Once I got into my room I laid my head on the door and sighed.
"That was just too stressful."
Then I got up and remembered something.
"Crap! I forgot my book!"
I opened the door only to see Jake there in a pose as if to start knocking. In his other hand hand was my book.
"Uh, hey. Here's your book. You forgot it," he said handing it to me. I took it and started to close the door. Jake stopped it by putting his hand on the door.
"Wait!"
I looked at him confused until memories from last night came in. I looked away from him.
"What?"
"Alex and Sebastian wanted to say they're sorry."
"Then why didn't they come themselves to say that?"
"Because they figured you wouldn't want to see them right now."
"Shouldn't they have figured I didn't want to see you either?"
Jake winced at that last part. "Ouch, take it easy. I just wanted to say sorry too."
"Well you just did so goodbye."
With that I closed the door and sighed.
"Idiots."
I went to my bed and sat down. I opened my book and started reading hoping to get away from what just happened.
After a while my phone started ringing. I picked it up and looked at who it was.
"Oh, it's Drew."
I accepted it and put the phone to my ear.
"Hey."
"Question, are you free tomorrow?"
Straight to a question like always.
"Yeah, why?"
"Thought we should hang out."
It didn't take long for me to respond.
"That sounds like a great idea. How about at that coffee shop around noon?"
"Perfect."
"Great then I guess I'll see you then."
"Unless you dream about me."
"Shut up!"
Drew laughed. "Okay, okay I'll stop. See you tomorrow."
"Whatever."
With that I ended the call and put my phone down.
"A day out does sound great. It means me being away from them."
I got back to my book and continued reading.
After a couple hours someone knocked on my door. I got up and walked to it and opened it.
Sebastian was there with his head hanging a little low.
"Hey uh, sorry about earlier. It was stupid and wrong."
I sighed. "It's fine. I don't really care anymore. It's not like I complained or anything it was just surprising to me so that's why I left in a hurry."
"What are you trying to say?"
He walked into my room pushing me back a little from the door.
"Nothing, just that it's perfectly fine. You were competing with your somewhat brother and I get it. I mean I do it all the time-" I stopped immediately and dropped my head.
"Samantha are you-"
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out!"
I pushed him out and slammed the door.
"What the hell! Why did you do that?" He yelled through the door.
"Go away! Just go."
He sighed and left leaving me alone. I fell to the ground weak from holding back.
"I'm so stupid."
My words came back to me.
I mean I do it all the time...
With my brother.
Why did I say that? He's gone. It's been almost a year now. Why am I still so attached to the thought that he's still here and will be home in a few weeks or so to visit? He's gone.
He's gone.
Tears started to fall from my eyes drifting down my checks before falling to my hands.
It's all my fault.
I killed them.