This world is a perfectly normal, average, run-of-the-mill world. It's exactly what you would expect: there's some crime and instability, but otherwise, the human race continues to survive. There's absolutely nothing special about this world at all.
Except, there is one exception to the averageness.
There lives one man. The one man who keeps this world from becoming anything less than average.
This man is the Strongest Man.
The Strongest Man is someone who works tirelessly in the shadows to take down the world's worst people. It's believed that he is immortal, which makes him especially suited to fighting the worst of the worst. The combination of the extraordinary power produced by his fists and feet with the convenience of assumed immortality has led the world's worst villains to cower in fear at the thought of crossing paths with the legend of the night, as if he was a bedtime monster.
So who exactly is this all-powerful, impervious being?
*
As the door began to open, I began my usual script.
"Hey, it's Kakuyasu Pizza. This is the order for- GAH!"
I stood in shock as the door opened to reveal an overweight, hairy, middle-aged man.
If you're wondering how I determined that this man was hairy, it's pretty simple: he was butt-ass naked.
"Yes- oh, hey! It's my pizza! So what's the damage?"
"THE DAMAGE IS PERMANENT VISION LOSS! THE HELL YOU DOING, MAN?!"
The bulging sack of a man appeared to think about his response.
"Uh, I'm answering the door to claim my pizza? I thought it was obvious-"
I whipped my left arm out like a ninja and pointed towards the region of no return.
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, JACKASS!"
He glanced down to follow my finger point, then returned his eye line to meet mine. He placed his left hand on his shaggy, balding head and began to lightly laugh as he spoke.
"Oh, uh, I guess I was hoping for a young woman to deliver my pizza."
Crickets could be heard from miles away as behind my glasses, my light-gray eyes squinted so that only the black pupils were visible.
"I hope you realize this isn't 1972 Hollywood, dude."
"Oh, uh, is that so? Haha! Anyways, I'll just be taking my pizza now-"
The man had moved towards the pizza, which was in my right hand, but abruptly stopped. The both of us realized that something incomprehensible had occurred.
By the time I realized that I had not retraced my left finger, it was too late.
"WHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"
The sound of my scream echoed across the suburban landscape.
*
As I opened the bathroom door after vigorously scrubbing my hands, I was greeted by one of my female coworkers.
"Did someone really show up to the door with his thing out? Man, that's funny as hell."
"Yeah, laugh about it now, Icchan, until it happens to you. But then again, I'm sure you have some sort of kink with old fat guys."
"Totally not my type. You're probably going to mark the guy as 'do not deliver' anyways."
As I walked towards one of our POS terminals, Icchan followed closely behind.
"Actually, the guy gave me a hundred-dollar tip in exchange for us to continue delivering to him."
"So whatcha going to do at the register then?"
"I'm gonna mark him as a 'do not deliver' customer."
"Lying won't get you far in life, Oro-kun."
"I appreciate the life advice from a pizza delivery driver."
"I appreciate the appreciation."
Once I finished the note on the guy's information page, I saved it and turned towards Icchan. Strands of her straight black hair had escaped from the brim of her hat and were resting over her hazel eyes.
"If you're done being a pain-in-the-ass, do you wanna come over tomorrow? I got the new GTA game."
"Well, since you suck at gaming, how about watching some anime instead? I've been wanting to watch One-Punch Man."
My brow gave off a slight wrinkle as I thought about the irony of her suggestion.
"Fine then."
"Guess it's a-"
"It's not."
"Say what you will. I'll be there around Noon, Oro-kun!"
As she walked off, I pondered my relationship with Icchan.
Her full name is Ichiban Tomodachi. Age: 18, just like me. We've known each other since we were kids. She's my best friend, despite how much of an annoyance she could be. Sometimes, the words that come out of her mouth make me want to strangle her. To me, an only child, she's like a sibling I never had.
"Hey, Strong! You're next up! Your delivery is up!"
Right. I'll take this delivery. I'll take more deliveries after this one, too. I'll take deliveries until my shift is over. Once it's over, I'll leave for the night.
But I'm not leaving to go home. I have something else to do after this job. You could say it's a second job.
Just two more hours to go until this shift ends, and the next one begins.
*
As the moon cast its ominous light across the partly-cloudy night sky, light radiated from the windows of a small, secluded, boxy building in the middle of a forest.
Inside, as guards walked stood around the building, a bald man with a long, pointy beard stood over a table, smiling at the sight of his completed project.
"Finally, IT'S DONE! My life's work is done!"
"Uh, sir, you've only spent a few months-"
"QUIET, guard number 42! I'm the star here, which means I'm always factually correct! Don't question me!"
"But sir, I thought I was guard number 69?"
"Who cares which number I use for you? You should know I fumble numbers and words in order to make sure you guys are paying attention!"
"That is true, Mr. Star-"
"IT'S LORD STAR, NUMBER 57! GET IT RIGHT, NEWBIE!"
"Yes, Lord Star. My apologies."
"Anyways, we're ready to begin mass-production of this beautiful creation. Someone find the number of the contact from China?"
The guard standing adjacent to Star produced a look of confusion.
"With all due respect, Lord Star, have you check the contacts on your phone?"
Star turned and grabbed his shirt collar.
"Do I look like someone who keeps track of his own contacts? That's what I have a team for!"
"Oh- uh- my apologies, Lord Star. I'll go find that number for you."
"Good. We need to get production started ASAP!"
Star raised his arms into the air as he attempted to produce a monologue.
"Yes, it's finally complete. With this creation, I will take over the market, and I'll make millions! I won't have to search for money in the woods anymore! With all the money I'll make, I'll just sue anyone who questions my authority! YES, SOON, I'LL BE THE LORD OF EVERYONE IN THE WOR-"
"Sir, we have an issue."
"What is it now?! I'm in the middle of one of my self-centered rants-"
"Something is falling from the sky at a high rate of speed."
"Well, unless it's my career, I don't really ca-"
At that moment, something blasted through the roof like a dart popping a balloon. The intruding object slammed into the floor, hidden by a cloud of dust.
"Uh… Huh… GUARDS! WHAT IS THIS?"
"We're unsure, sir! It could be one of your haters!"
Star began exaggeratingly flailing his arms around the table before pointing both of his fingers at the intruding dustball.
"WHATEVER IT IS, MAKE SURE IT'S NOT ALIVE! FIRE AT IT!"
Near instantaneously, all of the guards in the area pulled their pistols out and opened fire on the cloud. All of the bullets seemed to disappear without audibly clashing into anything.
After a few seconds, the last shot was fired, and everyone held their breath. Star leaned forward from his table, running his fingers through his beard.
"Hmm… Whatever it was, if it was alive, it's probably dead now. In that case, YOU GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO YOU, NERD! THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH THE ONEEE AND ONLYYY LOOOORD STAR! SUCK IT AND ENJOY DEATH!"
"I'll make sure to do that when I actually die."
The dust cloud began to dissipate as shirtless, toned man appeared. As he wiped dust off of his brown, messy hair, he began a slow, stoic walk towards Star.
"I appreciate all the bullets, man. I haven't had a good deflection workout in a long time. Now, on to business-"
Star angrily shoved his left hand out with his palm open.
"STOP RIGHT THERE! TELL ME WHO THE HELL YOU ARE!"
As he stretched his neck, the intruder's gray eyes gleamed from the moonlight shining through the smashed ceiling.
"Who am I? People have a lot of names for me. But all you really need to know is…"
As he crack his right fist against his left palm, the newcomer in the building produced a grin of confidence and excitement.
"…I'm the last person you'll ever meet."
*
Yarinaoshi: The Strongest Man
I: Orokana Strong: Origin