myself from being proud of him even though I am supposed to be on the other side, where I should be skeptical the entire time. I know that he can be cocky but maybe there is a reason for his madness.
I feel the supervisors' hand on my shoulder again and then I take off my headset to talk to him.
"I need you to ask Captain Smith to come back to base asap"
"Yes, sir"
I can see that there is something bothering him and I want to ask him what the reason is but I know how the rankings work in this place. You are not supposed to ask questions just follow orders. But that does not stop the frown that I create on my face because I want to know why. It is very difficult for a psychiatrist not to get the answers to my questions.
"Bravo Romeo 05, this is Tower. Do you read? Over"
"This is Bravo Romeo 05. I read you loud and clear. Over"
"You are ordered to come back to base with immediate effect. Over"
"Roger. Over"
BRIAN
I know that the obstacle course is not finished yet as they will take us over the ocean now but I turn my plane around and make my way back to the base. As a taxi my jet back into the hangar, I see Admiral Johnson waiting for me. I am very surprised to see him here because I am sure he first wants me to complete my training.
I take my helmet off and then step out of my plane. I walk over to the Admiral and salute him.
"Sir!"
"At ease, Captain"
I know that you are not really allowed to stand at ease when an Admiral talks to you and so I start to wonder what is going on. I spread my legs and put my hands behind my back.
"What is going on, sir?"
"I wanted to deliver this news to you personally and I wanted to give you my condolences..."
In an instant, my heart stops and my entire body froze. I can only hear my breathing and see his lips moving.
"...your mother passed away this morning. You are excused to attend and handle what you need to do. We will give you three days and I just once again want to say how sorry I am"
I am not sure if I heard him correctly but I think he just told me that my mother passed away. I watch him as he salutes me and then turns away. I just stand there and stare in front of me because I know that this can not be real. I do not know for how long I have been standing there.
I wait for something to happen. I do not know what I am waiting for. Maybe I should cry or maybe I should scream. I guess I should do something but it is as if I can not do anything. Then, I realize that I probably should go home. I walk back to my building and put things in my bag. I do not know what things I am putting in my bag and I see a car waiting outside for me to take me home.
I get into the car and I realized that I have not spoken even one word or shed one tear. All I know is that I should get home and that this frown on my face is not disappearing.