BRIAN
I sit in the car while I stare out of the window and play the words of the Admiral over and over again in my thoughts. It is almost as if I can not fathom what just happened. I did not have the best relationship with my mother. She was but a distant woman to me.
Because she always wanted to control me, I grew further and further away from her. But I have not been the best son in the world either. But if I have to think of something that I could be grateful for, it would be the reason that she always took me in no matter how much I messed up.
I never knew my dad and my mother would not tell me anything about him except that he died before I was born. Apparently, he died in an accident. I do not even know what he did for a living and now I guess I would never know.
We have not had much in our lives and it always was just me and my mom. I did not have grandparents or cousins like all the other kids. It was only us. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. She is not in this world anymore.
I did not hate my mother but I do not really know if I loved her. I guess I do not really know what love is. All I know is that I had to almost teach myself to grow up and be independent. She did not teach me what was right or wrong, I had to figure that out all to myself. She was a lonely person and as far as I can remember she never brought a man back home.
There was one thing that she told me about my dad. He was the love of her life. That is all that she said over and over again. Sometimes she would sit in a chair just staring out in front of her looking sad. But I guess I did not care enough to find out why, I was too busy being me.
I know that she wanted me to be a success in life and was really mad when I messed up. But she also did not do anything to help me, she just always said to get ahead in life, you need to figure things out for yourself. The ride is not so long back to my town or maybe it is that I just do not have any grip on time right now.
Like a robot, I get out of the car and thank the driver. I stand in front of my house that I used to call home and now, I know if I walk through those doors, my mother would not be sitting in her chair. I know that I should walk through those doors but I can not seem to get my feet to walk.
Everything seems so quiet and it is strange how I have not realized the quietness before. Now, it is almost too loud for my ears to bear. Finally, after what seemed like hours, I start to walk. I still have my bag in my hand. I remember how I did not tell my mother that I would go back to the Navy.
I hope that they spoke to her before her death and told her this because she was still supposed to send me some clothes. I guess...I can get that all by myself now. I put my hand on the door handle and suddenly I stop to breathe. I am sure that this is all just a prank as I can not imagine life without my mother even though I did not love her so much.
LISA
I finished some of my paperwork and then my supervisor comes to me again.
"Your pilot will be grounded for the next three days. You will be assigned to another pilot and as soon as he returns you will be back with him again"
"Yes, sir!"
I want to ask but I am too afraid but I go ahead anyway because I am not really an air traffic controller. I am here as a psychiatrist and I should know what is going on with Captain Smith. He must be grounded because he did something wrong and I need to know what. I know that I am taking a big risk and then I ask.
"Sir, if I may ask?"
He turns around and then walks back to me.
"Yes?"
"Did Captain Smith do something wrong to be grounded?"
I can see that my supervisor is a bit confused by my question or maybe my guts but then he says.
"No, it is personal reasons"
"Thank you, sir"
Now I am even more intrigued about what is going on with the infamous Captain Smith. I need to get to the bottom of this. I quickly send a message to my dad to meet me tonight at a restaurant far far away from here.
"I need some info. Let's meet up tonight"
It does not take long for me to get a reply.
"How does eight sound?"
"Perfect. See you then"
I know that my dad can probably not wait for me to give him some info about how mentally unstable Captain Smith is but the big surprise will be waiting for him because I have nothing for him.
The rest of the day, I go from one controller to the next as they take lunch. I have never been shunted around as much as I have been since I became the air controller for Captain Smith. There is always something going on with him.
The day is finally over and I can not wait to meet up with my dad. I was considering a lot of thoughts in my mind about why Captain Smith is grounded and what could possibly be wrong with him. It is good to be out of my uniform for a while as I get a cab that takes me to the restaurant we would meet up in.
As always my dad is first in the restaurant and I see a big smile on his face. I am sure that he just wants to know what is going on and whether he can dismiss Captain Smith. He gives me a kiss on my cheek and I hug him while he pulls out my chair.
"So...what is going on?"
I like to torture him so I do to him what he did to me when he approached me for help.
"Do you not want to know how I am coping in my new job on the base? Are you only worried about Captain Smith?"
A frown appears on his face as if I have just insulted him.
"No of course, not. I want to know all about how you find our base"
I laugh and then I say to him.
"I know you well enough to know that it is not the truth. So, I will just cut to the chase. I heard that Captain Smith was dismissed for three days because of personal reasons. I need to know what the reason is"
I can see the confusion on his face and I know now that he does not know why he was dismissed.
"I do not know but I can find out for you"
"Yes, please. If you want me to spy on him I need to know everything about him and now that we are on that topic I still wanted to talk to you"
"About what?"
"The file that you sent me..."
Then I see something different in his eyes. I know him to be a truthful man and he would easily speak his mind. In my life, I have never seen him tell a lie to anyone but now all the signs in his body language show me that he is lying.
"What about the file?"
"Dad, what is going on with his file? It is only one page. I have seen soldiers with fewer problems than him with thicker files"
He avoids my eye contact and then puts the serviette over his lap.
"That is all the information that I have about him. I gave everything to you"
My dad is bluntly telling me a lie and he has no remorse in telling me this life. It seems that there is something more to the story of Captain Smith and my dad than what he is telling me.
BRIAN
I open the door to my house and as I close the door behind me and I see the chair where my mother always sits, I swear I want to cry but nothing is happening. I have never cried in my life before. I remember my teachers hitting me because I did not do my homework and I would not shed a tear.
I know that I feel sad and even a little bit disappointed. I feel disappointed because my mother is not here anymore and as if she has let me down somehow. I walk over to the chair and play with my hand on the chair. I need to feel something. I know that I should. But again there is nothing.
I walk over to her desk where she sat many times before. She always used to tell me if something went wrong or if she should die, I should open this drawer and I would find everything that I need. I open the drawer and there I find an envelope.
I take the envelope and take a seat in my mother's chair. I slowly opened the envelope and I see a letter.