Winter of 2027, Four months after the present time.
"Gwen," She looks up at me. She stares at me as if she's seen a ghost. Next to her was my Grandpa. He is helping her walk. She is in crutches. She is still sick. I knew I felt as if something was pulling me here when I began to climb the mountain.
"Alejandro?" My grandpa says meeting eyes with me. Gwen turns around trying to go to the opposite side of me as fast as she can. But since she is on crutches she can not go quickly. I run to her.
"Stop," I hold my hand in front of her. She falls back losing grasp of her crutches. She holds her leg tight. I hurt her again. I bend down on the ground. She doesn't meet my eyes. "Gwen, look at me." She doesn't. "Gwen Look at me," I say louder. When she looks up, she is crying. Crying softly.
"Why did you come back?" Are the first words she tells me.
One year and a half later...Fall of 2026...Present time
How is my life going? Well, I guess my life is going. After everything that has happened, that is the only answer I come up with. I disappeared like I said I would. Away from everything, away from everyone. I resigned from being a Chairman along with a cold and arrogant personality. I sold my house. I blocked out everyone from my life. Being alone, feeling unloved, scared, feeling regret, feeling anger, regret, all these emotions squished into one. It started when Gwen said those words 'Don't leave, please.' Those words she whispered to me when we were younger. She was worried about me. I told her I wouldn't go. That I am there with her. I couldn't help but leave. I couldn't deal with this in front of people, I had to deal with this on my own. Then secondly was when I finally answered one of Grandpa's calls. I can remember it like it was yesterday.
"Hello" Hi, Grandpa I want to shout joyfully.
"Alejandro," He sounds serious. Did something happen?
"Gwen is sick." Gwen? Sick?
"I don't care," I push myself to say even though I want to run to her right now."How dare you say that?" What is wrong with me? Cant I give in? It would be better if she and I could get through this together but I couldn't.
"She is the one who caused my mom's death. She causes everything. My life is falling apart because of her. I know my mom did bad things. But! She was my mom," I bring myself to say.
"It's not her fault." Your right it is not her fault. "Now come see her." I want to. "Hey! Imma At least, do that Alejandro." I can't.
"Don't call me again," I pause, "I am going to change my number so next time you call, it will be a complete stranger. From this moment forward," My heart begins to shatter, "I want nothing to do with you and her," I hang up. I become to cry my eyes out. I can't imagine how she must feel after she heard those words.
Now I wonder, How is she now? Is my grandpa taking care of her? Is she getting treated? I wondered. I wish she could just run into my arm; I wanted to wrap my arms around her like I used to. That warm hug and her looking up to me with the most beautiful smile. But I can't hold her, not anymore. The only way I can is in my dreams. I now live in Jeju Island and at night that's when all the stars come out. I would sit outside on the porch at night and that's when I would dream of Gwen. Her face began to fade from my memory slowly. Which slowly made me forget things and different memories except for that one. It haunted me that my mom would do this. How she hurt me physically and emotionally. Every day is now the same for me until now. I answer my dad's call for the first time in almost two years. I wait for him to speak.
"My son..." Hearing those words...
"Hello, dad"
"H-how are you"
"How are you," We say at the same time.
"I am good," He answers, and before he could ask 'and you' I speak.
"What do you need dad?"
"You know your dad too well?"
"It's always something with you"
"You remember the deal from 2 years ago?" I do. The arranged marriage.
"Yes"
"It's going to happen at the beginning of next year in the winter so I need you to get out from wherever you are and come to Seoul. It's time you met your future wife. Book a flight and come quickly," He hangs up the phone. I guess it's time I leave and start a new chapter in my life. That afternoon, I book a flight and take the plane to Seoul South Korea at night.
I arrive at my dad's house. I walk down the path and when I get to the door. I move my hand to knock on the door but I stop. Did I make a mistake in coming here? Suddenly a little boy opens the door.
"Hello Im Joo-Hyuk," He says in Korean. "Who are you?" Then I realize it must be the only person he could be. My little stepbrother.
"I am your older brother," His mouth opens wide.
"Alejandro!" He runs to me and hugs me unexpectedly. "Mom has told me so much about you" I see my stepmom come to the door. She comes to give me a hug also. It's a nice hug but I can't seem to smile. I look over their shoulders and see my dad. My stepmom and Joo-Hyuk let go of me.
"Alejandro," He opens his arms wide and I walk to his arms. We give each a man-hug.
"Hi, dad" I follow him inside.
"No, wait, dad, can I play with Alejandro?" Joo-Hyuk runs to dad grabbing his arm. Dad kneels with one leg to match Joo-Hyuk's height.
"You can play with him after-"
"Honey, just for a few minutes won't do you any wrong," Stepmom interrupts him. He looks her way.
"Fine," Dad smiles genuinely. A smile I have missed. A smile I haven't seen since I was young. Dad, I am glad you are happy.
"Yay," Joo-Hyuk reaches for my hand and pulls me up the many stairs until we reach the top floor. This little boy is fast. I'm 29, I am getting too old for this. He leads me to a light blue room. It has ropes where he can climb. He has a dry erase board and a chalkboard. He has toy cars and blocks. He has legos along with little toy furniture with more toys in them. It still looks like a baby room. I wonder how old is he? He looks up at me. He is such a cute kid.
"Joo-Hyuk-ah, how old are you?"
"5 almost," He gives me the biggest smile. I love kids so much. He leads me to his toys. We play tag and hide in seek in the room for a while. "Hyung, I can call you that?"
"Yes, you can"
"Why don't you smile?"
"Because of a lost memory"
"What is that?" I pet his head.
"Nothing important for you to know," As we begin to play with the cars I see a little place on the roof that looks like you can go upstairs but there aren't any stairs to go up. "What is that?"
"My secret playroom. Do you want to see?"
"If you let me," I sound like the little brother. We stand at the end. Joo-Hyuk presses a button and a latter slowly comes out of the part of the ceiling. He climbs up first. I place my head behind him in case he falls back. After he reaches the flat surface I climb too.
"Come on hurry, Big brother," I follow him and we reach a tiny room with a tiny bed, a tiny desk, and a chair. He has a little lamp on top of his desk. "Look around, don't break anything," I notice a notebook on his desk. I open it as he makes his bed. I open it to a random page. It's a letter.
Dear Alejandro Hyung:
Today I went to a garden with mom and dad. It was a cool garden. I don't remember what it was called but dad said you came here before. We took many pictures. Dad even said I am growing quick. I am going to be taller than you when I grow up. I hope to meet you soon.
I see a picture tapped at the bottom of the page. I shed a tear. It's a picture of them in the garden. The garden when me, my mom, and dad were happy. Happy. This time it was Joo-Hyuk who was going to be happy. He is going to be happy. I glance over at him. He does his bed with the biggest smile. To be honest, who does their bed with a smile? He finished making his bed.
"Big brother, close your eyes," I close my eyes. He pulls me by my hand. I hear a door open. A sudden cool wind hits my face. "Now you can open," We are on a tiny porch outside the room. I never noticed this before. The breeze refreshes me.
"What is this little place?"
"It's a little place where I can look outside. Even more so when my parents tell me to clean my room. Hashimoto-san built this place for me." Of course, he did. He always helped me escape family like this.
"I thought he stayed in Australia?"
"Well, he goes anywhere we go and for now we are here in Seoul for a while"
"Oh"
"Ahhhhh," He shouts. I think my ears fell off.
"Why did you do that?"
"It feels good. Try it"
"Ahhhh," I join him. It does feel good. It's a little like letting out your pain, anger, and grief all at once. I get a text on my phone. Its dad. He wants to talk now. I start to head back down. Joo-Hyuk stops me holding his arms so I don't go downstairs.
"Don't leave...please." Those words. I don't want to hear them.
"Dad called me. I got to go for a little okay?"
"You won't leave right?"
"I won't. I'm not running anymore," I say to him heading downstairs to my dad's office. When I reach my dad's office, I notice a woman.
"You are here," My dad and the woman stand up from their chairs. "I want you to meet your future wife, Chae," I walk to her. She has blonde short hair but her roots are black. She has almond-shaped eyes with a dark shade of brown with a button nose and heart-shaped lips. She is about 5'7.
"Nice to meet you, Park Alejandro," Chae-m Choi says.
"You can just call me by my name," I tell her. She smiles. My dad signals us to sit down.
"Alejandro, you agreed to an arranged marriage"
"That is correct"
"With this marriage, we will become partners with C.C.C. You will have a conference announcing your marriage today after your date" Date? Now? "...and next year in January you will get married," We shake our heads yes. "You two can decide on the place." Do we have to decide here?
"I feel like eating..."
"Chicken." Chae-m Choi and I say at the same time. We laugh.
"It's set then," He takes out his phone. "I have booked a place at the best chicken place. I warn you there will be reporters. You need to get to know each other and become a real couple, Okay?"
"Yes"
"Chae, I have a stylist for you. When you leave this room head right and on your left should be a room where our stylist can design you"
"Thank you"
"Alejandro, I will leave it up to you to choose what you want to wear...Other than that you all are free to go do your thing" Dad says as me and my fiancee stand up. We leave the room and I shut his door.
"Hey, Alejandro," I hear Chae-m Choi call my name.
"Yes"
"I hope we get along. I have never liked anyone so maybe this could be the start for both of us"
"It can...See you in a bit?"
"Yeah," She tilts her head and enters the stylish room. I go back upstairs to see if Joo-Hyuk is still there. I knock on the door of his playroom. He opens the door.
"You're back"
"I told you I would be but now I am going to leave for a date"
"Take me with you"
"No, Joo-Hyuk. This is an adult date. I and a woman are going to go on a date"
"What is a date?"
"Well, it when a man and a woman go on a play date and they get to know each other as friends"
"Oh." I tried my best to explain. "Dad said you are going to stay for a while so does that mean you can spend more time with me?" I poke his nose.
"Of course," I mess with his hair and head to my room to find out what I am going to wear. I open my closet. I don't want to wear anything special. I choose a plain white shirt with dim-gray dress pants. I choose black dress shoes. I slide a silver skinny silver chain around my neck. I grab a silver plain ring on my left pointer finger. I put another one on my right thumb. I take one of the watches my dad has given me. I choose a silver one so it matches. I walk downstairs and I see Chae-m waiting on the couch. She wasn't wearing makeup like before. She is wearing a white dress with heels. That would make her almost as tall as me. She wore a black coat that reached her feet.
"I was ready before you"
"Yeah. Let's get going" We walk out the door and a limousine is waiting for us. We get in and on our way to the restaurant, it's silent. I don't know what to talk to her about. We get out of the limousine. There are already reporters waiting. My dad must have tipped them. I hold Chae-m's hand. If I am going to be in an arranged marriage, I might as well play my part. She looks at me surprised.
"Alejandro, is this your girlfriend?"
"What is the relationship between you two?"
"We thought you were in a relationship with the author Gwen Rio" That name makes me freeze in place. She is an author now? I face the reporters.
"Chae-m and I are announcing our engagement here." Cameras takes more pictures. We walk inside the Chicken restaurant. I tell the server we are only two and he takes us to a table on the second floor. I already feel stressed with those few seconds in front of the cameras.
"That was a lot," She laughs.
"It was"
"How do you like your chicken?"
"Spicy, you?"
"I like it very spicy"
"We should order one spicy jalapeno chicken then. I wanted to ask you something. Why do you fake smile?" She stares at me. She knows what I am talking about.
"How did you kno-"
"I learned how to read people according to their facial expressions and what they said. By looking at their eyes I knew." I learned from you...Gwen.
"In my life, people would always look at how pretty I was, if I had good grades and if I was rich. All the friends I have ever had used me. When a guy liked me, he would say that he only liked me to be popular or because I was the prettiest girl in the school. I didn't want to be known just for that. I wanted people to get to know me. To ask me questions about my life and listen. I would have wanted them to tell me about their lives. I wanted to learn how to trust. My family never acknowledged me as much as I would have wanted because they were always working. I would learn how to cook by myself, how to play with dolls by myself, how to put myself to sleep and read bedtime stories. From then I would fake smile"
"I hope I am someone who can at least fill that void with a little happiness." I accepted the fact that I was going to get married. She blushed. I see the waiter brings us the spicy chicken and we eat" haven't eaten chicken since I don't know, I can not remember. That evening we learned so much about each other. We automatically started random conversations out of the blue. I will admit she is a good person. I felt like maybe if I tried in time, I could fall in love with someone else.
2 days before my wedding
It is now winter. I decided to go to Jeju island where my house is. Jeju Island is beautiful in the winter. I wanted to go to the Hallasan Mountain, something I couldn't do while I lived here because I locked myself from the outside world. The Hallasan mountain is the tallest in South Korea. I wanted to go somewhere I have not gone since I was a little kid. I wanted to go alone this time. I needed time to think and reflect on myself. My life was going to change in the next two days. Inside I wasn't ready but on the outside, I acted as if I was ready.
I reached my house in the morning. I was so tired so I slept all day until the night. I began to walk to the top of the Hallasan Mountain, I am so tired. It's weird, I feel as if something is pulling me. It's a relief I brought water with me. I reach the top of the mountain. I can not believe my eyes I feel as if I can just reach my arms out and I could catch a star with my hands. I sit down on one of the benches. I stare at the stars for a while. It's starting to get really cold. I pull the hood of my jacket over my head. I sense someone stare at me. I turn my head and instantly stand up.
"Gwen," I say watching her stare at me. No emotion shown on her face. Her face is pale. One of her legs is bandaged and the other is bandages on her thigh. I notice my grandpa beside her. His hands are pointing out as if she is about to fall. My grandpa looks up.
"Alejandro?" Gwen turns around and heads the other way. She tries to move as fast as she can. I run and stop in front of her making her fall back. She loses balance and falls to the ground. She holds the part of the leg that is injured.
"Why did you come back?" The first words I hear. Grandpa helps Gwen up. "Why?... Why are you here out of all places you could have gone." I don't say anything.
"You have no right to ask me that"
"Alejandro! How dare you. Just leave. Why did you approach her, approach us? You said you didn't want to hear from us and that you didn't care about Gwen"
"I just want to talk to her!" I yell at him.
"No!" Gwen puts her hand in front of Grandpa.
"Don't yell. It hurts my head. Let me talk to him"
"It is not good for yo-"
"It's okay Grandpa. You can trust me. I can do this" Grandpa? I follow Gwen. She sits on the bench that I was sitting at. I sit next to her. After a short silence, I say something.
"How have you bee-"
"Cut the small talk...please Alejandro." I would always love her saying my name but its no longer the way I want her to call me.
"I missed y-"
"Do not"
"Why are you being like th-"
"How can we live like this Alejandro?" Her eyes move to me, "How can we live like this? How will we ever move on and be happy if we keep reminding each other of our past? We are scared of the world and those around us making us not trust"
"What is that supposed to mean?" My eyes become watery.
"Let's not see each other ever again...please...not for your sake or my sake but for both of us and our future" Snow comes out of the sky. Little by little. We stare at the snowflakes fall. She stands up and grabs her crutches walking away. I sob.
"Gwen...Im sorry I said those things," I cry with many tears fall down my face. She stops.
"...then you should have come to me. You should have taken care of me as you promised. You promised to be there for me!" She yells, "You neglected us. I am still sick. Yes. You are not helping but the worse thing is I-I-" Her eyes begin to close. Tear falling one by one like the snow.
"Gwen. Wake up," Grandpa tells her, "Go to the car, Can you do that?" She nods her head yes and heads out. "Let me tell you a story. Have you ever wondered why Gwen would call you L.S.?" I have always wondered. "It's a story her parents told her when she was younger. It is called 'My little Star' it is about a little fish and a little star being there for each other when they were sad. In the end, the star had to leave but he promised the little fish he would come back to give her a hug. Years passed and still no little star. Then one day he comes back and gives her that hug he promised"
"Why would she call me that then?"
"That's something you have to ask yourself...I am telling you this because I want you to know that words don't say what is in someone's heart or head. She cares about you...don't forget that" Grandpa walks away. I stand there. Alone.