"Miss, which part of the garden do you want to visit first?"
"It doesn't matter, and Annie don't call me miss or my lady, I'm not your lady, what would happen if someone heard you."
Annie seemed hesitant to reply and turned her head to Amira as if she was asking for help. Serious Amira as always, gave a big sigh and spoke.
"Lady, we are appointed as your personal maids to serve, and that puts you on a higher level than us. Etiquette requires us to call you 'my lady' or 'miss' and should call us 'maids' for as long as we will stay together, I hope you have it clearer now that there is no problem with what we address you."
I don't understand one thing, Nasya is their lady and they choose to call someone else as such? From my point of view, it seems like a kind of betrayal or rebellion against their superior, but in a way it made me feel good that they were not afraid of me and also gave me some such comfort. I will be sorry if something bad happens to them and the cause is simply an empty etiquette that doesn't work for anyone.
As I thought before the garden needed radical arrangement, up close I could see some other flowers that I couldn't distinguish from afar and some others neglected hidden among others.
I have nothing more important to do so I can do something to fix things under the pretext that someone else will come here and see what the condition of the garden is, but as a start, I shouldn't act as I want, it would be better to ask why this place is in this state.
"Annie, Amira is someone in charge of taking care of this garden?"
"Em is Roan he takes care of this place and others as well."
"He is a gardener and sometimes does other work in the stables and small spaces that are required by Mr. Spencer as he finishes his job quickly and is good at what he does."
Is that so hmm.
Doubtful, this place doesn't look like it has been given any commitment, and also to do the job quickly doesn't mean that it will have quality. And while Spencer is involved in this, it makes the gardener a suspicious person from the things I know.
"I want to do something for this garden or whatever it is that I can do in this mansion, do I need to get permission from Roan or someone else, knowing that lady Corttes gave me permission?"
"Oh, my lady you can't do this, lady Corttes didn't say anything about it and also we can't allow the lady we serve to deal with such things!"
"I agree with Annie, you can't do something like that, this is not a behavior that a lady of house Corttes should have."
Well, this is their job they have to serve the lady, at least I know who is doing their job right? But their words bother me because I am not what they hope. I'm not a lady.
"You have to have something clear, I'm not a member of the Corttes family, I'm not lady Nasya.
"..."
"This is nothing, and here at least I'm doing something I like. You forgot where I was before I came here? I have been here for a few weeks and that's not enough to forget who I really am. I am a slave and it took me a lot of effort to escape the people who came after me to catch and to lock me up again in a dark cage, without bread or water. This is nothing compared to what I have done outside this mansion, and if you won't allow me then you should know that you are serving as maids to a Rapha and not a lady. "
They both seemed devastated probably because they knew I was not a simple child and were trying to erase it from their mind with all their might that I was. They treated me as someone equal to Nasyan and that made me question why they didn't ask me or talk to each other about the issue that I was not, and for me to show the opposite must have been a big blow to them.
"My lady we are sor .."
"Stop!"
"Sorry?!"
"Stop calling me 'my lady', I'm not your lady!"
"My la… umm I mean..then how we should call you?"
"Just like your real lady calls me."
They were looking at each other confused. Of course, they didn't know what to call me else, no one knows my name and I don't intend to tell anyone. And if they call me the same as Nasya then that would go against what they said before about etiquette and rank.
They remained silent, perhaps they were surprised by the immediate change in the way I spoke, because so far I was not so open about the matter, or perhaps they were confused about the name they would call me.
Sigh, I don't have time to deal with such conversations now, since we came to an agreement, in fact, I mostly vented my anger on them, let's start doing something for this place.
"I see you are confused, leave it…"
"My lady"
"Huh ?!"
"I know we were heartless when we told you not to do anything because you are a lady of the Corttes mansion now, for this we want to apologize, not to repeat once again we promise you!"
They seemed to be sorry for what they said, but more than that I was a little overwhelmed when I spoke to them in that way earlier.
They didn't do anything wrong, they just expressed their thoughts in the way they thought it was right. I am the one who should apologize and not them.
"It's all right, you did what you thought was right I will not hold a grudge against you for this don't worry, I just wanted something to be clear, and don't forget at least."
"Yes, we will be careful from now on."
"Okay I will start removing some of the grass first, then I will see what I will do next, you can go I know the way now to my room, you don't need to stay."
As a rule, the maids in charge of a person's service should be with them at all times for their every wish and leave when that person orders them to leave. They have nothing to do here, just watch me work, and because of what we discussed earlier they will not have any chance to talk to me during that time.
"Then my lady."
"What is it?"
"Can we call you Miss Raphe from now on?"
Annie. She had not spoken all this time so I thought she had left all the talking up to Amire, as usual, to take the lead when she didn't know what to say, but in fact, she was thinking of a name that would call me on her own?
She is a delightful one!
"You can do as you please, choose whatever makes you comfortable."
"Yes, miss I will think about it and tell you as soon as possible."
"Then we're leaving, we'll be waiting in the room, my lady."
"All right!"
The lady seems pleased with the turn of events. A little while ago when she was talking I could see that she had come out of the state she has been in all this time, a behavior worthy of a lady but her face didn't evoke emotion, simply put a poker face.
Sometimes I thought if she had something to tease her so much that she would react to her surrounding. Then I agreed with Annie that going out would make her feel freer because all she has done is follow closely the small demands of lady Corttes and after the game is over she stays locked up all day in the room reading in the window and looking out.
We knew that going out into the fresh air and contact with the environment that she could only see behind the window railings would have some impact on her, but it seemed like we had forgotten something and it made me think I had thought wrong during all this time.
That this little girl can live like anyone else in this world, but she does not call herself part of it. She seems to hate herself and tries not to have any kind of contact with others because she knows she will never be like them.
I also know how difficult the outside world is when you are alone with no one to support you and it is good not to show your emotions to anyone because you don't know what can happen next, betrayal, heartbreak everything, but I really hope that one day we will have the opportunity to see her accept herself and smile with all her heart because I never had the opportunity myself.