Days have passed since I learned that my parents have been poisoning me with wolfbane. I couldn't wrap my head around it.
How could they have done this to me? The ones who I am supposed to trust more than anyone else in the world betrayed me. Me, their own daughter. This nice little piece of news now has me questioning everything.
Were they trying to kill me? If so, then why go through all the trouble to keep me safe and away from the ones who wanted me dead?!
Why not just hand me over them instead of dying for me?
It's frustrating. My mind is a cluttered mess with endless questions and theories that only end up creating even more questions and theories.
"Wahh!" Star's cries brought me out of my thoughts.
I ran over to her crib. She looked up at me with her bottom lip poking out.
"Hey Star, you hungry? Is that why you're pouting?" I laughed at her pitifully sad face.
She was kinda cute, unlike the crazed witch from before.
I prepared a bottle for the little one waiting for Usynlig to return. She wanted to find out exactly what my mom was planning when she gave me the "medicine". She believes that there had to be a reason why they did it. She took the pills and went to go see a friend about them. Meanwhile, I have been practicing my form of magic. Which has been unsuccessful. Probably due to my emotions running high. Plus, it's kind of hard to meditate with a crying baby around.
"Star," I sighed, making sure to keep the baby bundled up warmly.
"Why does life have to be so hard, huh?" I fed her, holding her close.
"Finally!" Usynlig burst inside the cabin, making me almost drop the infant.
"Were you able to find your friend?" I rocked the frightened baby.
"Yes, but they were unhelpful. So far, all anyone knows about wolf's bane is that it's a deadly poison. When I mention how you have been taking it regularly like medicine, they all say the same thing, that you should've been dead by now." She picked up Star, making her giggle.
"I do have one last friend to see. I don't like to bother him too much, but this is urgent. He'll be able to tell the secret behind these pills. Because frankly, I'm surprised that you were able to bounce back from taking them so quickly."
"Are you going there now?" I sighed.
"Yes, we are." She peered over at me.
"No, thank you. I think I'll wallow in the back room with some books." I stood up, stretching.
"No, you will not. That is one thing I cannot allow you to do."
"Why do you want me to go?"
"Because, whatever I find out, whether it's good or bad, we will find it together. That way, we can handle it together." She burped the baby.
"Why are you trying so hard to prove my parents are innocent?"
"Because I know Maj-lis. She would never do anything without a reason."
"People change. Just look at Star. She was your friend, and look at what she did to the coven. My mom never even spoke of you to me. She barely even taught me magic." I scoffed.
"Though that may be true, the one thing I can tell you for certain is that your mother's love never changed. She wanted to make sure that you were taken care of, even after her passing. A mother who hated their child wouldn't go that far."
"If you say so." I lowered my voice.
"Now put your shoes on, and let's go hunting. We've got a gnome to track down." She grabbed a long cloth, using it to strap the baby onto her chest.
I was afraid of the answer we'd find. I don't think I could handle knowing that my parents wanted me dead.
While I slipped my boots on, staring at the little bag of herbs on the table.
"Do I still have to wear the sack of herbs?" I held up the pouch.
"Yes. We don't want anyone getting a whiff of your wolf scent."
"Whatever." I turned away, tucking the bag into my shirt.
"Lis-an" She brushed my hair out of my face.
"Don't lose faith now. Your journey has only just begun."
"I think we should head out before it gets too dark." I laced a small bag of essentials over my shoulders, heading to the door, ignoring Usynlig's worried look.
I waited outside by the firepit.
"Okay, let's go." She held a hand-drawn sigil on a small piece of bark.
"With the piece of the forest I ask of thee, take us to the man who ceases to be. When burnt and turned to ash, open the portal to the destination I mapped." She singed the edge of the bark over the fire, watching as it slowly became engulfed with flames.
She dropped it into the grass by our feet. She held Star closely, grabbing me by my shoulders. A light wind swirled around us, throwing up bits of leaves and dirt into the air. The increasing winds, creating a little whirlwind that circled us until it lit up with a soft blue glow. I covered my face to stop the dirt from going into my eyes.
A loud woosh swiftly brought the mini tornado to an end. I coughed roughly, trying to get rid of the dirt that coated my throat. I looked around, observing the birds that flew above the trees. They seemed unusually large. The light brown hue of the forest heavily constated against the dark trees back at Usynlig's cabin. Orange and yellow leaves covered the ground. Painting the dirt with vibrant colors, adding a majestic feel to the forest. For some reason, it felt as though the forest itself was alive, with each tree vibrating with life.
"That was probably the worst one yet. Being yanked through dimensions I can handle, but I'd rather not be pelted in the face with dirt next time." I dusted off my clothes.
"Sorry, but this is the only way to get here." She brushed off the dirt that littered her dress.
"Where are we anyway?"
"The is the Whispering Basin Grove. It's an ancient forest that has been around for a very long time." She looked up at the sky
"You mentioned earlier that your friend was a gnome."
"Yes, he is. A feisty one at that. Gnomes are essential to our world's system of being. They are earth elementals and guardians of the Watchtowers of the North."
"I used to hear mom call the Watchtowers at night to cast a protection spell. I never thought I'd be meet one in real life." I raised my brows.
"He's not the current guardian. That place belongs to the King of the Gnomes. Though they do contribute by leaving offerings for the King to encourage him and give thanks to him for his sacrifice, it's a job only the chosen one can do." Her face saddened a bit as she cradled Star.
"I thought no one was able to enter an ancient forest? They say if you try, you could go missing or end up dead."
"That is true. Gnomes are very protective of their space and will do what they must to keep the forest safe from intruders. Most of them even have protective barriers around them. He almost turned me into a bird a couple of times I turned up unannounced." She chuckled as she began walking through the trees.
"That barrier does make it hard to get here, but I have my ways. You see, he has been raising a tree for quite a while now. I have taken little pieces of the tree so, in cases of emergency, I can find him." She looked around the trees nearby, following a trail of pink dandelions.
Since I've stopped taking the pills, my werewolf abilities have increased. My eyesight is sharper, and my hearing has gotten a bit annoying. I feel like I can hear everything. Even in this quiet woodland area where there are no people present, is loud to me. It's as though the trees are continuously whispering, begging me to hear their stories.
I tried my best to focus on Usynlig's voice.
"When we get there, you may be surprised by his stature. Please do not mention it. He can be a bit spicy when it comes to his height."
"Got it." I picked up a stick, swinging it around at the leaves.
"Hey!" A man yelled out, making us jump.
I turned around, not seeing anyone.
"Who do you think you are coming in here like this?! And you dare to pick a stick in my forest!" A man about two feet tall, wearing clothes that blended in with the trees, stepped in front of me to snatch the stick from my hands.
I don't see why he's so angry. It was just a branch that was already on the ground.
"Does a barrier mean nothing to you people?!" He huffed, glaring at me.
"I tell you the audacity of you youngins. I oughta turn you into a toad right now." He raised the stick at me.
"No, no, please wait!" Usynlig stepped in front of me, putting her palms up.
"Oh, Jacintha! What the hell are you doing here, again?" He knitted his brows together, looking at Usynlig.
Jacintha? Could that be her real name?
"You brought this little halfling here too!" He crossed his arms, pointing his head at me.
"H-how did you know?" My eyes widened in fear.
"Oh, calm down halfling. You're kind is safe here." He brushed off my worried look.
"How did you get in here?" He crossed his arms, looking at her suspiciously.
"Well, you see," She scratched the back of her neck, smiling.
"And what is that?" He peeked at the baby with the branch.
"This is my baby."
"Nevermind that. What did you come here for this time?" He threw the broken branch up at a tree.
A golden-green glow levitated it up, fusing the branch to the tree effortlessly. Instantly, the dead branch sprouted green leaves.
"Himzavaick, I need your help."
"When don't you?" He shook his head, sucking his teeth.
"I know, but it is important. Please, just look at it." She knelt to him, pulling out my bracelet.
He grabbed the band, twisting it open to smell the inside.
"It is the medicine that was given to this child." She signaled at me.
"Jacintha, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that this is wolf's bane." He rolled his eyes.
"I know, but you are the only one who can tell the portrayal of the medicine."
"What do you mean by that?" I looked to Usynlig.
"He can see what purpose in which it was made with. Giving us some insight as to why your mother would do it." She stood up, lightly touching my arm.
"Follow me then." He sighed, walking into the rough brush.
We followed him closely as his small legs quickly trotted through the forest. He brought us to an underpass of trees that were bent over. Covering the passageway with a stunning array of reds, orange, and yellow leaves. Creating a tunnel-like structure around us. The way the fall colors blended with the brown of the dirt and trees was simply majestic, truly giving off an otherworldly aura.
The further we walked, the louder the whispers got. I tried covering my ears to stop the noise. The gnome stopped and peered back at me.
"You can hear them too?" He squinted his eyes at me.
"Hear what?" I uncovered my ears.
"The trees. It's not every day they meet someone new who can hear them. They do have a lot of stories to tell." He casually spoke.
"That whispering is coming from the trees? Usynlig, can you hear them too?"
She shook her head.
"Hm, guess I shouldn't be surprised since you are a halfling." He continued walking.
"What does that mean?" I scurried to walk next to him.
"Halflings are neither this nor that. They stand between the lines of what is considered acceptable and unacceptable, truly become the essence of existing in limbo." As he walked, a trail of pink dandelions budded behind him.
"This gives your kind an ability to interact with those unseen. Hence the noisy trees." He smacked the trunk of one.
"It's hard to understand what they are saying. They keep talking all at once. How do you handle it?" I rubbed my throbbing temples.
"You block it out."
"Yeah, but how?"
"I don't know, I just do it. I focus my mind on one thing and allow the background noise to become white noise." He shrugged.
"You make it sound simple." I sighed, rolling my shoulders back.
Right up ahead a ginormous tree appeared, expanding a good meter or two in width. Its branches brushed against the clouds as the tip disappeared in the mist above.
"How long did it take for it to get that big?" I started at the exquisite tree in wonderment.
"Longer than I care to explain." He grunted.
He just walked straight into the tree, vanishing behind the bark.
"How are we supposed to enter?" I stopped.
"It's just a hologram, you can walk through it." Usynlig pushed her hand into the bark.
She entered, holding my hand to lead me inside.
The inside was even better than the exterior. It was nicely carved out into a living space, with candles, doors, and a staircase going all the way up to the top.
The gnome guy sat at a desk in the corner of the room.
"Okay, let's see what we got here." He pulled out a small bowl from a drawer, mashing the pill inside it with a stone pestle until it became a powder.
We sat on a small chair in front of his working space.
There were vials filled with different colors of liquids on the table next to him. He grabbed a blue-colored one, pouring in only a few drops.
"What is that?"
"It's a potion containing the essence of color. Each color represents a truth or fact we want to see. With blue, it represents history because blue is the color of a calm and relaxed sky, and it is calm reflection that leads to truth." He sprinkled in a bit of dirt, causing the mixture to expel a luminescent mist.
I was drawn in by its glow as a scene played out.
I saw my mother dressed in all black as she picked wolf's bane with a cloth. She shoved it into a basket and quickly walked back to the house where my father and I waited.
"Honey, are you sure this is the way we want to go?" My father asked, carrying a tiny sleeping version of me.
"What other choice do we have?!" She pushed past him.
"There are other options, I know there are. But this, this could end up killing her." He held me close.
Usynlig gripped my hand.
"I know what I'm doing. I will make it less potent and dilute with an antidote and healing herbs. Athan, please trust me." She placed the items on a tray.
"Do you hate the idea of her being a wolf that bad?" My father's face withered with hurt.
"I don't." She kept her gaze down.
"Then why are you doing all this to stop her from activating her wolf instincts?!"
"Because I have to!" She teared up, causing an ache to slice into my chest.
"Why?!"
"Because I can't lose her!" She hit the counter hard.
"There is only a five percent chance she will survive her first transformation. Have you seen the horrid ways those other kids died?" She cried, hanging her head low.
"Maj-lis,"
"I have done some research and found ways for one to halt their transformation. If we can stop it, she can live." Mom wiped her eyes clean.
"But she could end up being that five percent that lives." He looked at her with big hopeful eyes.
"I can't put my faith in that. I'm sorry." She reached into a drawer pulling out gloves.
"What changed your mind? Not too long ago you were on board with the idea that she will be okay. That you could make her okay."
"You saw it too. When we met that other couple running away with their child, we thought we could learn from them." She sadly laughed.
"But when that boy transformed, I could hear his bones snapping apart as he screamed in pain. Blood poured out of every hole in his body, and we could do nothing but watch as his body deformed into a monstrous wolf-like creature." She sobbed against her wrist.
"Maj-lis"
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that." She shook her head.
"You shouldn't ask me too either." She sniffled.
Dad sighed deeply, looking towards the floor in defeat.
"What do we tell her?" My dad cradled my head.
"We'll just say that it's a pain medicine that she has to take every day in order to live a long and happy life."
"So every day, she will be in pain, feeling sick and weak?" Dad's eyes glistened.
"What else do you want from me, Athan?! Huh? Do you think this is what I want to do? Do you think I find pleasure in making our daughter sick?"
"There has to be another way. Last time you said you were working o0n a spell."
"It's no use. That kind of spell requires the blood of her father, and we can't do that." She sighed, leaning on both hands against the counter.
"Life can be cruel at times." Dad bitterly laughed.
"Yes, it can." She stood straight, tying up her hair.
"Must it be now?" He walked to her, holding her close to him.
"Yes. It's best to start early." Her voice cracked.
"Okay then." He kissed her temple.
"I will make the medicine out by the lake. I don't want you to be affected by the wolf's bane." She sniffled, placing the ingredients in a stone bowl before leaving.
The mist faded out.
I was at a loss for words.
"Lille-en?" Usynlig softly patted my back.
"What are you feeling?"
"Nothing. I'm fine." I tried wearing a smile.
"Fine." The gnome scoffed.
"You don't look like someone who's fine." He pointed to my face as he cleaned up the materials.
I touched my cheeks, feeling cool liquid leak down my face. I didn't even know I started crying.
"Himzavaick, thank you for doing this for us." She placed a large purple crystal with blue hallow tips on the table.
"No worries, so uh keep your hideous crystal." He pushed it back towards her.
"But payment?"
"Let's just say that when it's time, I'll ask you for a favor." He shrugged.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, so stay until that halfling over there settles down." He hopped off his seat.
"There's tea brewing in the pot, but don't drink it all, you big-mouthed freaks." He grunted, walking up the steps.
"Thank you Himy." Usynlig laughed at his anticts.
She went over to the stove, pouring tea into two cups.
"It was good news. So why the tears?" She settled the cup in front of me.
I shrugged.
"Lis-an, it's okay to feel what you're feeling. Just remember you are not alone in this." She took a sip.
I drank a little bit of mine, letting the warm fluid flow down my throat. I couldn't stop thinking about what I saw in the mist. I bit my lip to stop the tears.
"Talk to me." She gently spoke as though I would break if she spoke too loud.
"I-I just feel guilty." Tears formed in my eyes.
"For what?"
"For everything. I started to hate them because I thought they betrayed me! How could I do that do when they gave up everything for me? I hate myself for even doubting them. I can't believe I-" I cried my hands, feeling a pang of deeper guilt rear its ugly head.
"It's okay. Anyone in your shoes would have felt the same way." She embraced me.
"I feel like this is my fault." I sobbed.
"Hey, listen to me, none of this is your fault. You did not cause any of this." Usynlig pulled back to cup my cheeks.
"It is. It is." I couldn't control the tears. They just flowed right out of me like a dam in my eyes broke open.
"Lis-an, what makes you think that?"
"Because I wished that we were all dead."
I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it.