"Vibkey dib whub??" Vicky started a revolution? What the hell did Maria mean by that? And why the hell did they cancel school early?
"This morning was another plain day of class, same as everyday," Maria chuckled ruefully. "Once again, we all had to go to homeroom, where they announced Brock had escaped, causing several of the jocks and outlaws to cheer for him. Except for that little bit of excitement, all was normal…
"Until lunch that is," Maria laughed knowingly.
"You know the school has a hand's off policy with regard to student matters, right?"
"Yeb," I agreed, nodding my head lightly. It's the same policy that put Vicky in charge of the field trip, rather than Mr. Thompson.
"Well it bit them in the ass this time," Maria laughed aloud. "Right in the middle of lunch, Vicky climbed up onto the center of one of the cafeteria tables, and she yelled for everybody's attention.
"She started with something like, *I'M SICK AND DAMN TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING AFRAID!!*, and the whole cafeteria shut up to stare at her. Vicky doesn't yell. Vicky doesn't cuss. Vicky is little miss perfect at the school, and nobody could believe she'd act like that!
"But that was just the beginning," Maria smirked happily, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "She blamed the jocks for promoting hate and intolerance, belittling their manhood for cheering for Brock's escape. *IT'S A DAMN FELON, WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER, AND YOU DUMB ASSES CHEER FOR HIS ESCAPE?! FUCK YOU!!*
"And I'm not kidding either," Maria laughed, smiling brightly at the memory. "She literally told them, *FUCK YOU*. Hell, she screamed it at the top of her lungs!
"Yanking out some old gray one-piece dress, Vicky slid it over her head and shoulders, and then reached underneath it to yank down her cheerleading skirt. Throwing it at the cheerleading coach, that's when she went on her rant about quitting. Her morals wouldn't let her support such a system that would give power to the rise of such hateful misogynistic, racist, sexist, homophobic, bullying, shit-faced assholes!
"She squirmed out of that cheerleading top and tossed it out to the crowd — don't worry, nobody could see her actual body as she did it from under that gray dress," Maria assured me, seeing my wide-eyed expression. "And then after that she kicked her cheer shoes for a loop, tugged down her spats, and tossed them out to the crowd as well. *I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GOING TO HAVE ANYONE THINK I REPRESENT A SYSTEM LIKE THAT! I WANT NO PART OF IT!!*
"The teachers tried to step in at that point, but it was already too late. The students had formed a mass around the tables and they wouldn't move for anything. Vicky had hooked them, but Amber threw the final coal on the fire when she stripped off her cheerleader uniform and joined Vicky in nothing but her sports bra and granny panties!
"It may not have led to a complete revolution at that point," Maria sighed, leaning back and contemplating for a few moments. "Problem was, Vicky wasn't done yet. It was at that point that she started in on being tired of being sexualized, having to live up to unrealistic body standards, and all the jackasses who put such pressure on everyone else.
"*FUCK ALL OF YOU*, Vicky screamed at them. *HOW I LOOK DOESN'T DEFINE WHO I AM!* At that point, she tore off the wig she was wearing and tossed it. Man, I wish you could've been there to hear the gasp of silence that filled the cafeteria," Maria told me wistfully. "Unfortunately, it only lasted for a moment cause everyone went apeshit crazy cheering for her after that!
"Vicky pointed out students who got picked on all the time, and defended them. *WHO GIVES A SHIT IF JOEY'S GLASSES ARE THICK? ONLY A JACKASS MAKES FUN OF FOLKS STRUGGLING WITH A DISABILITY! WHO CARES IF MOLLY HAS A SLIGHT ISSUE WITH HER WEIGHT? SHE'S GOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HEART HERE!!*
"And, it was at that point when things escalated further," Maria sighed helplessly, "when some dumb ass yelled out, *FAT COW*. I don't know who the tiny little mouse girl was standing beside that big brute, but she spun around so fast and sucker-punched him right in the gonads so hard, I wouldn't be surprised to find out he became he no-nads. I mean," Maria snapped her fingers quickly, "he went down like that, puking and pissing everywhere!
"And the real finisher to the whole thing, was when Vicky wormed her bra out from under her dress. *MY GRANDMOTHER BURNT HER BRA FOR WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND EQUALITY YEARS AGO!* Tossing it for a loop, she yanked her panties out from under that dress and proclaimed, *WELL HERE'S MY DAMN BLOOMERS! BURN THEM FOR EQUALITY FOR ALL!*
"When she tossed them, everybody cheered so hard, I thought the roof was going to break down on us. Henry — that greaser boy with the black leathers who looks like he's part of a biker gang… Know him?" Maria asked, raising an eyebrow as she stared at me questioningly.
"Yeah," I nodded, dabbing at my nose which had almost stopped bleeding by this point.
"Well he dropped his drawers and yanked off his boxers too. *YOU CAN BURN MY DAMN BLOOMERS FOR THAT TOO!* Hell, the moment he did that, the floodgates finally broke open. The rest of the greasers were yanking down their pants and tossing shorts everywhere. Apparently not to be outdone, since their queen bee had started the whole thing, half the cheer team started doing the same thing!
"There was boobs and butts, balls and wangs springing out from every direction after that. The school tried to go into lockdown at that point, but how the hell do you lockdown a whole student revolution?
"The cops showed up. And then the firetrucks. There was talk of arresting people, but then Vicky's mom showed up with half a dozen lawyers and reporters, threatening to sue the shit out of anyone who'd dare arrest students for engaging in their peaceful rights to protest as protected by the First Amendment.
"Old man Wylks — the grumpy assed guy who teaches history — came waltzing out with nothing but the American flag from his classroom draped around his waist, yelling about fighting in some war and he was still damn proud to hear freedom ring! A few moments later, Mrs. Wilma — you might not know her, but she's the head librarian — came out in nothing but her sandals and sat down in silent protest, her granny titties almost dragging the ground!
"Apparently, they're married," Maria added as an afterthought, shrugging. "Who knew? After that, parents were called in. I think almost all the cheerleaders shaved their heads in the Home Ec classroom. More media showed up. People were dancing and singing. The whole band got involved somehow.
"There was so damn much going on," Maria sighed wondrously, shaking her head slightly from side to side. "It was almost impossible to focus on any one thing in particular. I guess," Maria mused thoughtfully, "the thing that stands out the most to me was Vicky. It was like she was everywhere, reminding people that it was fine to protest, but not to be violent or destructive.
"Her and the student council, with the help of the cheer-streakers and the bottomless-greasers, kept everyone from destroying school property, or setting fires, or fighting to get retaliation, or any of that stuff. They got loud. They got visual. They made certain they were damn heard — but they did it all without resorting to violence to get their point across.
"All-in-all," Maria admitted freely, "I'm damned impressed."
Last night, Vicky had admitted to me in private that all the pressures to be perfect and act perfect had always weighed heavily on her. I guess since I'd shaved her, stripped away her status as a cheerleader, and enslaved her, I must've created a crack in that massive wall of expectations. When she climbed up on that table, *all* those repressed worries and issues just exploded out of her all at once, and dragged the whole school into her pace.
I think, I might've created a monster!