I hope Gwen has not gotten far. I run out of the reception area. But someone pulls me back by the arm. It's a young girl. A teenage girl. She is dressed in all black. Her whole face was hidden by her hoodie. She hands me a picture. She utters one word, Gwen. I look at the picture. It-It's this face. I have seen this face before. The little girl from my dream. This is her. The year printed on the picture is 1993. I was not alive at that time. How could that little girl be in my dream? Who exactly is she? Suddenly I remember something. I see the little girl again in a daydream, She is hugging a bear. I show her a plane and fly it over her head. She giggles.
"Her name is Gwen," She points at the bear with her tiny pointer finger.
"You mean your name?" She nods her head yes.
I snap back to reality. My grandpa catches me as I start to fall. I don't feel anything. A numbing feeling washes over me. This was not a dream, this really happened. That girl in the dream was younger than me but she is supposed to be older because this girl from my dreams, from that strange memory is...Gwen.
"Alejandro, can you hear me?" I hear my Grandpa call out.
"In memory...she...dream...her...Gwen," I say closing my eyes slowly. My heart beats faster. I feel a sharp pain in my head. Then instantly I hear a ringing in my ear. I lose balance and slip. The last thing I feel is cold laying on the ground realizing that this is the lost memory I overhead at my father's house in Australia. This is it. I am sure of it.
-
I wake up with a piercing headache. I try to remember what happened last night. All I remember is a strange teenage girl. She gave me something. I don't know what it was. This headache doesn't help me remember. I raise my head to look at where I am. This is not my room at my mansion. This is the room I had in my grandpa's apartment. My grandpa opens the door.
"You are awake?" I sit up as he brings me a mocha. My favorite drink. Which takes my headache away.
"What happened last night? I can't seem to remember," My curiosity becomes stronger.
"You were not feeling well, you had a high fever. You even had bruises all over your body too," Grandpa says looking uneasy.
"That is strange," I look at my arms and there aren't any bruises. I place my hand over my forehead. I don't have a fever.
"Overnight you got better. Don't worry. Grandpa will always take good care of his grandson"
"I love you, Grandpa," I say. I realized that I have never sincerely told my grandpa this because I would think it wouldn't be manly. However, sometimes words assure a person of your love for them. Actions are what show your love too but knowing how busy I always am, I never get to see him. That is why I said these words today and it made me feel warm.
"I love you too, troublemaker," I laugh.
"But what about that teenage girl?"
"You're talking nonsense"
"No, really she gave me something"
"Where is that something then?"
"That's why I asked you"
"I would have it?"
"You need some sleep you haven't come to your senses"
"Grandpa. I'm serious"
"Find the girl then I will believe you," He chuckles almost falling back in the old creaky chair in my room.
"How am I supposed to?" I have never seen her in my life neither was I able to see her face. All of a sudden, I think of Gwen. I need to know she's okay because I don't know if Rosaline stopped stalking her.
"You look worried"
"Where's Gwen?"
"Gwen? Who is she?"
"Where to start..." All different memories appear in my head. "We met years ago...I thought we first met at the coffee shop I used to work at but then we found out we kind of met here at Sokcho-si. It was by coincidence. At the time I saw her at the pool alone. That is when I was kidnapped by Father. After we met in New York we both mentioned how we went there and we couldn't believe that it was us."
"I mean yeah of course how you met is one thing but I want to know who is she to you"
"I care about her deeply. I love her." He looks at me surprised. I have never talked to anyone about a girl because I never had a crush on any girl. As someone always being bullied and studying, I didn't have time for any of that. "I feel as if I knew her for a long time. You remember when I was younger when I wouldn't be comfortable around anyone?"
"Yeah, you wouldn't want to talk to anyone. I never understood why" Should I tell him that I was bullied when I was in school? No, I can't.
"With her, I felt comfortable. Cold at first. Disappearing. Doesn't open up. I got to know the real her. She is a sincere, loving, and emotional person even if she denies it," I chuckle to myself, slowly my face becomes warm and so does my heart.
"You really like her huh?" I shake my head yes. "Do you know who she really is?" The room grows cold.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Just trying to learn about the girl you love," He laughs and I join him.
That afternoon I get a call from Rosaline.
"Before you hang up let me speak. First, I want to say is that I quit working with your dad. So this is probably the last time you'll hear from me. Second and Lastly, I know I did Gwen wrong so take care of her. Make her happy."
"Me?" I say.
"Yeah, you. Goodness, gracious. You are so oblivious. Can't you tell how happy she was when she was dancing with you? Do you know how many times she cried at night because she missed you? Countless. I wanted to ship her to another country by how many nights I couldn't sleep," She takes a deep breath, "My point is, I know she feels something for you. It's different than Ross. Even Akio. She never dated any of them. All she did was crush on them. I'm sure that's what she is doing now. Plus she's not an open person. Not even with me. I know I did wrong but you can do right. Please, Alejandro. Never let her go. Never leave her alone and keep her safe. She's a rare person to find in this world." All I do is listen to what she has to say. "I wish I didn't have pride and greed because then I would realize what a special person she is. I feel like a bad person but I guess that's it" She hangs up the phone before I could say anything. I think about what she said Gwen likes me more than Akio and Ross? Why do I feel like I am first in the line like a child in Kindergarten?
"Alejandro," I hear my grandpa call me. I run to the living room.
"Can you move the things in that closet to my room?"
"Sure," I open the closet I see a few boxes. I pick them all up at once and place them on top of Grandpa's bed. One of the boxes pops open. The box is labeled 'Past.' I can't help but peek inside. It's a teddy bear. That teddy bear...is the one from my dreams. I get a flashback of someone holding a little bear. I can't see their face, it's blurry. Suddenly, Grandpa barges in.
"Why are looking inside the box when I only told you to move them?" He snatches the box with the little bear away from me.
"It's not that serious"
"You don't touch other people's things," He says in an aggressive tone.
"Ok, sorry," I walk out of the room to the living room to watch TV. I guess it wasn't a big deal. That bear...that flashback felt...too real...as if I was right there. Grandpa enters the living room a few minutes later.
"I am sorry," He looks down.
"No, I am sorry"
"Your attitude changed since you took a little break from the company." I can tell he is talking about my arrogant cold attitude lately.
"I wouldn't call this a break just...yeah a break but a short one. Now that I think about it has to be that way. This is a stressful job. I am doing this because I wanted our family's company to be in good hands, not my father's."
"What I am saying is someone changed it. Personalities don't change in an instant so this person must be special. I am guessing this person is Gwen"
"Maybe," I think of one person who can do that.
"You know what I was thinking is that we should go to Suwon to try some restaurants there that I saw online," He pulls out his phone and shows me pictures on his phone.
"Hmmm I love eating Korean food"
"Yeah," He scoffs, "You love eating every type of food, you pig"
"Ok, now I know that," Grandpa laughs.
That night
We go to eat at different restaurants. I felt like a pig just as Grandpa said before. We walk down a sidewalk of Suwon heading towards the crosswalk lights. As we do it starts to pour down rain. I knew we should have brought a car. I get a weird feeling. I feel as if I am being pulled by a rope. My head starts to hurt like this morning. I fall to the ground. I see my reflection in a puddle. My eyes are glow bright. I hear that ringing sound again. I scream in pain. I remember it all now...what happened to me. To Gwen. To us. I know now what happened, this past. That lost memory has finally shown its face. My pain deepens as every little detail replays in my head.
"Alejandro. Are you okay?" Grandpa yells. I don't answer. I can't. I feel as if my mouth has been glued shut. I turn my head from my reflection. I see Gwen lying on the ground on the other side of the street. I run to her without the crosswalk light turning green. My tears run with the water. Seeing her on the ground unconscious doesn't help. Her clothes are soaked and she's pale. A crowd begins to accumulate.
"We have to take her to the hospital," Grandpa says.
"No, you can't. She has always said 'Never take me to the hospital'," I respond and he lets out a deep breath.
"I know"
"How do you know?"
"Time travelers can't go to hospitals." A car pulls up. Grandpa quickly picks Gwen up covering her face from the cameras. He puts her inside the car and signals me to get in. When I get in the car, all I do is stare at Gwen. Is it true that she is a Time Traveler? Isn't that impossible? It would explain her disappearing a lot. Could that be the reason she doesn't work out? If my grandpa knew she is a Time Traveler is he one too? Grandpa just looks at her as if she is his daughter. By the way, he looks at her, he must care for her. Is that why he always asks me about her? We arrive at Grandpa's apartment building. He lifts her up again and takes her all the way up to the apartment. I don't know how he does it when he is old. I unlock the door. He takes her to the closest room to the door, which is mine.
"Watch her as I go get a wet towel," I pull the blanket over her to help her dry off from her soaked clothes. This way she could get sick but we don't have anything for her to change into neither can we change her ourselves. That is not in our place to do. I sit on the floor. Gwen, why do you did you keep things away from me? A spark of ang- "Why aren't you watching her?" Grandpa yells.
"I was," Grandpa puts a wet towel on her head. She doesn't look well at all. I can hear it is difficult for her to breathe.
"I didn't want you to find out like this. I guess you have to found out the truth now" What truth? He grabs my hand and it meets Gwen's hand. A shock runs throughout my body. I see myself in the mirror on my nightstand. My eyes glowing, a substance of electricity like before. Suddenly Gwen opens her eyes and I finally remember what happened last night. When Grandpa was talking about the 'truth' did he mean the memory? Does he know about it too? Last night, the picture of Gwen is what that teenage girl gave me. As I hold onto Gwen's hand, my lost memory hits me harder. My heart hurts. Someone squeezes my hand but I look at Grandpa. He is avoiding our eyes. I switch my eyes to look at Gwen. I thought my eyes were the only ones glowing but as she starts to cry. Her tears the color of the electricity-like color. We look at each other and our eyes become brighter. She covers her eyes with her hand. I remove her hand and touch her tear. It didn't shock me. I quickly touch Grandpa with the tear since he is looking away. He winces in pain. He continues to avoid our eyes. It is real electricity but how? Gwen tugs at my arm.
"Let me explain," She cries more.
"You knew about that mem- it didn't you?"
"It's a long story." I knew it wasn't because I remember everything just like her.
"It's a long story?" I scoff "Grandpa...you...how couldn't you tell me about this? Did you know Gwen? That she is a Time Traveler? You were the one who saved me from the fire I caused. That we were in a traumatic experience when we were younger. My father knows too, doesn't he? Say something" He doesn't say a word but keeps his face facing away "I can't beli-" I become speechless. I can't trust the person I love neither the family member who always is there for me. I stand up and head towards the door.
"Alejandro, don't go," Gwen's tears drop quicker, "Please," I wish I could stay. This burden, this pain, this memory. I need to occupy my head with something else. No...I have to pay a visit to my father now. I leave the apartment and once I reach the bottom floor, I call my father.
"Hello Son," He speaks to me in Korean as always.
"Hello Father"
"Is there something you need? I'm kind of bus-" I cut him off.
"There is. I need to talk to you. Meet me at my house at..." I look at my watch. It is 9 pm now "...9:30 pm," I take a taxi to my mansion and sit in the living room. I pass the time by looking at emails from work. Ugh, I have so much work to catch up on. Annoying. Jinjja. I hear a knock. I check the time. Exactly 9:30 pm. I open the door. As expected it's my father.
"Come in"
"Okay, Alejandro, now, tell me what's wrong," We sit on the couches across from one another.
"I know everything," My father tries to hide his facial expression, "I remember that lost memory. That one you have been trying to hide. The whole time I was trying to figure it out ever since Australia. I overheard your conversation with Stepmom. Now I have it..." I get up and sit next to my father, "I want to know what your hiding from me and I need to know now"
"Hmm...look at you standing up to your father," He gives me an arrogant smile, "However, You must know me...I never do things for free"
"What do you want?"
"Well, I am not sure if you heard but someone helped Ci-Xi and Akio get married," He moves his eyes to me, "And I was still able to partner with Yu-Nan Corp thanks to Ci-Xi talking to her parents. You know, how these are always arranged marriages and whatnot. Also, have you heard of the new partnership we are trying to hook?" What is with the random question? However, I knew the answer.
"The C.C.C. A farm company. Biggest in Thailand. Some of the products that they sell are rice, sugarcane, cotton, cocoa, medical plants," I stop realizing I have an essay on the company.
"You know it very well"
"Yes, the other day, I was looking at our partners and the C.C.C. would contribute greatly." How did this become a business meeting?
"They have a daughter called Chae-m Choi, long for Che with an e but pronounced Chai"
"Where are you getting at?" I ask, afraid of what he was going to say next.
"If you want to know the whole truth about your past...You have to marry her"
"Are we really going to do this again?"
"Why are you raising your voice and speaking casually to me?" We are both annoyed "If we want partnership..." If I don't do it, my father will. And I only want the truth...and what he knows about mom.
"Ok, I will marry her," Those words sour in my mouth.
"I'm not rushing the wedding and neither are they but all you two will do is go on dates for the news and paparazzi, get to know each other. I am not asking for much," I glare, "As you said before. Yes, you had memory loss..." He starts but I can't take it anymore.
"Why was mom like that? Why did she do that to Gwen? Why? I don't understand anything anymore," I stand up, hyperventilating. My father sits me back on the couch.
"Calm down. It's okay. I am here. You are going to be alright," He hugs me. I now recall that my father wasn't the bad guy like I thought. He didn't kill my mom. Tears start to fall down my face onto my dad's coat.
"Dad," I say to him. A name I haven't called him since my mother passed away. He is surprised. I can tell by the way he is looking at me. "I'm sorry for blaming you all these years for mom's death. You weren't involved at all."
"I'm the one who is sorry. I am the one who made it suspicious. The reason you thought that is when mom caused the accident of you and Gwen. It went on the news about how she abused her son because of how much soot from the fire you had. I couldn't have that. I took the blame for that," I look down at my hands in my lap.
"I felt hate for you. This whole time mom was the one who did wrong." He isn't surprised. "You knew that...Why did you let me hate you?"
"I wanted to protect your mom. I loved your mom so much. She loved me but I guess that love for me never fully belonged to me. She kept a grudge on someone." I guess remembering that memory I lost still holds secrets and answer behind them.
"A grudge? With who?"
"Ari Silva...Gwen's mom"
"Gwen's mom? Why?"
"Where to start? Seo-Yin, Ari Silva now Rio, and your mom were friends since they were little. Those three were like three musketeers. Back then, your mom had a crush on Andres Rio, Gwen's dad, since middle school. She never told him ever that she liked him so without knowing one day Gwen's mom didn't go on a friend's trip with them. Instead, she went to confess her feelings to Andres. Your mom felt betrayed and hurt." I know this story but never knew that they were Gwen's parents "However then that day we met and we gradually fell in love. I want to tell you something. Seo Yin Park liked me first too. I was already with your mom. After your mom passed away. She begged me to be with her. She had no family. Out of pity...I married her. I still loved your mom back then. However with that grudge...your mom went too far. She wanted to take Gwen away from her. She told her that if she would pay attention and see Gwen then she would do something bad. Gwen's mom never knew she died. I never talked to her or was never involved. That one day, I don't know how she appeared here in South Korea, at our old house.
"That where I met her"
"Yes"
"But Gwen was younger than me"
"It has something to do with her being a Time Traveler. I don't how or why she appeared there in 2008. The part I did hear my grandpa is that she caused your mom's death," I stare at him not hearing correctly.
"What did..." I gulp, "...you just say"
"Gwen caused your mom's death," He says each word slowly. At this moment, I feel...I feel...I don't know how to feel. I stand up and I begin to walk to the door. Before I leave, my dad stops me.
"Don't hate Gwen. You're not the only one hurt, she is." I know. I know I am not the only one hurt. My mom hurt her. I can't deal with this pain. My mom...how can I call her mom anymore? Were these her true colors? Was this who she was all along? Am I supposed to feel hate for what she did to Gwen? I can't bring myself to. After all of this, I still love my mom. Then there is the person in my heart. The whole time she knew that we knew each other. She pretended she didn't know me. Alone with Grandpa...the two people I trusted the most deceived me.
I guess it's not Gwen that's disappearing this time, it's me. The only difference is that I won't be coming back for a while