Now that I think about it, maybe I overdid it on that guy. After all, he was just a chump looking for a job with a decent wage.
But, on the flip side, it looks like everyone else here is scared shitless now. Maybe that was the right move.
"Who's next?"
The slight sound of footsteps could be heard. Then they got louder. And louder. And louder.
Suddenly, all of the guards had dropped their guns and were running towards the exits.
"MOVE IT!"
"GET OUT OF HERE!"
"HE'S GONNA KILL US!"
Moments later, the building was cleared out, except for me and the now-fallen Gnome Boss. He visibly shook with fear as I turned towards him, placing my hands on my hips.
"Some guards you hired. I bet your pay was too low. I bet if you made your own game, you would've had better guards, and this might've been a completely different situation… Actually, it would for sure be a different situation, since I wouldn't have had to come out here to take you down… So, now I ask you, Gnome of the Winter Garden, any last words?"
The weakened Dumpster-Gnome shook and stuttered as he spoke.
"Wh- Wha- What- What are you- Are- Are you going-"
"Man, those were some great last words! Ok, now for the fun part. You saw me use my fist, but guess what? I'm not limited to the fist. As it turns out, my other appendages are full of extreme power, too."
I walked to the Master Gnome, standing directly over him as he dropped back onto the ground. I slowly raised my foot into the air.
"Anyone who rips off someone else's blood, sweat, and tears deserves the ultimate punishment. So, I hope you're ready, Gnome Star."
"BU- BUT- BUT WAIT! ALL I EVER DREAMED OF WAS SAYING TO MY FUTURE MILLIONS OF FANS WAS 'LET'S GET RIGHT-"
"Too late. Alright, it's time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!"
The banded, bearded, and defeated man closed his eyes, anticipating the worst.
However, the worst never happened. After waiting some time, he opened his eyes out of curiosity.
I was sitting next to him, with his ID in my right hand, and my phone in my left.
"Wait… You're not going to kill me?"
"What? Oh, nah, there's no reason to kill you. I guess you get a lucky break in life."
"Oh, uh, I don't… Wait… Why do you have my ID?"
"I'm selling all of your information on the internet. By this time next year, there should be about twenty Gnome Stars roaming around the country. Good luck paying all that tax and those credit card bills!"
The calm of the night outside the tattered building was interrupted by the screeching of a financially-ruined gnome-man.
"THAT'S WORSE THAN DYING!!!"
*
Yarinaoshi: The Strongest Man
III: Secret Double-Life
*
My peaceful dream of destroying all of the world's fake tech support call centers was interrupted by the incessant shaking of my shoulder.
"Oro-kun… Oro-kun… DUMBASS, WAKE UP!"
My eyes snapped open to find myself staring at a pair of annoying hazel eyes.
"Oh, it's you, Icchan… Why… are you… that close?"
"Dude, it's Noon. Why the hell are you still in bed?"
"Can't a man who makes pennies working as a delivery driver stay up till 3AM gaming?"
"Can't a man learn how to go to bed and get up at normal people times?"
"Hah, that's cute. Move so I can get- MPHF-"
By instinct, I had begun to shift my upper body into a sitting position. It's what anyone would do when waking up and preparing to get out of bed. But, on this morning, there was a problem.
Someone was in the wrong spot at the wrong time.
Before I knew it, my lips were locked with hers.
One thing that Icchan and I have in common is that we're both the reactionary types. Of course, this means that neither of us were willing to be the first to pull away.
After ten awkward seconds and feeling strands of Icchan's shoulder-length black hair land on my face, I decided to grow a pair and live up to my secret title of The Strongest Man. I detangled my lips from hers and pulled back to the corner of the bed.
"Whatcha trying to do, Icchan, marry me? The least you could do is set the mo-"
I abruptly stopped my words from leaving my mouth as I stared at Icchan. Her face had turned bright red, and her breathing had deepened.
After maintaining her position for a brief moment, Icchan snapped her head up, Flames were visible within her eyes.
"Wait, what are you gonna-"
Suddenly, a force full of precision and passion slammed into my left cheek. Spit flew out of my deformed mouth and my eyes whitened.
As I began to comprehend what had occurred, Icchan bolted from my room faster than a frightened cat.
"CURSE YOU, OROKANA STRONG!"
As I lowered myself back onto my pillow, all I could think about was the milestone moment that just occurred.
'Woah, so that's how my first kiss went.'
*
"I apologize, ma'am, but we don't make calzones here."
"Haeh? Whaddya mean, boy? You're a pizza store. You should be making calzones."
"Sorry about that. Can I offer you a discount on a pizza?"
"No, I want my calzone!"
"My apologies, but we don't have calzones here."
"Ok, I'll take a pizza then."
"Alright, would you like any toppings on that pizza?"
"Never mind, I want a calzone. Make me a calzone!"
The blood vessel in my forehead began to make its presence known as my temper began to flare.
"Ma'am… We do not make any calzones here. I'm sorry about that."
"Ok, ok, let me look at the menu then."
"Alright, take your time."
The fifty-something lady with graying hair carefully observed the menu on the counter for a few seconds. She then snapped her head back up.
"So what kind of calzones do you have here?"
Just before I could suggest to the lady what she could in her mouth as a substitute for a calzone, my manager arrived to relieve me of counter duty.
"Hey, Strong, go ahead and take the next delivery."
"Oh, uh, got it-"
"And also, while you're out, can you track down Tomodachi? It's not like her to skip a shift without notice."
I didn't show it physically, but my internal face showed a look of wariness.
"Yes, ma'am. I'll get on that."
As I packed the stack of pizzas into a hot bag, I began to plot on how I was going to approach Icchan.
All that was swimming around in my mind was one thought: I might actually die if I go to her house.
*
A person hidden under a dark hood entered the room, bringing with them some news.
"Sir, I have some news!"
At the opposite end of the room, a man with blonde hair was looking through the window. As the servant entered the room and declared their intent to share news, the man turned, revealing his electric-blue eyes.
"Yes, what is it? My dear faithful, you don't have to pause for suspense."
"Oh, um… Sorry sir! The news is that Star's base was raided and destroyed last night!"
The blue-eyed man's face appeared unbothered by the revelation.
"Oh, is that it? What a shame. It seems like the resources I provided ended up going to waste. I wish him well in his future endeavors. Is there anything else, faithful?"
The hidden servant gulped and shuffled his shoulders as he presented the next piece of news.
"Yes, sir. It seems that the object you've been looking for has been located."
The blonde-haired man snapped his entire body around, causing his dark cape to briefly fly up as if it was a skirt being caught by the wind. His face was now full of excitement.
"Oh, that's splendid news! If that's all news you have to present, then you can bring this message to all of the department leaders: a new mission has been established, and I will be leading it myself. Thank you for bringing this wonderful news to me, faithful, and go at once!"
The servant turned towards the doorway before briefly turning back.
"My pleasure, Otoko-sensei!"
After observing the servant dance their way into the hallway, Otoko dropped to his knees.
'Yes, this is it. This is what it all comes down to. It's time to claim the Orb.'
The man's brilliant blue eyes appeared to shine with anticipation.
'Once I have the Orb, the world will be mine.'