I forgot my wallet; we'd made it all the way back to Theo's hotel before I realized I didn't have it with me. I'd left it in Kiera's bedroom, just great. I'd had to get a cab back to Kiera's place which I did not want to be doing. I know what she was planning last night with Connor; that dress had made it pretty obvious so I did not want to be walking into anything. I figured I'd just ring the doorbell and if they didn't answer I'd wait it out until I was sure they were done before going back to get my wallet. What I didn't expect was to walk right into the middle of an argument, which is clearly what's happening. Kiera's standing at the sink; her back to me and Connor is at the door, his pale skin flushed in anger and his expression thunderous. I'm not sure what they could be arguing about, as far as I know everything had been peachy keen between these two.
Obviously, there's some trouble in paradise because Connor is rigid as a sheet of metal in front of me and Kiera's form hunched over the sink scrubbing wrathfully tells me she's just as upset. There's a childish side of me that indulges in the friction between them but then I have to remind myself it's selfish to want her relationships to fail. Before I can apologize for intruding or make a quick exit, Connor speaks and what he says has me rooted to the spot.
"Wanna tell me again how I'm wrong?" he says, his voice thick with emotion. I see Kiera's shoulders tense in my peripheral vision and I know this has something to do with me as she glances over her shoulder at me. There's a sense of strain in the room and I don't know what they were talking about before I got here but I'm convinced my showing up just made it worse. There's so much hostility in Connor's voice as he says; 'I'm out of here," that I'm floored. I've never really seen him act this way towards Kiera before. He's always looked at her like she's the living embodiment of sunshine, which I would say is pretty accurate. Right now though, he seems barely able to look at her.
I stand just inside the door way for seconds after he leaves, unsure if I should stay or follow him out but then I hear the telltale sniffles coming from Kiera's direction and all of my muscles bunch in anticipation. Walking over to her, slowly, I grasp her chin as gently as I can and turn her face to me. Tear tracks stain her cheeks which are splotchy and red, flushed from anger. She squeezes her eyes shut and I grit my teeth. She doesn't want me to see her crying which is unusual for her; she's never cared about crying in front of me before. What did Connor do?
Before I can stop to think about it, I'm heading for the door, I throw a command to stay put over my shoulder and don't bother to check if she listened. My boots are heavy on the stairs down to the main entrance and then I'm outside. The wind bitingly frigid but I'm burning up. If he's hurt her, I'll kill him. The only reason I've been chill about Connor always hanging around is because he seems to treat Kiera right and when I took the time to see past my prejudice for not liking him it was clear as day that he's good for her. But all that is irrelevant if he's done something to hurt her.
He's just opening up the door to his car when I get out to the parking lot. I reach forward and slam it shut once more. At any other time, I would treat a car this fine with much more respect but right now I'm using all my self-control to not bash Connor's face in. "What did you do?"
He looks back at me, startled. His voice sounds surprised, it comes off as genuine but it can't be because I know Kiera wouldn't be in the state she's in if he hadn't done anything. "Nothing"
"Really?" I ask, I can hear the anger in my voice and I am not interested in doing a damn thing to mask it. "I've got a girl crying her eyes out in there, now I'm not in the mood for games. So, I'll ask again… What did you do?"
He scoffs, that's the second time he's done that and it's so unlike him I do a double take. I don't know Connor well enough to guess at the reasons for his actions but I'm damn sure that he's not usually like this. "Why are you so sure I did something?" he says, with venom in his voice. "Let me ask you this, why are you out here? If Kiera wants to say something to me she should come out here herself."
Over my dead body am I allowing her anywhere near him when she's upset like this. "She didn't send me out here." I tell him in her defense. "In fact she wouldn't even look at me. I don't know what happened here but you need to go make it right."
"We broke up." He tells me, matter-of-factly, leaning his weight back against his car and giving off an air of nonchalance.
"You- What?"
Uhm, what? So, that explains the tears and the tension. "Don't sound so upset." I hear the derision in his voice.
"No, I just… I'm a little surprised, that's all." It's true, I really wasn't expecting that. I mean, those two have been all over each other since I got back to town, and all of a sudden this happens. It's a lot to wrap your head around.
"Yeah well, I don't see how you didn't see this coming." The way he says it catches my attention, there's something more he isn't saying; something underneath his words, another meaning woven into it that he's not saying. "Okay, look. I'm going to be straight with you because I think you actually genuinely want what's best for her."
"Of course I do."
"Good, then tell her how you feel." Well, that's interesting… What exactly what does he expect me to tell her, I mean sure I care about her and yeah, I'm still attracted to her but that doesn't mean anything.
"I'm not following."
"I'm also not in the mood for games; either step up and love her the way she deserves or step aside and let me do it. Your choice." He sets his shoulder, straightening so that we're standing at the same height again. It puts him face to face with me and I can see sadness in his eyes.
"I'm not in love with her." I say, forcing as much of the conviction I feel into those words. I can't be in love her because the last time that happened she all but ruined my life and I might have forgiven her but I'm not ready to put myself through that again; especially, when she's made it crystal clear that she will never love me back.
"Yes, you are. We all see it. The only people who don't seem to realize it are you and Kiera." What does he mean they all see it? He's not the first person to say that to me and I'm starting to think our friends spend an unhealthy amount of time discussing mine and Kiera's relationship. I mean first Emma and my dad, then Theo and now Connor? That's basically everyone who's been around us these last few months and the fact that it's coming from Connor who hasn't known either of us that long is proof that maybe there's something there that we haven't been seeing.
"I…" I begin but then I realize I don't even know what to say to that. How am I supposed to prove that I'm not in love with her?
"That's what I thought.'' Connor speaks when I take too long to respond. "Go back in there and tell her how you feel or don't, I don't care either way. I'm done being her consolation prize." And with that he turns, gets into his car and speeds off down the street leaving me standing there completely dumb-struck.
Sliding my hands into my pockets, I go back up to Kiera's apartment my mind swirling with the conversation I just had with Connor. What he'd said about my feelings for Kiera, that couldn't be true. As unsettling as it is being accused of being in love with Kiera, it's far worse when it comes from someone who's known us for all of three seconds.
Back in her apartment I find Kiera at the sink still crying, although not as aggressively as she had been before. Her body goes rigid when she hears me approaching and I can barely focus on anything but the sound of her soft sniffles. She's rubbing roughly at her face trying to scrub away the evidence of her crying.
I reach out to her laying my hand gently on her shoulder but she starts as if I've fired a gun next to her head. "You okay, bub?"
"Peachy," she says in a voice that sounds anything but, shrugging my hand off her shoulder. She still stiff as a board at the sink but she's hunching in on herself, almost as if she's trying to disappear into herself. I didn't even realize she liked Connor this much.
"Liar." I soot back, trying for levity.
"Just go, Dastan." She lets out a sigh, her shoulders hunching even more. She looks so small and fragile I want to wrap her in my arms and keep her safe from everything. "I want to be alone right now."
"You shouldn't be alone like this. Let me stay; let me be here for you. Isn't that what friends do." That's bullshit. She and I both know if I was really her friend I'd walk out this door and out of her life and stop being an obstacle in her and Connor's relationship because I know that's why they broke up.
"Oh, so now you want to be my friend." She spins around, her hair whipping me in the face but I barely have a moment to step away from her, she looks pissed.
"And what do you mean by that?" I ask, knowing full well, I'd be better off if I hadn't asked at all. Apparently, I'm a masochist.
"I mean, last night you were saying how you wanted to be anything but my friend and now suddenly it's 'that's what friends do,'" Well shit, I thought I might have gotten off the hook for that one, or I was hoping I had.
"Kiera," I start not knowing where I'm going with this but I guess I've committed and I have to see it through. "About last night, I know I said some things that might have been inappropriate but you should know me well enough to know not to take anything I say while I'm drunk seriously." I say, scratching at the back of my neck.
"You're unbelievable." Her voice is high, pitchy and almost breathless.
"I think the word you're looking for is amazing." I say with a smile and she chuckles. Mission accomplished. Reaching forward again, tentatively this time, so as not to startle her I lead her to the living room couch, settle a blanket over her lap and go back to the kitchen to finish up the dishes.
She's silent the entire time, but at least her sniffling has stopped so I know she's not crying anymore. By the time I'm done she seems somewhat more herself which I guess is good. I head into the living room and plop onto the seat beside her, handing her a bowl.
"Instant noodles, really?" she asks in a voice that sounds far more upbeat than minutes before.
"That's about all you have in your kitchen, aside from soy sauce and a banana that looks older than me." I say, pinching the tip of her nose and then reaching for the remote and turning on the sports channel. She grabs it from me.
"Oh, must have slipped my mind to go shopping." She tells me while switching between channels, looking for God only knows what. "Thanks."
I give a nod, and sling my arm across the back of the couch; she settles against it hesitantly and eats her noodles, watching the channels skip from movie to movie. "Don't mention it." I say absently, fingers falling to lazily stroke the side of her arm and I try to ignore how glaringly obvious it is that Connor was totally spot on and right now, I'm playing with fire.