As a matter of fact ,we elders make a great blunder to take the kids lightly. Opposite to that Kids are actually, a great observers, and my daughter Reema was not exceptional. She had no intention of messing with Ravi, even if he was not around or present at home , because she knew he would not fall behind to persecute her if he found her guilty. Therefore, Reema shared an entirely different sort of relationship with Ravi, a no-nonsense type. She did not dare show him all kinds of tantrums and nuisances, as she used to do with us. And I could never create that type of image in her mind as Ravi had. Therefore, she always took her grandmother and me for granted and never paid respect to us. Ravi always used to get furious at me for that. He always said,
''What the hell are you doing? Today's born girl dictates to you. Are you a crackpot? Can you not see the thing? She acts as if she were your mother. And you are following her instructions and dancing to her tune as a good daughter .Stop behaving like this or she will go out of your hand. "
On many occasions, Ravi appeared strict towards her before me. However, I always discouraged him from being abrasive towards her and asked him to deal with her nicely. Right now, she is too small. And she will permanently distance herself from him. And Ravi shut my mouth by saying, "You are enough to shower her with love. "I never spoke to Ravi in front of him because I knew he'd be angry, but I did make sure I didn't leave my daughter alone with him. At the same time, Reema avoided accompanying her father. But, before long, my excess became an impediment to her path. And I was left with no option except to repent of my action.
I remembered she'd been trying to learn to ride for the past two years and still couldn't .People around me used to convince themselves that I let Reema leave and fall. Kids learn to ride bicycles like this, but I ignored them .I was afraid she'd fall off the bike and get hurt if the staff let her ride alone .And she, too, was gripped by fear. Everyone was smirking at both of us. According to them, I was at fault if she could not learn to ride a bicycle. And in no time, it became the talk of the town as well. I was showered with parenting tips as well. No doubt, the whole thing was humiliating for me. But I knew, at the same time, that there was no benefit to talking to Ravi regarding it. He would just hold me accountable for the whole thing. I was sulking at my staff too, who were leaking information about my daughter to neighbours. Anyway, I began to ignore all the snide remarks and awful remarks. But yes, I was sad inwardly that my daughter could not learn to cycle so far. Finally, I consoled myself by saying,
"Each child has their own pace of learning. As parents, we should not put pressure on them. We should teach the child something in a play way manner. "
As a result, my daughter could not learn to cycle. And after a while, I had to shift the cycle in the garage. Likewise, she could not learn to swim either. I was terribly sorry that I never encouraged Reema to fight her fear, and so she became a coward.
Reema used to be a real pain in the neck. She had an awful habit of not being able to amuse herself at all. She always looked for someone to entertain her. At the same time, she couldn't stay committed to anything for very long. Secondly, she used to get bored quickly. She expressed her boredom in a very aggressive manner, like dragging her toys all around the house, crying like anything, etc. The worst thing was that she did not know what she would do to make herself happy. I always used to encourage her to pick some hobbies and follow them apart from studying. Unquestionably, she began the activity with full vigor. Still, after some time, she lost her interest in it, and she began to look for some excuse for switching to other things. I had enrolled her in dance and badminton classes on her constant request for two months. But as usual, after some time, she began to show her tantrums and did not let the course proceed smoothly. Because of her erratic temperament, she could not correctly learn anything. Actually, it was not her cup of tea to live a disciplined and dedicated life, which are essential ingredients for success.
It was not enough. Likewise, she used to give me a tough time in her studies too. It was really a herculean job to make her sit for her studies. She always looked for a way to get rid of it. I was sorry to say it, but she always made me feel that she was doing me a great favour by doing her studies and finishing her homework on time. Besides, she could not do a study on her own. Therefore, I had to sit with her as long as she was not done with all the work. Otherwise, she used to go into the la-la world or kill her entire time sitting like that or doing irrelevant stuff and killing her time. I understood she was at fault, but I did not try to make her know that it was her work to sit and study on her own and finish her homework.
Ravi was dismayed to see that Reema was not taking her studies seriously, despite the fact that she was nearing the end of Class VIII. At the same time, he was shocked to find that she had no dream of becoming something in her life, like other kids. What is the reason for her low score? Her pet answer would be that she was not present at school when this chapter was taught. Or maybe the paper was tough enough. Or maybe the mummy did not make her do the practice for that lesson. or our teacher did not make her do it in class. She always looked for an excuse to wash her hands. But she would never agree that she was accountable for her failure. He felt terrible when she ascribed others' failures to her. Her lame excuse made us think that she was weak and careless, and she could not be a responsible child ever. Ravi understood that there was no point in making Reema understand anything until I stopped supporting her and running after her all the time.
Ravi persuaded me one day that I was not helping my daughter; instead, I was making a colossal mistake by sitting next to her while studying, and because of that, she was not getting serious. Plus , it could not continue when she went to the more significant class. So, I would have to encourage her to do homework independently and do the supervision job without her knowledge so that I could keep track of what she was doing and bring her back on track if she deviated somewhere in the middle. And in that way, she would learn to take responsibility and become independent. His idea sounded good to me and was important as well for her better future.