After everything Stefan had been through in the last few days, even the air on his face felt numb and distant. He was exhausted and indifferent to everything around him.
In that one moment, Stefan felt his heart shattered. Few months passes by, Sara had been avoiding his calls and text messages.
He does not wish to add any burden towards Sara so he respects her decision though he misses Hanie so much and he could only depend on Dylan to pass a message or any groceries items he had brought for Sara.
That particular morning, he was slumped down on his office leather armchair, not feeling like doing anything. Even when his office air-conditioned blasted off, he's not freezing at all. He's restless.
Suddenly he heard a footstep of squeaking, baby shoes sound roaming outside his office. He quickly gets up to inspect as to where is that sound coming from.
Before he could reach the door knob, someone opens the door from outside without knocking then his baby girl dash in, run towards him and launches herself into his arms for a hug. "Daddy!"
Little tears drenched his cheek as he uttered a silent but desperate prayer and 'Thank You' to God for listening to his wishes. He misses his girl so much.
Sara had allowed Dylan to bring along Hanie to Stefan's working place. "Here's Hanie backpack. All her stuffs are inside. Milk powders, pull-ups diapers. Sara said Hanie keep whining every day for you. So, Hanie will be stayed with you for a week." Dylan says as he placed Hanie's pink backpack on Stefan's desks.
"One more thing. I've already explained to Sara about Tiffany and that you already gave her a warning, but Sara didn't say much. Stefan, I expect you to do something please. Sara, she looks so tired as if like she's giving up on everything."
"Dylan, I'm feeling rough right now and I'm trying to make things right, but did you see her behavior? It's turning me off."
"Right. You are not the only one who is suffering. Sara also having a really hard time coping all by herself and the issues with Tiffany. I seriously dislike mentioning her name. She doesn't have the right to lay a finger on Sara. I'm disappointed with you, really. You both once love each other, somehow please try talk to Sara. Hanie needs both her mummy and daddy."
"Daddy.. mama always cries.. But Hanie no naughty! Also, mama say I can sleep with you, but mama cannot." Hanie being a good girl out of sudden interrupted the conversation between her daddy and uncle Dylan.
"Are you sure, baby?" Stefan asked staring at his baby girl on his lap with a shock face but the girl squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. Stefan never experienced this feeling of regret, for wrongs he's never had the chance to correct it and mistakes that he's not sure will be forgiven for.
For as long as he remembers, he divorced her while she is pregnant with his child. Also, he chased her out from their apartment that night without even thinking of her safety.
Right now, at this moment, looking at his own adorable child on his arms, the one that he abandoned when the child is not even born yet, what right does he has over this girl?
#
Hanie had somehow roped her daddy into having a tea party with her. "Daddy. You never drink your tea?" She pointed at the empty plastic cup.
Stefan smiled. "Sorry baby girl." He said as he lifted the cup to his lips and pretended to take a long sip. Hanie shook her head furiously. "It's really hot daddy!" She exclaimed dramatically. "Mama always blow first."
Then suddenly she looked up at him with large amber eyes filled with hurt. "Daddy, can Hanie stay with you?" She said sadly. One look at her babyface and Stefan couldn't even think of doing anything but spend time with his only girl. Nothing else mattered.
A week passed. He places his daughter down on his queen-size bed. He stepped back and just watching his child sleep. He took a deep breath in, feeling the happiest he had ever felt in his entire life. "She's my daughter, my precious child."
He doesn't expect forgiveness from Sara. He just wanted Sara to know that he is sincerely sorry. It's the one thing in his life that he is supposed to love, protect and value someone above all else. This time he'll try his very best to make sure he never loses sight of what's important again.
#
The next day he drove back his girl to Sara's neighborhood which has only one road way in and way out. When the lift stops at fifth floor, the door open and revealing Sara already waiting outside her main gate. Hanie quickly jogged to her mummy and made grabby hands with eagerness and Stefan just watches with adoration when Sara picks up her giggling daughter.
They didn't speak but just gazed into each other's eyes. Sara had to look away from the intensely personal moment. "You can leave. We're fine. Thank you for taking good care of Hanie." Sara speaks shyly soft finally and looking elsewhere trying to avoid eye contact.
Stefan felt his heart dropped. So, it was true. Sara was done with him. Feeling sick, he said, "I'd like a chance to explained. Can you find it in your heart to at least give me that? I know I don't deserve it, but please, Sara. Can't we talk?"
After thinking for a few seconds, "Okay. come inside, make yourself at home, but I'm sorry it's a bit cramped." Sara obviously was hesitating but of course sometimes Stefan can never read her thoughts. Sara releases Hanie down in the living room and told her to go her bedroom for a moment and the girl did so obediently.
Sara turns her body to face Stefan but before she could say a word back, she was caught when Stefan grabbed her nape gently and pulled her closer so he may kiss her on the lips.
He kissed Sara lips all the way to her collarbone. Sara did not refuse the sudden kisses and all she did was shut her eyes and wait for it to be over. When Stefan was finally done, he back off and suddenly Sara's knees gave out and she slid down to the floor.
She put her palms over her mouth to stifle her cries with eyes tightly shut as memories of their past came flooding back.
"Sara. Oh my God." Stefan knelt down to his level briefly allowing himself to appreciating the beauty of Sara's eyes, those eyes that he'd thought he'd never see again, letting his gaze drag down slightly to his cheekbones and then he fell to the side because Sara had pushed him.
"Sara, I'm sorry. Please, I am sorry." For a moment they're both frozen like that, silent. A wave of emotion passed over Sara's face and washed away the anger and frustration when Stefan repeatedly pleading for forgiveness. "Please."
Stefan's eyes were brimming with tears as he holds back, thinking of something else to say. "Sara, please I begged you, forgive me for what I've done to you."
"Stop it, please! I'm tired of crying. Fine, I forgive you but please remember I still hate you, Stefan Smith." Sara said, looking away.
It hurts. It hurts so much. Those burning words, repeating over and over again. It's okay though. No matter how much Sara hates him, he will always and never stops proving his love. Perhaps it may be too late but he's willing to go for it. "I have nothing to say, but I realized it now. I love you, Sara." Stefan's voice slightly shaking. Pain. This must be how Sara feels years ago, when he pushed her away.
Forgiveness is perhaps the hardest thing anyone can do, because the things that truly need forgiving are usually those that hurt the deepest. Then again, has the offender really earned forgiveness? So as not to complicated things further, should Sara forgive Stefan?
#
Stefan was only a minute away from his apartment. Driving on another bend in the road, when suddenly another car came around the corner. The other car was half in his lane. He tried his best not to panic. He attempted to slow down his car and turned his wheel sharply to the right to dodge the other car. However there just wasn't enough time. A loud noisy crash occurs, he felt a lot of excruciating pain, and then he sees darkness