"This is where-" Felixa swallowed her words.
She was about to talk about the kiss but she remembered the kiss from the morning. It made her heart race and she bowed her head.
And it was Wispy's memory from the past. Does she have a right to talk about it?
"You never thought about that day?"
Felixa gasped as she heard his voice closer to her. She couldn't figure out how he walks this fast.
"No…" She looked up. She wanted to avert her eyes seeing those amber orbs that were filled with expectation, and pain.
She didn't like feeling this way around him when she shouldn't be. She needs to be strong and assertive. She was a warrior who faced the battlefield. Even though he is called The Brute, she doesn't have to be this docile around him.
[Or should she? Isn't this how Wispy acts?]
And the feeling she has around him is not fear but…
[Let's not think about it now.]
She thought that he'd get mad but he chuckled. His lips were curved up and those pretty dimples on his cheek made its appearance, but his eyes - they looked sad.
And she said nothing. She didn't lie anyway. Wispy and she, are the same – at least for now.
But without her acknowledgment, her hand reached for his hand.
Seeing the pain in his eyes, she felt a shattering pain in her heart. She couldn't handle the strong feelings she gets anymore. And the uncertainty surrounding her…
[Are those feelings genuinely mine? Or Wispy's?]
But she decided to embrace them as hers anyway.
Before her slender fingers could clasp on his thick calloused hand, he turned, making something tear in her soul.
Rubbing his hand on his chest, Maximus walked away.
[No… Please don't be sad… Don't walk away…]
Felixa couldn't move because of the pain in her heart as he walked away from her.
Standing by the carrot patch, he looked down as she observed him. His eyes were clouded with disappointment and despair. And he stared at the little green leaves blankly.
"You must be angry," he mumbled. "Or did you change..?"
His voice was gentle as the ruffle of the reeds by the river. It reached her ears, carried by the gentle breeze making a thunderstorm brew in her heart.
Her heart bubbled with an intense feeling as she started to sink into her deep conscience. And she didn't even have the strength to struggle.
"Rose…" that figure standing by the sycamore tree reached out his hands at her. "Will you change?" he asked.
Hair dark as a raven, eyes the color of gold that shone with determination to pursue his quest, and a strong, calloused hand of a warrior.
The image of the man in front of her clad in armor as a warrior was so familiar. His gentle voice was peculiar to him as he called her with the name of a beautiful flower- the flower that had thorns to protect itself; the flower that would cry fragrance when it gets squashed; and the flower that invoked the poet inside many a man.
She never asked him why he called her that. But as long as she knew him, that's what he called her. And she loved it.
[Luke…]
She felt the coldness in his hand as his fingertips grazed on her cheek. Her heart pounded and her lips trembled. Her eyes clouded looking at those amber eyes that reflected her image. For a moment, she felt exhilarated that she is the only one in his eyes.
[Am I in his heart too?]
"No, I am not going to," She said and wanted to take a step closer to him and hold him. She wanted to see how it feels to be in his arms.
But there came noises of some men.
"Shhh…" he shushed her creating a wider distance between them and her heart filled with pain. "I'll talk to you later…" he fell back keeping his finger on his lips.
She opened her mouth but he shook his head with his golden orbs that held the sun, pleading, to make her heart shake like a tree on a cliff during a storm.
She nodded as a drop of tear slipped from her eye.
[Stay… Talk to me more…]
*Blub* *Blub*
Everything around her started to darken and she could feel her soul sinking deeper into the nothingness that she knew would swallow her to nothing.
'Useless… Wastrel…Hahahaha… You are not needed…'
Those sneers were heard in the waters that filled the nothingness. This is the place that held her nightmares; the place she didn't want to return ever.
She looked around for Wispy and even Wispy was not around.
[Who will help me out?]
"Lexa… Lexa…"
*Bling*
There came a light from the surface of the waters.
[Yes! Max…]
She held out her hand. This is the second time this is happening. She felt the coldness around her dissipating as a gentle warmth engulfed her the moment his voice reached her.
"Lexa, look at me!"
She could hear the voice of the man that could roar, and the man who shared the appearance of the Luke she loved, calling to her with his voice shaking.
[I will… I will get to you…Max!]
She opened her eyes. The sun was in her eyes and Max covered it with his hands relieving the strain in her eyes.
"Oh… Lexa…" he hugged her.
"What happened?" she wanted to know that first.
[Did Wispy get me into trouble once more?]
"You passed out…" he pressed his forehead on hers. She was relieved for a moment. but fear engulfed her heart. She heard his trembling voice. "You frightened me…"
"Max…" she whispered and her eyes filled with tears.
She didn't know why she was moved. Was it because she was scared of losing herself in that nothingness again? Or was it because she saw the wetness at the corners of his eyes?
She didn't know how Max shares the same appearance as Luke from her past. It should be because he is the descendant of Luke.
[Luke... He married another woman...]
Another bout of pain engulfed her heart. But her eyes ended up on that man holding her.
Well, she couldn't say Max's appearance is the same as Luke's. There is something different in Max's eyes that makes her heart hurt.
[Hurt, pain... Why do I feel that all the time?]
Whatever it may be, the bottom line is she doesn't want Max to be sad. He cannot be sad.
"I won't change…" she said. "Ever. So don't be sad…"
Her throat went dry and she coughed. And the next moment she was covered in his arms. His minty scent overwhelmed her.
"Lexa… Lexa…" he buried his face in her shoulder for some time. She thought he might be crying but she might be wrong.
"Let's get you checked out by a doctor first."
He stood up carrying her. This time Felixa trusted he won't drop her. She leisurely leaned on his shoulder.