Diandra stared at the chocolate in her hands blankly. Her heart and mind stirred. Repeatedly, she took a deep breath. Diandra was confused, she did not know to follow her heart or logic.
"So, how is it?"
While the man beside Diandra looked at the girl expectantly. His name is Rafa. This is the second time Rafa has expressed his feelings for Diandra. Rafa hoped that this time Diandra would accept it after the girl's outright rejection.
Diandra smiled wryly. A piece of sad memory from the past filled his head again. Feeling depressed, Diandra ventured to look at Rafa's shady eyes.
"I can't," Diandra said while biting her lower lip.
The second time Rafa swallowed the pill of disappointment. Rafa though, Diandra would accept him after the struggle he did to the girl. But in fact no, the girl did not want to accept it.
"Can't anymore?" Rafa asked disappointed.
"You know why I don't want to date. Not just you, but all the guys who try to get close to me." Diandra tried to explain so that Rafa would not be disappointed. Diandra also doesn't want to be like this, it's just that the traumatized she felt in the past is still very imprinted.
"No other reason?" Rafa asked annoyed. Rafa was tired of hearing Diandra's defense. "Just tell me that you don't like me. Because I'm ugly or because I'm not your type. There's no need to use excuses if you're traumatized and you've been hurt."
"Raf!" said Diandra. She doesn't like being accused like this. "Honestly, I'm comfortable around you. But I still can't start a new relationship with new people again."
"That's just your excuse so you don't look wrong. You're just saying that you've been hurt before, without you thinking that every guy is different. Your ex has hurt you, but I promise I won't hurt you. Or did you not have one from the start. I feel the same way." Rafa got emotional. He has had feelings for Diandra for two years and it is only in the last few months that he dared to approach the girl. Once rejected but Rafa kept fighting. But unfortunately, the long wait and Rafa's struggle were meaningless. Diandra could not accept it.
Diandra shook her head, could not believe that Rafa could say such a thing. It wasn't just the shadow of the past that made him unable to accept Rafa, but there was another reason. The reason that made Diandra stick to her stance even though she was starting to get interested and open her heart to Rafa.
"Do you really think a guy says he's going to hurt a girl? Nope, Raf. But without the guy realizing he's done something that hurt the girl. Do you think I'll be touched and believe it right away if you say it won't hurt me? I'm not a kid anymore who immediately likes or likes to hear clichés like that!" Diandra put the chocolate beside him and stood up. She looked at Rafa with a look of disappointment. "I've just been hurt. Luna probably already told you, right? I'm like this because I don't want to make the wrong choice again, Raf. I just broke up a few months ago, it's too soon for me to start a new relationship again. I don't want to make you an outlet."
Rafa looked up at Diandra who was taller than him. Even though he didn't hear directly from Diandra, Rafa knew how hurt Diandra was. Luna, Diandra's best friend, has told Rafa everything. And because of that story, Rafa wanted to protect Diandra. Rafa wants Diandra to be happy in her way. Replace the sadness she once felt with happiness.
"I'm comfortable with you, Raf. But for dating, I can't. Sorry."
Diandra turned around, about to walk away from Rafa. It's all enough. The wound in his heart has not healed, there is no way she can start a new relationship with Rafa when his dark past cannot be completely forgotten. After all, there is a strong reason that Diandra cannot accept Rafa's love. However, Rafa's words intruded Diandra not to take a step.
"You don't want to open your heart to me?" Rafa asked for the umpteenth time.
Diandra took a deep breath and turned to look at Rafa. With a forced smile, Diandra replied, "We'd better be friends or just be friends. Like Luna and Diva who are also your friends."
Then Diandra left Rafa who was now only able to stare at the back of the girl who was getting further and further away. Rafa clenched his fists. It is not easy to get rid of the feelings of love that he has hidden and cultivated for the past two years. And again, Diandra's refusal this time will not be able to make Rafa give up. Rafa will continue to fight for Diandra until the girl is willing to accept and return her love.
"But you are different from Luna and Diva, Ra. You are special."