Where is she? I'm sitting in one of the uncomfortable little couches on the third floor of the building Emma works at; the IT department. My butt has started to go numb and I've been getting weird looks from people passing by. Although, that might be because I've been shifting around in my seat like a fidgety toddler since I sat down. I check my phone for the twelfth time in three minutes, still nothing. Just the text Haider sent earlier that I'm still pretending I haven't seen. I feel a little guilty but until I can figure out how I want to tackle this situation it's a necessary evil. In hoping talking about it with Emma will help with that. However, I'm not hopeful seeing as how Emma seems to have been raptured. I glance at my phone again, no texts and it's been fifteen minutes.
"Kiera?" that's not a voice I know. I turn my upper body around in my seat and find myself staring at someone I definitely don't know. I would not have forgotten a face like that.
Wow.
"You're Kiera, right?" I nod mutely, I can't speak. There's an angel standing in front of me and it doesn't help that the light coming into the window behind him is illuminating his ash blond hair making it glow almost white like a halo.
"I'm sorry," I say, "but do I know you?" He laughs the sound is so decadent it's almost indecent.
"No, I'm Connor," he introduces himself and reaches out a hand for me to shake. I look from his gorgeous face to his outstretched hand then get to my feet and briefly clasp his hand in mine.
"Kiera, but it seems you already knew that." I raise one perfectly arched eyebrow at him and he grins sheepishly.
"Uh," he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, it's adorable. Especially since his porcelain skin takes on a light dusting of pink along the sculpted arches of his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. "I work with Emma; she may have mentioned you before."
"Wow, you must have some amazing deductive skills there, Sherlock. You put together who I was from her just mentioning me before." I offer him a little smirk.
He chuckles, "She also has a picture of you on her desk."
"Ah," I nod sagely, "Any chance I could bribe you to make it mysteriously disappear?" I inquire good-naturedly, and that gets me another deep laugh. I'm surprised by how nice it feels to have a normal interaction with another human being. I'd forgotten what this felt like.
"Absolutely not," he says raising his arms in a defensive gesture in front of his body. "There isn't enough money in the world that would make me cross Emma." He shakes his head, "She's terrifying."
I laugh, "I can be pretty terrifying too," I say in my best attempt at persuasion.
"I find that hard to believe," He says, his eyebrow climbing higher on his forehead. "No one that pretty could be terrifying."
"I bet you say that to all the girls you find skulking around the IT department." I roll my eyes jokingly.
"Don't need to," he gives an irreverent little shrug, "In case you haven't noticed I'm kind of a big deal around here."
"Hmmm" I hum low in my throat, "humble too." I tease, smirking. Wait a second, am I flirting right now? More importantly, is he flirting back?
No.
I'm probably just misreading the situation.
"Only on Mondays and when I find myself in the presence of a beautiful woman I'd like to take on a date."
Well, there's no misinterpreting that, it's a clear invitation. "So you want to take me on a date?"
"Actually, it's Monday." I huff a breathy little laugh. This one is trouble; he's far too charming for his own good.
"Ew! Are you flirting?" Emma's voice shatters the moment.
"Well, not anymore." It comes out as more of a grumble but they both hear it. Connor smirks, and Emma looks as if I've just danced into the building stark naked and covered in maple syrup. That's a little insulting, it's not like I haven't dated or shown an interest in guys before. "Ready to go?" I inquire, nodding towards the window at our backs.
She visibly shakes herself out of her thoughts, "Yeah," she nods, "Nice shoes." I look down at my five-inch black sparkly heels.
"Thanks," I acknowledge, with a grin. "I wanted to feel intimidating today."
"Why would shoes make you feel intimidating?" Connor asks, he sounds so genuinely baffled, I chuckle.
"Tall women scare people." I offer.
"Especially, beautiful, tall women in heels." Emma adds helpfully. Right. It's been an issue my whole life, being taller than most of the boys I was interested in. I'd always struggled to find guys who were tall enough that I could comfortably wear heels to dates with. That's why Dastan was always the best fit, he's so tall I look like a regular sized girl when I'm around him. Connor seems to have that advantage too, if the way I'm tilting my head back just to look at his face is any indication.
"I don't get it." Connor says, and he's giving me the kind of once-over that has my skin prickling in ways that are not entirely unpleasant.
The sensation leaves me slightly off-balance and I'd like to think that's the only reason I say what I do next because I open my mouth and absolutely humiliate myself by saying; "Yeah, you don't seem like you'd be familiar with the plight of smaller men." Immediately, my eyes widen in horror and Emma claps a hand over her mouth to hold in her laughter. Connor barks a laugh, throwing his head back in the most mesmerizing movement that exposes his throat. I cover my eyes with my hand, "Oh, my god! I did not mean that the way it sounded." He just laughs harder and Emma joins in now. Great, now I've completely ruined any chance I could've had with this damn Greek God of a man.
"Well, I don't think they make you intimidating." He offers, "I mean, you definitely are intimidating, but it isn't the shoes."
I raise my eyebrows skeptically, "Then what is it?"
His ears are tinged pink again, "You know," he shrugs adorably; "the fact that you're far too stunning to actually be a real person is pretty intimidating." Now I'm blushing.
Emma snorts, "Hey, Casanova, don't you have work to do?" she asks eyeing us in a weird way. He nods and turns to leave.
"I'll see you around Kiera." The way he says my name should be a crime. It's just a name; it should not sound that good coming from anyone's lips. I don't respond, just stare after him dumbstruck.
Emma just shakes her head at me and pushes me toward the exit.
We find ourselves seated at a booth in some Mexican restaurant close to my apartment. We're both still in our work clothes, munching happily on chili cheese fries and tacos. Emma takes a hearty sip of her margarita, eyeing me over the glass. I can practically hear the wheels turning in her head. She was pretty silent on the walk over here and I'm assuming she's occupied with over-thinking something as usual. Emma usually works herself into a state over things that don't really matter. I like to joke that I can smell the smoke coming out of her ears.
"So, Connor…" she begins. Yeah, I knew it. Only I don't understand why this is the subject that's got her wrapped up in her own head. "When did that happen?"
"Nothing happened," I tell her shrugging off her concerns; except a little flirting, and lots of butterflies. God, no man should ever be that good looking. I can't stop thinking about him. It's been such a long time since I've felt this way around anyone.
"That was not nothing," she shouts, then looks around self-consciously. "You giggled," She's quieter now, "Honest, to God giggles, Kiera!"
"And?"
"And I haven't seen you like that since college. You were glowing, and blushing." She's making wild, exaggerated gestures, swinging her arms around her head as her volume rises. She's not entirely wrong. It's not as big of a deal as she's making it into but it definitely has been while since I've met someone who I clicked with so instantaneously. It doesn't hurt that he's incredibly handsome too, with his mercurial eyes, pale blond hair, and porcelain skin so fair he looks almost carved of marble. He's just as flawless as a marble sculpture too.
"It was just some harmless flirting," I tell her, shrugging again. I've been doing that a lot tonight. Even I'm starting it recognize it as a defensive gesture. "It's nothing."
"Nothing, she says" Emma rolls her eyes heavenward at my apparent denseness. "There was nothing harmless about the way that man was looking at you."
"Wait! How was he looking at me?" She grins and now it's my turn to roll my eyes. I know she's about to blow this out of proportion and I should not have even asked but I'm curious. So curious. It's been an age since a man has actually had me wanting to see him again. After the accident little things like that stopped being important to me.
"So, you do care?" she raises a skinny brown eyebrow at me, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
"No."
"So, you don't care that he was looking at you like you were a Christmas feast and he'd been starving since Easter and he couldn't wait to sink his teeth into you?" My stomach gives a delighted little dip that has me gripping the edge of the vinyl seat cushion.
Oh.
That's new.
"He was not!" I protest but my face is already hot and probably bright, blazing red. I know we flirted and there was definitely some mutual attraction but I don't think it was that intense. Or at least, it didn't feel that intense. Emma's laughing at me and it's not helping to ease the flush coloring my face. It doesn't matter anyway, I probably ruined my chances after that dumb comment I made and even if I didn't there's always the fact that I'm insane to scare him off.
"I'm not sure how I feel about it to be honest" she says "but I think it might be good for you to start dating again."
I knew there was more to this than just me flirting with Connor for five minutes. This is about Dastan. She thinks it'll be better for me if I moved on and distracted myself with someone else. I'm pathetic. They're now trying to bribe me with new toys to move on. God. I thought I was being subtle but clearly, I'm as transparent as glass right now.
The worst part is that even if I did date Connor I don't think it'd ever make me stop loving Dastan. He's so much a part of who I am. Who I was. That it feels impossible to separate my identity from my relationship with him.
"It doesn't matter, I'm not interested in dating anyone." Who isn't Dastan. I don't say it but it hangs heavy in the air between us for the rest of the night