Chereads / Fear of the Egoistic / Chapter 6 - A blue mirror sticking to the eye.

Chapter 6 - A blue mirror sticking to the eye.

Aldrich placed his hands on her small, slender hands where Silvanna's bone was felt, then on his rough chest, which quickly swelled and contracted rapidly.

The drums of war began to be struck.

Lap-dup!

Lap-dup!

''Silvanna. ''

"Can you feel it?"

"Mmm." Silvanna made a small noise as she felt Aldrich's hand and chest. Even though her sense organs were greatly atrophied, she could still feel.

As Elfida looked at Aldrich and Silvanna, without knowing why she felt the dried tears begin to stir again. Although they looked very 'happy' but there was sadness in their eyes. A sadness that doesn't go away even when you smile.

Especially Aldrich.

She always saw him when she went to the hospital to visit Silvanna. He was here every day. Every time she saw Aldrich, she looked into his eyes.

He was so sad that she couldn't help looking at his eyes.

Aldrich would tell a story to Silvanna while silently watching the fading flower in the middle of the plain. Elfida lowered her head, afraid she wouldn't be able to bear to look at the fading flower. She felt her nose run, her face turn ugly, and her throat swollen.

Why was life so blurry today?

One of the rings Aldrich took out; He placed it in Silvanna's hand. Aldrich's knees, protected by blue trousers, touched the ground and he looked at Silvanna with the fire that burned his soul and hid in his eyes.

Silvanna caressed the cold metal in her hand. She knew what was going to happen. She knew Silvanna was moved by a slight flick of her eyebrow. A feeling that she had never felt in her dreams was enveloping and scorching her.

"One of the rings is my favorite color, blue. My name is written on the inside of the ring. The ring that symbolizes the ocean is yours. The other ring is white, which is your favorite color. Your name is written on the inside of the ring. This is it for me. It symbolizes the sky. "Aldrich felt the need to give a little information about the rings.

"Silvanna." Aldrich began to speak in a trembling voice. The art of oratory, which he worked for a long time, was like a sandcastle in front of his feelings. Instead of a confident voice, he spoke with a trembling and tearful voice.

" I did not bring flowers that smell fresh and are decorated with beautiful colors. You know, there's always a flower at the wedding. I don't remember ever seeing a wedding without flowers."

Elfida had only just realized this when Aldrich mentioned that he didn't bring flowers. Perhaps it was because of the absurdity of the situation that she had not paid attention to such fine details.

"I have not seen a bride getting married from her bed. Haha~" Aldrich made a small joke and then continued speaking quickly. He wasn't afraid that his joke would hurt Silvanna. They had passed through that phase a long time ago.

"I've thought about this a little bit. We go to sadness, grief, birth, and death with flowers. We send flowers to birth and death. We celebrate New Year's and our birthday like crazy. With flowers…"

"So I didn't want to bring flowers. I brought these olives instead. ''

Aldrich took something wrapped in a napkin from his pocket. After slowly peeling off the napkin, a rotten black olive and a green olive that looked vibrant and beautiful appeared.

"I brought two olives. One is a beautiful green olive. It should taste very good."

After saying that, Aldrich popped the green olive into his mouth and began to chew. Since he had not eaten anything since morning, his stomach was not happy with this little olive.

''The other olive is rotten. Olive with a black rennet and a foul odor.

Aldrich ate this olive, too. Although his features were crumpled, he chewed the olive thoroughly until he swallowed it.

Elfida and Silvanna could not understand Aldrich's strange behavior.

"Cough. Cough."

"Haha, it tastes like..."

After a few seconds' pause, Aldrich spoke with a heavy tone in his voice. The two people in the room might not know why he was doing this, but he did.

''Silvanna.''

''We are galloping to the days, like hammering a nail. We're going to the place that's waiting for us. We do not know whether to be grateful or rebel against our situation. If all life is a dream, shouldn't we wake up? Here we go, to an unknown land. We are swirling in a whirlpool...''

"I wanted a woman so I could rebuild the universe with her. Rather than creating a family, a house, we should have created the whole world together from scratch. But just as the weather has a feeling that drives a person into depression, there is a softness in happiness that is more seductive than a disaster. ''

"I saw you at work for the first time. From time to time you would raise your head and look at me with your beautiful eyes. A momentary smile would form on your lips, then you would bow your head. This look, this smile meant the world to me. All night long, I would wait for the mornings to see you and I couldn't sleep from excitement. ''

''I think about you. Everyday. ''

Extraordinary beauty prevents men with subtle sensitivities from finding a woman attractive. The extreme perfection of a face pushes us to objectify the owner of that face and stay away from it, to be able to watch it with pleasure as an aesthetic object.

"One day I gathered all my courage, I said to myself. 'Now I have to talk to the woman I love, Silvanna. I don't want to think anymore."

"I waited for the opportune moment and caught a tide where my heart was pushing me forward. ''

Silvanna remembered the words Aldrich had said that day. He said this to her as he continued to shake his body shyly and without looking into her eyes. She found it hilarious that an ordinary-looking man with a large build and heavy body should behave like this.

"I watch you every day. Come be my beloved. I said that back then. ''

Aldrich continued to speak.

"I felt it when you soul hugged me."

"Without you, life has no taste anymore. I feel this but ı don't know.''

"I wandered above the clouds for days and this melody poured from my lips. I screamed Silvanna with every breath I took. ''

"Silvanna."

''You didn't respond when I first proposed to you.''

"Let today be our happiest day."

''Will you marry me?''

The atmosphere was tense. Or Aldrich felt like that.

Strange.

From Silvanna's blind eyes, pearly eyedrops trickled down her pus-covered face. Then she started crying loudly. She cried with the loudest voice that could come out of her throat.

''Hich.'' (Crying sound effect.)

''Hich.'' (Crying sound effect.)

''Hich.'' (Crying sound effect.)

Memories with Aldrich came to her mind.

'They love even though they know they're going to burn...' Speaking in the past, Aldrich's confident voice struck all the strings in her heart and rattled.

Seeing Silvanna crying, Aldrich panicked even more. He didn't even know why he felt this way.

"My sunflower... Please marry me. ''

His heart started beating faster. This time it was because of thoughts and fear. It wasn't because of excitement and anticipation.

"Accept my selfish request."

Aldrich, who was not begging like Elfida, Aldrich sang with all his soul, with the strength of the whole cabin.

''Mmmm~''

Silvanna shook her head very slowly, clutching the ring tightly in her hand. She answered Aldrich in a hoarse voice. Although only her chin moved up and down slightly… Strange happiness filled Adlrich's heart.

Aldrich said somewhat loudly and cheerfully. "You want to be selfish too. Bahaha!"

The drums playing with the Lap-dup / Lap-dup rhythm inside Aldrich stopped.

Silvanna had said yes to his marriage proposal.

Silvanna had said yes to his marriage proposal!!!

True. She accepted.

Before Aldrich was thrown into society and Silvanna fell ill, he had never thought that he would propose in this way. It sounded a bit like the cliché advertisers love. I guess the cliché was like this because it was used when the target audience was women. He got down on his knees and made an offer.

Then he must have started to attack with joy, He was supposed to dance the haka...

All of the first missions on the list were complete. All items on the to-do list had a green mark on them, but the last one on the to-do list couldn't be called that.

Happiness, surprise, fear, excitement, shock... All kinds of emotions came and went. He looked like a human being with the raging waves of the ocean beating the shoreline. He had an explosion of emotions.

Aldrich laughed for the first time in a long time as his ugly lips touched Silvanna's cherry lips.

''I'm happy.''

Their lips did not part. That is, until the sound of applause.

''Congratulations. By the way, you must put the Aldrich ring on the bride's ring finger." Elfida's muffled voice interrupted their kiss. Elfida didn't want to talk too much, so she said a few words. Honestly, for Elifda, who is knowledgeable about TV series and some sources, this scene wouldn't even count as kissing. Only Aldrich had his face glued to Silvanna's pale face.

A slight shyness came over Aldrich's face when he heard Elfida's voice. Silvanna, on the other hand, did not have a facial expression that showed her emotions.

Ah, her face was paralyzed.

Things that I was angry about before, such as killing people or the injustice of innocent people, could not anger me now. [1]

I couldn't get excited.

I was estranged from concepts called emotions.

Sometimes I feel like I'm happy because I should be happy. But I always feel that something is trapped inside of me. It was as if my sorrows, hopes, waves of anger, disappointments, what I wanted to say were in a prisoner place.

I was silent now, I did not want to talk.

My expectations awaited me.

I always find myself in the same corner in the plain full of my thoughts.

Around the corner where I wait for the chance to change my world.

I want to think about how it would have been if it were different...

As I always do.

But I don't think anymore, I want to sleep.

Thinking is very tiring.

I had a nightmare last night, but I no longer felt tired.

Her former colleagues at work were in a state of panic inside the office. Everyone had papers with a lot of information in their hands, a phone stuck to their ears. They were shouting and looked worried. They were even more active than fish.

I was as calm as I should have been. So I was as calm as I shouldn't be in a nightmare.

Nightmares are nightmares, one should be restless no matter what the problem is.

The wind hit my face on the beach and I stopped. While people were running around in sweat, I tried to feel the wind.

I tried to feel alive, smiling.

When I woke up, I was not satisfied.

I wanted to see the wind, the sand on the beach, the seagulls, the sun...

Sleep was waiting for me, but someone was preventing me from sleeping.

He interrupted my sleep by saying that I will give you the greatest gift you can give.

He came again today. Aldrich, as different as the doubts in her heart, came here every day.

He was always in this coffin. There was no one but me here because this place was mine.

Although I had no clear idea of ​​what I looked like right now, I was sure I wasn't at my best.

I gripped the blue ring I was holding in my hand tighter.

Olive?

Haha, which groom brings olives to the bride instead of flowers? And he ate all the olives himself. Silvanna knew that these olives meant something, without Aldrich saying it.

Behind the strange color that covered my vision was Aldrich's voice.

"I'm happy," Aldrich told to me.

I can't say ... That.

Because I couldn't say I was happy. However, I was going to marry the person I had longed to be with for a long time.

Today must have been the happiest day.

But.

I still didn't say I was happy.

I'll probably never get a chance to say I'm happy in my life. I had countless reasons to be unhappy.

I pretended to be happy to hide my surprise from Aldrich. Maybe I was really happy. It was nothing but wiggling her facial features a little.

I do not know.

Could I not accept my unhappiness or Aldrich's happiness?

The feelings I try to hide; should have been revealed in my blind eyes.

Aldrich was a selfish man. That's what he was saying too.

Why was I feeling this way?

I do not want to sleep.

His selfishness had blinded him.

But that selfishness had allowed her to breathe until now.

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[1] Change of perspective. It's a bit sudden, but I thought it would be interesting to add the Silvanna character's thoughts to the story in this way.