We arrive at his house, it's homey, but not in a way you would suspect. Strangely it feels like home to me when I'm 110% sure I've never been here. Maybe I have and just don't remember? Whatever it's probably because I haven't slept in an actual bed since like a week ago I believe. I've been sleeping in my car for days on end, I couldn't bare go back into my house. I barely sleep, it's probably because I have not taken my meds in a good 2 weeks or so. I'm gonna try and check his cabinets to see if he has anything good, or just anything to calm my nerves. I hope he does if not I'm probably not going to sleep well tonight or at all.
Ben shakes me, apparently, he thinks I'm asleep. "Sleepyhead get up, I'll carry you if you don't." I get up almost instantly. "Damn want to get away from me that fast?" In reality, if he were to carry me, he would feel the gun in my waistline, and the knife on my thigh so I'm good. "No, just I don't like to be touched." In reality, I couldn't wait for him to actually pick me up by the waist and kiss me, amongst other things. He really needs to figure out what he wants from me because my feelings and my mind are getting confused. Mainly my heart because he acts like such an ass, but I know deep down he would look damn good in a maid dress, anyways, time to head in.
He opens the door for me, awe. He acts like a gentleman, is he a bottom? Hope not, I scoff to myself to the thought and get out. "For you good sir." He's still standing there with the door open if he knew how stupid he looked right now. "Thanks."
He's acting weird. Probably because he's a loner and doesn't know how to keep up a conversation or he's thinking the same thing. "I want to kiss him." Maybe not, I can't read him. Hell, he hides his emotions better than me, which is surprising. It took me years to be able to mask everything. "Ready to head in Aiden?" "Yeah sure, do you have any food, I also need to use the bathroom." I'm going to check the cabinet to clear this headache one, second is to get something in my system so I can calm the fuck down. I've been on edge the entire ride; it's exhausting to watch over your shoulder the whole time. Something, anything will suffice.
We head in, and again he holds the door open, cute. I mean what if he is different than all the other boys I've been with or hooked up with out of sheer boredom. I hope so because I think I'm falling for him even if I'm not meaning to. "The bathroom is down the hall to the right. When you finish, please come help me fix this, I know you like fixing and building stuff." "Yeah sure." I head down the hallway admiring the house, it looks like a log cabin but has "house on top of the hill," vibes. The walls are covered in very old paintings, ones you would find at an old rich person's house, (never been in one of those but just the thought of it sounds cool). As soon as I reach the bathroom, I locked the door and started rummaging through the cabinets, behind the mirror, basically everywhere for something to calm my nerves. I really wish I had my weed right now that would really help.
I kept looking around, everywhere until I found a goody powder (crushed headache medicine in a paper package). I opened the goody powder, and washed it down with a monster I had stashed in my bag. "Aiden hurry up please I still need help." Okay well I guess it's time to head out, I swear if it's something dumb, I'm laughing at his ass.
I walked into the room I heard him yelling from and he was holding a broken lamp, not even that; it was broken in half, it was one of those really tall stand-up lamps rich people have in their living rooms. Obviously, I have never seen one, but still how the hell did he manage to break it completely in half. "Ben how the actual hell did you break the lamp in half?" He looked at me like he was nervous and or scared, funny. "Uhm well I broke it last time I had a party; I was trying to pretend it was a microphone stand and I was singing into it, and I went to lean in to sing a lyric, got pushed, and I fell on it, therefore, causing it to break. Now please stop standing there laughing n help me fix it before I have to buy another, I don't feel like buying another after one of my dumb-ass friends broke the last one."
I don't know how he expects me to fix his unless he has a tape roll or really strong super glue. "Okay well, do you have tape or super glue?" "No, I don't keep them around, I don't really need them, I just buy more of the broken item or get my dad to buy it." How the hell does this house does not have tape or super glue, they must be one of the rich families that's like "if it's broken just buy a brand new one," when they have 1 single scratch on their iPhone. I don't understand families or people like that in general, whatever.
"You're probably going to have to buy another one, I can't fix it. Plus, you probably have the money to do so anyway, oh sorry daddies' money." He turns and looks me directly in the eyes and I feel my heart start to go a million miles an hour. I think I'm starting to fall for this dumb ass. "Aiden if I said or did something that upset you tell me, don't be an ass about it, and don't pull your passive-aggressive shit my father does it all the time." "Sorry, Ben but if you haven't noticed we are on two different sides of the spectrum. You and your family are rich, mine on the other hand, well the only person I truly considered family died, and my brother's a complete ass to me so I don't care about him as much. I've been sleeping in my car for weeks, going to and from school, finding a place to park and sleep, barely being able to shower unless it's in public showers or at friends' houses. Ben, you don't understand how that shit feels to have everything ripped away from you in a single day. My reason to live passed away. We have been on the run together for so long, I got used to us running and running away, I never actually considered settling down with someone or holding an actual meaningful relationship. None of it mattered anyway because I knew I would be gone in May. It all never really mattered until I moved here in this crazy ass town and met you. I think you might be my reason on to stay in this town." Shit why did I say all that. Fuck.
He looked at me up and down like he was sizing me up or is he checking me out, I'm not sure. Probably both knowing him. "Aiden I never knew I'm sorry." He starts to walk towards me,"Yeah, not a lot of people know. There's no need to be sorry shit happens."
He heads towards me with open arms, I don't back away from because I kind of need this, I noticed I started to melt as soon as he wrapped his arms around me. He does this thing when he hugs people (he rarely does) where he wraps his arms around you but at the same time, he kisses your head. It's the cutest thing, you would never expect him to be this soft. I'm guessing he's one of the guys that acts all tough on the outside around his friends/other people but with his s/o he's the softest person in the world.
I closed my eyes and started to listen to his heartbeat, it's slow but erratic like he's happy. I hope he is I hope I can make him the happiest person alive. I've been trying my best, God he's the only thing I've wanted in these past couple of years. I've always been focused on making sure I was safe and away from cops, and not on the fact that I've never had relationships/friendships worthwhile. He's going to be the one that makes me smile (he already does he just doesn't know) in the saddest moments.
"Aiden, I have to tell you something." He looks at me holding my face with both hands, "What's up?" He looks nervous it's so cute. "I think I'm starting to fall for you." OH I didn't expect that at all??