He walked back to his room, his heart pounding. He was a guy who had his heart stepped on recently, so him having a back bone to even say anything was not going to happen. You might be surprised by how many men just don't have the courage to express their concerns or wonder about things.
He threw everything in his suitcase and took a quick shower, his thoughts going a mile a minute; and all while his heart was pounding. He wanted nothing more than to pen his mouth but hell if anything came out. So, like the dumbass he was, he walked away. And he sure as hell now didn't have the courage to go back and say anything. Not that there was time. The boat docked which means you had to get off as quickly as possible.
He sighed as he quickly got dressed, packed up the stuff and headed out of his room. He knew his flight left after hers, but he should be arriving around the same time. He shook his head as he hailed a cab once he left the dock. And so what if he saw her? Was he going to do? It's not like the courage was there.
He still wasn't sure about any type of relationship. Although, he knew damn good and well that Ms. Theresa was a whole different kind of woman. One who was good and true. But, he was still a scared and worried fool. And sometimes those internal scars were harder to get rid of than external ones. He ran his hands over his face, sighing yet again.
Sometimes, he wished he was a powerful man, that maybe that would make him stronger, more able to stand up for what he wanted, to be a stronger voice. But that wasn't him. He knew that some women would view him as weak, his ex's sure as hell did. Though, he wasn't, not in a lot of ways. But letting someone go, wasn't hat viewed as being weak?
He leaned his head back against the seat and groaned as he watched the passing scenery. His phone dinged and he quickly pulled it out, praying that was her. But he frowned as he saw the name. He wasn't sure he could deal with his ex at the moment. His mind in way too much of a turmoil and he just couldn't deal with her on top of everything. So, he ignored the text and shoved his phone back in his pocket.
He checked in for his flight and glanced back at his phone as he made his way to his gate. He had lucked out when he booked this flight as it was a direct flight back from Miami to LA while she had a layover. As least the five hour flight would give him time to sleep and try to rack up his courage.
God, we may not date, but we could at least talk right? He mentally kicked himself again for being that dumbass, but what could he say? He looked at his phone again, knowing her plane would be air bound already, so any messages would have to wait.
"Really Howie?" he muttered to himself. He knew his sisters would probably slap him silly. But, the truth also was, he was sent on that boat to help heal, not to be screwing around, or trying to get into something so soon. "God damn it," he muttered yet again.
You would think that there would be self help books about relationships and not how to screw them up right? He shook his head as he heard the call for his flight to start boarding. He grabbed his bag and quickly got on the plane, taking his first class seat by the window. Well, he had a few hours to figure out just what he was going to do.
-----
Five hours and 23 minutes later, he was walking off the plane in LAX, his heart pounding fiercely. He checked the boards for the incoming flights, found the right one and made his way over, silently praying that she would be there.
"She has to be," he kept mumbling over and over to himself. He stopped at the gate and looked around, seeing no lingering people. So he started walking down the walkway, his eyes darting all over. "Please," he whispered, and then he stopped walking.
He saw a woman from behind, and after being curled up next to that body all night, he knew it quite well. But the man that was currently holding her, and kissing her deeply, that man she was holding onto, was someone he didn't know. Although, he had a very good guess, and he was not pleased. So, he clenched his jaw, glad now, that he hadn't poured his heart out and walked away from the scene before him. For even though they were in a hell of a lip lock, he recognized that to be Mike. She lied like every other female, and ended up falling for those fake charms of his. And he. Was. Done.