As I run blindly, into the rain, barely seeing anything and the wind crashing into me and sweeping my hair more into my eyes.
I'm wondering how naive I really am.
Never knowing how love felt like back in my old world except from Hal abeoji, and coming here and still being so stupid.
My heart keeps making some cracking noises, and I'm not sure how I'm even still moving because tears just keep running down my eyes and my body is tired.
But my legs don't stop running.
The whole street is quiet and no one is out.
Just me, which makes me even more scared, but I don't stop.
Finally, I see a store and enter it, not shutting the door as lightning strikes somewhere before i sit on the ground, cradling myself and sobbing.
It hurts.
It hurts so much.
I remember his smile, I remember his touch.
He called me beloved, didn't he?
He even... Laughed, with me?
Or was he just...
I don't understand!
How could he.....
The scene replays in my head again, me happily walking to his room, already blushing, already so happy that everything seemed to feel right before sliding the door open and finding him, with her.
Again.
This time, he's saying the same things he told me to her.
'You taste like apples'
'.... Touch me instead'
He told me to come!
Was that... Why?
But... What did I do to deserve that?
What did I.....
I suddenly see a tall shadow infront of me as I look up, gasping before I see the eyes "What are you doing here? You can't take me back! I'm not going anywhere with you!"
He just keeps staring at me as I feel my lips shaking, more tears threatening to come out as I keep rambling "You can't force me back there! You're free! Just go! Leave me alone! Please...."
I crumble there, looking down as I cry harder before I see him crouch down and I look at him.
He brings out a lace pink handkerchief, the scent of flowers wafting through my nose as he moves it to my face "Stay still"
I move away "I don't want you using any thing that belongs to a Lover of yours on my face. It is something that you shouldn't be shared"
"It is my Mother's. She gave it to me before she passed away"
Oh.
"Come closer"
I do so, shifting to him as I still see the visible frown on his face while he cleans the tears on mine "This is a very dangerous neighborhood Master. I can't imagine what they would to someone as fragile as you"
"Fragile?" I ask "Did the punch not hurt?"
"It did, unfortunately" He says "One reason now I address you as Master, but all things considered, you're not a fighter or a killer"
"And you?" I ask "Which one are you?"
"I am whatever I need to be when my Master's life is in danger"
When he stops cleaning my face, I realize he's shirtless, the scars still visible even in the darkness as I say "Why are you here without a cloth? Is this because you were following me?"
"I did leave to go on a walk, you passed me by while you were running but I doubted you noticed me so I followed you" He replies "You're surprisingly fast for a little thing"
I frown "There's nothing little about me"
"I would not be so sure"
I raise my eyebrows there at the words he used before he says "What happened? Another tantrum?"
"It doesn't matter" I say, moving away "I'm just not returning back there, and you can't force me"
He stares at me for a while then sighs, turning and resting on the wall I was on as he sits next to me "So where would we go?"
I turn to him there "We?"
"Yes. We"
"No. You're returning to your real Master, the Prince"
His eyes glows there "He's not my Master, you are"
"He hired you to guard me so he is technically your...."
"He did not hire me" He cuts in "I owe him and when he asked what way I would like to pay my debt, I chose serving you"
Wait...
What?
"I don't understand" I say "What debt?"
He sighs, looking down "I am not from around here. I am a foreigner. My name, Byul, was given to me by an old woman who is now late the first day I came here"
"Then you are?"
"... Chinese. My name is Qua Ling Fang"
...
"I was a mercenary... In China. I killed for money and though I do not regret it because the people that died deserved it, I sometimes feel sad about it. Some years ago, I was given an assignment to kill Sun Chan Yeol. Somehow, he was already aware and had my sister in custody as some sort of... Reassurance, she was ten then. I still am not sure how he found her, because I had cut off all ties with my parents immediately I began my killings so as to keep them out of arms way but he found out, and he had said that he would keep her in his court, safe, if I would serve him.
Of course, I refused, she was too young. I asked he let her go and he killed me but he would not listen. After I refused again, he decided that he'd let me go and keep her instaed, saying if I needed a job, I should come back to him. I swore not to but the man who sent me to kill him began hunting me down so I had to flee and come here.... But here, people are afraid of my face and my looks so they avoided me. Only the old woman took me in, until she passed away... I had nothing else to do except go back to the man, hoping maybe I'd see my sister and beg her forgiveness at least"
How could Chan Yeol....
Byul turns to me "I chose serving you, than him, and I do not regret this either. If you want to leave, then we shall"
"But your sister...."
His eyes fall there "I... She's not there, I have searched all the maids and asked, but no one knows her. I doubt he kept his promise and kept her safe. He is a very bad person. I wonder what you saw in him"
Bad person....
I remember his moans as he gripped her hair, my body suddenly shivering as I shut my eyes close and wrap my hands around my body.
I want it to stop.
I want...
"Master, are you cold?!"
Before I can reply, he's suddenly hugging me, his huge body covering mine as he says to me "I'm sorry that I cannot treat you better"
I stay like that, his warmth and smell calming me before I hug him back, sobbing more on his shoulders.
He does not let go.
When I quieten down and pull away, I hear myself saying "We can't leave"
"Master, if we go back...."
"I won't let him hurt you" I say to him "But... But he might hurt Hwang... Or worse, my parents and... And we need to know what happened to your sister, to be sure"
"Then I'd go get Hwang, and your parents, we could..."
I smile, touching his cheeks "I am sorry Byul, but we cannot leave here without knowing the truth about her first"
"He could double the guard security! He could prevent you from leaving again! I know he hurts you! I hear the servants say it! Why do you want to go back? My sister could be dead"
I sigh "Let's hope she's not then, besides I owe you this. Please, let me know before leaving"
And let me know if anything that happened today meant anything to him too.