"Hey mom?"
"Ya sweety?"
"Do…do you ever feel like you're drowning? Your hands flailing around, trying to find something to grab onto. Trying to reach out for help. But no matter how much you scream, no matter how much you plead, your lungs just fill with water, and your cry's for help fall to deaf ears".
"Mhm".
"You try to swim to the top, just to get a breath of air so you don't have to feel so suffocating. But instead you just sink deeper and deeper. You're drowning and there's no one to save you. And that's how I feel every day."
I gazed up at my mother, trying not to break down and cry, "I need help mom".
A tear slid down from my cheek making my mother look up from her phone.
"Sorry, what was that sweety?"
I started at her in disbelief and hurt.
"I was just watching this video on facebook", my mother laughed nervously, "it's really funny, come here, have a look".
"MOM!!"
"Oh I'm sorry sweety, would you mind telling me again? I promise I'll listen. We can even watch this video after you're done explaining", my mother smiled sympathetically.
I was debating if I should repeat myself or not but instead smiled and wiped away my tear.
"It's nothing".
"Just go back to watching your funny videos", I got up from the couch and left for my room.
"But sweety you just got out of your room-", my mom's voice cut off from the slam of my door.
"Ugh, kids these days".
•
•
•
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Shutting my door I slumped down to the floor.
"It's ok", I whispered to myself.
"Maybe she'll listen next time?".
Leaning my head back I let the tears fall. After being stuck in my room for ages, I had finally gathered the courage to tell my mother how I feel. But like always she never listens.
"I just want someone to tell me that it'll be ok".
"Someone to reach into the deep waters and hold my hand and guide me to the surface."
"I want to be able to breath again and not feel so worthless and suffocating all the time".
"I NEED HELP"
"I WANT HELP".
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this is honestly how I feel somtimes when I want to tell my family that I'm not ok :(