TW: Mention of SA
a couple of days later...
So I'm deciding to go to school today, which sucks because I don't want to go. I have my headphones and my music so I don't have to listen to the teachers or students blab on about pointless things. In a few months, I'll have graduated and been far gone so what's the point. I'll probably take college classes online, seeing as if I barely have the money to support myself, and sure as hell, not tuition.
On the way to school, I make sure to mentally prepare myself for the day ahead, because I already know that people are gonna start stuff. People are gonna give me their bullshit "I'm sorry's" and teachers are gonna feel bad for me. The typical "someone lost a family member" stage of where it's all apologetic glances and looks. I personally hate it because of all the attention I don't exactly need, it's not good for me either. I'm usually invisible but right now, it seems the exact opposite is happening.
I walk into school and see Ben waiting for me, he has coffee in his hands so that makes up for the fact that HES STANDING THERE WAITING FOR ME. I've had a crush on this kid for at least a year, I would never let him know this because knowing Ben he would make a move and I would fall for it, and him, so it's probably better off him not knowing. Also him not knowing makes it a lot easier for me to leave without announcing. I'm surprised he hasn't caught on yet. Probably because he and I have never spoken before and I avoid him at all costs. Not at ALL costs because I have to see a goddess in the flesh sometimes. He makes me feel emotions and I don't know if I can risk that right now. One thing I know for sure is that he's a cocky son of a bitch, confident too.
"How are you doing Aiden? I bought coffee for us, I didn't quite know what kind you liked exactly so I just bought the sweet one. Especially since every time you enter the school building you either have coffee or a granola bar so I thought it would be nice to get ya a coffee." He's adorable even if he doesn't know it. "I'm doing well considering my sister died the other day. Coping I guess you would put it in the correct term. Besides I'm here right? Thanks for the coffee."
I grab the coffee and he looks nervous. I mean a lot of people are nervous around me because of the aura I give off but I never expected Ben of all people to be nervous. It's weird seeing him like this. Why would he be nervous? Oh, right he likes me, anyway. "You alright Ben. You seem to be a little shaky?" "Yeah, I'm fine. I should be the one asking YOU that. Not the other way around A." He's already giving me cute pet names. Adorable. Wait shit, I shouldn't be doing this. I need to be graduating not focusing on some fling or boy toy. Oh god, what am I gonna-
Saved by the bell. Quite literally. We both walk our separate ways, seems to be the same way, oh right I forgot we have the same 4 periods together. That's fantastic. Let's see how this fuckery goes down. Hopefully, it doesn't end horribly. Even if it does I'll be going home afterward so it shouldn't matter... right?
4 classes later.
It's over thank god, time for lunch. I really thought he was gonna grab my hand when we were walking down the hallway, but I guess not. I kind of hoped he would. Secretly praying he did, or just something to show his affection towards me. I mean we're not even dating but we should be. I'm breaking a lot of rules to do this with him right now. But rules are made to broken, even if it risks survival. Way in over your head Aiden.
I usually sit outside on the tree in the courtyard but I decided to sit inside for some reason which can either end very well or bad so.
Ben walks to his table.
"Hey, Ace. Mind if I sit with you? I got extra food for you since you didn't eat breakfast this morning." God his smile is so pretty. "Yeah sure, just make sure not to knock my books off." Those books are my kids if I'm being honest.
I took up reading as a "coping mechanism," as you would call it. Reading is quite fun, I enjoy biographies the most. It's interesting to learn all about someone through words on a page, it's kind of weird. It's like learning everything you can after you stalk someone's Instagram. Anyways, he is so cute for no reason, how can someone be so godlike and look like an archangel at the same time. God, I think I'm in love, am I?
Hell I might as well be with the way he looks at me, the way he stares at me is so cute, he thinks I don't notice but I do. He does it to where you can't really see him do it, but when you do it's so cute. I'm falling for him. God, I shouldn't be doing this, knowing what happened last time...
__________________________________
Time Skip- 2 Years Ago
Aiden was 15 and his ex was 18. He took advantage of him and he fell for everything. Aiden forgot the rules for a while and thought he was in love. He learned life the hard way. Love is not what it seems to be. Ex (James) SAed him, Ace doesn't remember because he pushed it to the back of his mind, now he wonders why he never sees himself falling for anyone with any sexual interest in him. James messed him up more than life ever tried to. He probably will never recover from what he did to him. James messed his perception of love and sexual relations up.
Present time
If I remember correctly, Willow beat James' ass after she found out what he did to me. More so killed him and hid his body in a graveyard, which is smart if you ask me. Dead bodies are already there so what would be different if another was added. Onto our parents that were already there. They deserved it.
I haven't felt this strongly for someone since him, nor Willow. I loved them both so much but one of them fucked me over and the other died. Life really has a plan for me huh? Well, life can go fuck itself, I'll make my own plan, have my own lovers and rules. Even though I may get hurt, lovers hurt when they leave, and life never lets you get your way because it always finds a way to mess things up for you no matter what happens because life has to always be a major pain in the ass.
When I say to make my own rules, I mean adjust Willows because hers are a little like she was a Karen over me, get it right she wants but she can be one sometimes and it was the funniest thing.
So Willow and I were in line for Starbucks and the barista gets my order wrong on accident, mind you we already drove off and are already 5 minutes away, I told her my drink order was wrong so she TURNED THE CAR ALL THE WAY AROUND, and drove back to the store and told them to either give her a refund or re-do my drink. They decided to re-do my drink. (funny thing is that it was better before)
Willow was a complete Karen that day which in itself can be useful but extremely embarrassing at times, the same story but at McDonald's and KETCHUP, yeah so she was OUT THERE, but she was an overall nice person. Kind on the inside, hard heart on the inside. No one knew that she didn't like anyone during school except me and my brother (we'll get to him later. he's a dick.) My brother is the BIGGEST selfish person you have ever met, if you were thirsting to death and he had an entire water bottle, he would give you a CAP FULL then lie to you saying he didn't have anymore WHILE HOLDING THE BOTTLE IN HIS HAND.
He's not the nicest person on this planet but he will protect his family and he's made sure of that plenty of times. There was this one time when a kid was bullying me at school and the next thing I remember the next day he is beating the shit out of this kid in the hallway in front of everyone.
That's why people know not to fuck with me or my brother. He moved in with me not long after Willow died. He's been living with me for a while now, it's quite nice actually, better than doing this shit alone. I'd rather do it alone but, I have to play with the cards I've been dealt.