As the moon declared its dominance in the night sky, a middle school-aged boy with messy black hair was strolling along an eery, deserted street while allowing his mind to drift off. As he made the trek, he reached into the small plastic bag he was transporting. His hand then reappeared with a rainbow-pattern lollipop.
'Allowance nights are awesome. Spending your allowance on junk food is where it's at.'
As he turned a street corner, he noticed a man with long hair approaching from the other direction. The boy raised his left hand as he prepared to pass the oncoming pedestrian.
"Hope you're having a great night, sir."
Just before the two completed the pass, the man abruptly stopped in his tracks. He shifted his attention down to the boy's right hand.
"Hey, what's that you've got?
The boy glanced at his hand, which was holding both the plastic bag and the lollipop that he had yet to unwrap.
"Oh, this? Uh… It's a lollipop."
The man gave his head the slightest turn, as if he was a dog who had just heard a strange sound.
"A lollipop, you say? Does it have a rainbow pattern?"
A look of concern briefly appeared on the boy's face before he began to walk again.
"Look man, I would give you the lollipop, but I only bought the o- AGH-"
The boy brought himself to an abrupt stop as he saw a hint of metal flash out in front of him. While breathing heavily, he slowly lowered his eyes to find the edge of a long, skinny knife resting against his neck.
He slowly and shakily shifted his eyes to his left, where he observed the long-haired man grinning as if he was possessed.
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to need you to hand over that lollipop. Also, while you're at it, give me the bag, too. Everything will turn out fine if you do what I ask."
The boy began to quiver as frantic thoughts raced through his head as if they were cars on a racetrack.
'What… What…. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!'
*
Yarinaoshi: The Strongest Man
VI: Candy Thief
*
"Dude, you're a GROWN-ASS MAN. Why can't you buy your own shit?"
To the boy, time seemed to slow to a snail's pace as he attempted to grasp the situation he had stumbled into.
"Well… I coooould go buy my own candy, but then… Well…"
"Well what? Most types of candy aren't that expensive, you know."
"Here's the thing… Candy isn't the same… if you buy it yourself. Do you get what I mean?"
"No, I don't. Something's gone wrong in your brain."
"Maybe so. But to me, the best way to enjoy candy is by sharing it with someone you love."
The pitter-patter of a mouse could be heard in the bushes as the scene grew awkwardly quiet. The boy's eyes then narrowed into thin slits of disgust.
"Dude, even if I bent that way, I like… 13. You're the literal representation of stranger danger-"
"You didn't let me finish. You're jumping to conclusions."
"Hey, I wasn't the one who said something weird, then followed my statement up with a moment of silence-"
"Anyways, it's true that the best way to enjoy candy is to share it with someone you love. But since there isn't anyone I love in this world, I have to enjoy candy in the second best way, which is…"
The long-haired stalker of the night snatched the lollipop and the bag out of the boy's hand.
"…to steal it from the weak."
The boy once again squinted his eyes into slits as he reacted to the man's declaration.
"So that's what you are, a candy thief? You travel the streets at night and hold people at knifepoint just to steal candy?"
"Do you have a problem with that?"
"Dude, get a job. You're a failure of a criminal."
The man's face turned white as the boy's insult clawed its way into his heart. Moments later, as color returned to his face, the man tightened his grip on the knife.
"You know, brat, even though I'm all about the candy, I don't really have a problem with killing you… You better pray that someone is going to come to the rescue."
As the man's temper began to flair, the boy decided that he had had enough of the situation.
"Alright, man, I'm leaving now. Good luck in life. I'll just remember to not go wack in the mind like you. See-"
The boy had backed off the knife and initiated a turn, but the man suddenly grabbed him by his shirt. He pulled the boy forward, then opened his palm to shove his victim down onto his back. As the boy allowed a shriek of pain to escape from his lips, the man began a rage-induced cackle.
"No one's… Gonna just try to leave… After telling me I'm a failure. You'll see… I'M GOING TO BECOME THE MOST NOTORIOUS CRIMINAL THERE IS!"
As the boy laid on his back, trembling with fear, The man's face turned into pure insanity as he raised his knife into a hacking position.
"Soon… Everyone will acknowledge me. It's true that the core of who I am is taking from others in order to fulfill my own desires. After all, I've built myself up to the level I'm at now by buying weapons with my welfare check."
As the boy realized he was on the verge of becoming the subject of an obituary, he began to beg for help in his thoughts.
'Someone, please help me.'
"But now, I'm ready. I'm ready to go to the next level."
'Someone…'
"I WILL MAKE MY PRESENCE KNOWN ACROSS THE WORLD!"
'Someone… PLEASE SAVE ME!'
"I'M GOING TO PLACE MYSELF ABOVE EVERYONE AND DECLARE ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT I AM THE CANDY THIEF-"
A flash of darkness darted across the boy's eyes, and all of the hairs on his arms stood up with trepidation.
Just as the candy-stealing professional bum declared his excessively creative villain name of 'The Candy Thief' to the captured boy, he was hit on his right cheek by a punch from another man that had seemingly appeared out of thin air. The force of the punch caused his face to ripple and deform like a car crumpling in a crash. Once his cheek had absorbed enough energy to reach its limit, his entire body left the ground and flew across the street and into the concrete wall that bordered the opposite sidewalk. The force of the impact was so extreme that the wall shattered as if it was glass.
As the silence of the night briefly returned in the immediate aftermath, the boy with the answered plea for help turned his attention to his unexpected hero.
"Who…"
As he focused on his rescuer, he noticed that it was just a younger guy wearing a t-shirt that advertised 'Kakuyasu Pizza'.
"Wait… HUH?!!! I know that superheroes don't exist or anything, but you're the most boring hero I've ever seen. Maybe you should put on a cape or something."
The uninspired, brunette savior turned his light gray gaze to the boy, greeting him with a stupefied gape.
"Oh, howdy! Didn't see you down there. I know my get-up right now is a bit of a letdown, but I wasn't planning on beating the shit out of any criminals tonight. My ears just picked up on the sound of an annoying blood-sucking mosquito when I passed by, so I followed the noise. My ears just so happened to lead me to this area. But, um… I'm not sure if he was a legit criminal, or if you guys were just playing a really stupid version of Cowboys and Indians. YOU HAVE MY DEEPEST, MOST SINCERE, TOTALLY LEGIT APOLOGIES IF I INTERRUPTED!"
Clouds of confusion formed around the boy's head as the apologetic hero bowed to a 90-degree angle.
"Uh, I don't really know how it's possible to not be sure that some random guy holding a knife over me is or isn't a criminal, but thanks for your help… Er… what can I call you?"
"WELL… If you'd like to know, member of Generation-whatever-letter-we're-on, my name is… STRONG…"
Disappointment descended on the boy's face.
"That's it?"
"Yes it is, young one! Sorry if I forgot to add the exclamation point. Now, if you would be so kind, TELL ME WHUUUT YOUR NAME IS!"
As Strong enthusiastically pointed at the questioned boy, a bead of sweat appeared on the questioned's forehead.
"Um, it's, uh, Jack. My name is Jack."
Strong paused for a few moments before issuing his response.
"That's it?"
"THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY 'THAT'S IT'? MY MOTHER PICKED OUT THAT NAME, YOU KNOW!"
"Well, just saying, of all the characters I've met in my young story, you have the most boring name of all-"
"HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, DUDE?! I SWEAR, I'M NEVER GOING OUT AT NIGHT AG- Huh?"
The sound of rustling interrupted Jack and Strong's conversation. Both of them turned their heads to witness the Candy Thief gingerly picking himself up off the ground.
"Uh, you- you seeing what I'm seeing, Strong?"
"Uh, yeah, Jack, I can see that."
"Ok, um- Well- I'm just going to-" stuttered Jack as he jumped off the ground and darted behind Strong.
The Candy Thief locked eyes with Strong, smiling as he wiped the corner of his bloodied mouth.
"Heh… Nice cheap shot… You bastard… But it's time… to fight for real. Show me what you've got, 'hero'."