Does losing something significantly important devastate a human? Will it go so far as changing their personality? Suppose it does, will this certain human be the same person as he was yesterday? If he was called Julio yesterday, will he be Julio today and tomorrow? Even if he is still called Julio today and tomorrow, will his friends and family still recognize him? Suppose they will, will their treatment of Julio change? If it changes, will he still be treated as the same Julio yesterday? Will he still be Julio?
I am awake. Definitely. And, I slept well. Really well. However, I am still floating in my dream. I have never felt this sluggish to rise from sleep. It is perhaps because I was reading until I fell asleep that I never knew what happened to Julio.
As I heard a couple of knocks, I opened my eyes and found my face buried in a book. I rose my head and turned to my back. The door opened and a young woman with a ruffled apron went inside.
"Did you sleep before a book again, Lady Talia?" She walks to my side and picks the book. "And, you did not bathe last night AGAIN. Just because no one is here to reprimand you, doesn't mean you should not listen to me."
"But I wanted to finish the book last night," I pouted.
"And you did not. You are not clean enough. Your back will hurt and you will grow with a hunchback. Then, no one will ever consider you for marriage, not even King Rupert II." She places the book back on the shelves. "The breakfast is ready."
"Is not King Rupert II a considerate king? Can he still revoke our marriage even with the legal arrangements?" I asked as I walked to my wardrobe.
"A King's word is law even in overseas. And, Kings displease unsightly ladies," she pushed the chair unto the desk and walked back to the door. "The wind will turn the soup cold, Lady Talia. I will be back in the kitchen if you need anything."
She walked out and closed the door. Elva is certainly the sweetest but I wanted to finish the book. I changed my clothes and put on my undergarments and the lime satin wrapper that I got from Father during my decennial. It was the first present I received from my family.
Was I overjoyed? I was most certainly surprised. A servant had given it to me that day months ago. I missed my chance of catching a butterfly when I was taking my forenoon walk to receive it. A child's first decennial is supposed to wish for more decennials to come in her life, but the words passed by the servant to me were:
"Be certain you are worth King Rupert II and I agreed on."
I only see Father and the rest of my family from afar. They reside in the manor where I have never been into. Only servants would dare to speak and stand next to me.
Am I sad? Am I lonely? Surely, I am bored. My world rotates endlessly in this tower and the few yards around it. There is a limit on how much I can do here. That certainly makes me sadder. Traveling to places I have never seen before just like that book I recently finished reading would erase this boredom.
I arrived before the dining room and took my seat. Elva had prepared the same breakfast as yesterday but this time it is fowl, not beef. As I slice the undercooked egg, the yolk gushes out in a wave.
I wonder what those wide waters look like. The book I am reading contains mysterious illustrations I have never seen before. If I recall correctly, one of them was called a sea. A place having myriad water compared to when I bathe. If people bathe there every day, no one will be called dirty and we will all be clean, not worrying if there is enough water for the next days.
"Did the breakfast not satisfy your taste, Lady Talia?" Elva is suddenly standing at the ajar kitchen door. Is she a sorcerer?
"No. I was thinking something amazing, Elva."
"Leave your daydreams during a meal. It is inappropriate." She sighed.
"I understand." As I took a bite from the bread, she walked out to the corridor. I know I must practice proper manners at all times, but why did adults in The Adventures Of Grim Dolly* let children do whatever they want?
I finished my breakfast and walked back to my room to bathe myself. Elva is a busy beaver. She does every chore in the tower and even tends to the flowers nearby. Assisting me with everything I do would disturb her. It would also make her more exhausted than ever. I wonder if she ever gets a break.
As I set out for a walk, I saw her carrying a basket full of linen walking to the back. Do I need to work as hard as her when I turn to adulthood? Do queens need to work? I do not want to be an adult.
The stone rolls to the dahlias as I kick it. A bee hovers above the dahlias and lands on the one behind. Are bees and butterflies friends? Relatives? Merlind says they feed on the same nectar.
I crouch to watch the bee having its breakfast. "Beeee. Bee? Bee." How do bees speak? I wonder if it understands me.
Familiar voices wander in my ears. I stood and walked to where it came from. Few yards before the manor was an ebon rail coach* while several figures were standing in between. After glancing at my sides, I run creepily unto the nearest wall.
"—sh you luck, my dear."
"Junos will guide us to victory. We will definitely be back when it is over, Adela." After he caresses Lady Adela's face, he turns to the rail coach. "We shall depart now, son."
The less robust man who was embracing Adela wipes his face and follows into the rail coach. The worried faces of the three women gloom behind Adela as the rail coach drives away. They gradually walk indoors and the sombrous air dissipates.
I saw them nearer than I used to. It seems my brother's nose was taken from Lady Adela's as Father's nose is strangely sharp. I wonder why they looked so troubled. Did something bad happen? Is something bad happening? Will something bad happen?
As I walk back, I smile. Sneaking is interesting. This sneaking feeling is fun. I decided to walk further than I used to. As I follow the path behind the tower, I arrived at the garden.
The flowers here look very different than the ones around the tower. There are taller and bigger trees. I walk further in and found myself amid the garden. The ground was now cemented and ivory chairs and a table are here too. What are these doing here?
I took a seat and saw a pond beside. I crouched before the pond and stared at it. An azure fish with a yellow tail surfaced. With my finger, I gradually touched its head. The fish swims away. Wonders after another!
"And, whut is Lady Talia doin' 'round 'ere?"
I turned my head and saw a soiled pallid towel around a man's neck carrying a pail of water. Who is this?
"Do you eat the fish?" I asked.
He puts the pail on the ground. "We eat fish but don' eat fish in da pond."
"Are not fishes to be eaten?"
"Not'll fish can be eat. Thut one cain' be eat."
"Why is the fish here, then?"
"Ya see, Baron's gist love see fish in da pond. Dey have tea n' watch da fish swim."
"Why?"
"Dey love n' da fish's 'ere." He carries the pail again. "Ya'd better go bak. Dey'll certainly punish ya if dey saw ya 'ere." He walks away.
I walked fast following him. "They had difficult faces when I saw them earlier. I bet only you will see me here." His steps were twice wider and faster than mine even with the pail. "Whut's yer called?"
Suddenly, his steps ceased. "Smart, aintcha." He puts the pail on the ground and bows. "Mendell Goodman, Lady Talia. Forgive me for the late introduction for I had assumed you still remember me."
"Oh, you can speak normally. Have we met before?"
Mendell rises carrying the pail and continues to walk. "Indeed. We played yers ago when Elva brought ya 'ere ons."
"I see. I can forget things."
Mendell stopped walking and crouched touching the soil. We arrived before an empty lot. He walks around and sprinkled the water.
"Is there something in the soil?" I stared at the soil.
"Seeds. Dey are undur. Dey'll grow next month."
"What seeds?"
"Tomatoes. Ya eat 'em?"
"I do not wish to but Elva always tells me to leave nothing on my plate."
"Dese tomatoes are delishoos."
"Are you certain?"
"Aye. If I plant 'em, dey'll delishoos." As the bell from the town hall rang twice, I remembered something.
"Mendell, I have to leave."
"Ya go."
"I will eat your tomatoes if they are indeed delicious," I shouted while I hurried back to the tower.
On the path, a bird was chirping on the ground. I ceased my breath and tiptoed to its back. Gradually, I spread my fingers down to catch it. However, the bird flew in an instant. Does a bird have eyes on its back? I resumed my run.
As I opened the door of the tower, Elva was standing with her hands on her waist before me. Is she really a sorcerer? She remained silent as I opened the door.
"It is past the ninth bell." Her eyes pierced through my existence. "Where were you, Lady Talia?"
"I was walking among the dahlias," I said with a smile. "Then, there was a bee. It did not seem to bother me as I stare at it having its breakfast."
"After?"
"I figured how Father, Laurin, Lady Adela, Lady Linda, Hermine, and Theodosia looked." As my eyes gleam with wonder, Elva's stayed fiery.
"Did you went to the manor?" Elva raised an eyebrow.
"I did not. I saw them outside. The women looked grim while the men were filled with valor. Why did Father say Junos will give us victory?"
"The war is anticipated to end today. You must have been near them to have heard their conversation."
Elva frowned when I made a self-satisfied grin saying, "I have good hearing, Elva."
"After?" She ignored what I said. I was quite near them but I indeed have good ears.
"I went to the garden," I said looking down.
"Lady Talia, I will be in good trouble if they found out you went to the garden." She puts her hands down from her waist.
"Well, that was the first time I crossed the borders. Only Mendell saw me."
"Do not do it again. Please." I nodded. "A letter from Lady Merlind arrived a while ago. Due to the lockdown of entire Thaedora in the next hour, Her Ladyship will not arrive."
"Why?"
"No one knows how Leovia will end the war. It is better to be cautious."
I started walking upstairs. "Another thing, lectures are to resume tomorrow with Her Ladyship. She reminds you to do your reading." I nodded. "I will prepare your lunch ahead of time. Lady Talia, do not go out." I continued upstairs. "Did you hear me?"
Another idle day with nothing new to do. "I understand." Going back to the garden would have been fantastic but Elva prevents it. I turned left as I arrived on the upper floor and took the stairs to my room. I opened the door heading to the shelves where Elva had inserted the book. I sat down, turned the pages, and resumed to where I left off.
The door creaks open. "Talia. Talia." I glanced behind me and saw a lad slightly taller than me in a burgundy tricot sailor suit.
"Wilfried!" I stood. "How did you arrive here? Did Elva saw you?"
"I took the last train to Ghurein a couple of hours ago but did not know where you live so I had to search while sneaking."
I walked to him. "But you have been here many times."
"I was with Aiden and the rail coach but I am here alone." He takes his cap off.
"Valor." I smiled. "Where is Elva?"
"I heard her talking with a servant. Lady Adela had called all servants to pray for Junos."
"I see. Are we losing?" I followed him downstairs.
"Father said the victory will be for Thaedora. Father never lied to me. Were you reading again?"
"Yes. I wanted to go back in the garden but I am not allowed to go where I am not supposed to."
"I found something interesting in the forest. Would you come?" He stopped and faced me.
"Elva told me not to go out. Going to the forest would put her in trouble too."
"She will not know. We will go there with no one seeing us and be right back in a haste."
"Are you certain about that?"
"I have never lied to you, have I?"
I ran to the kitchen. "What time is it, Wilfried?" I picked the cookies in the oven, wrapped them with a cloth, and put them in my pocket.
"As I sneaked in the estate, the eleventh bell rang. What are you doing?"
As I came back to him, I gave him a cookie while I took a bite on the other one in my hand. "Rations. I am not to skip my lunch." I took the step ahead of him. "Elva's cookies have chocolates and they taste best. Let us go."
When we opened the door out of the tower, we glanced at our sides and ran hastily. After speaking with me on the first occasion when his family visited Father almost a couple of years ago, Wilfried found a hole in the wall surrounding the estate. Every time he visits me, he would sneak into the hole to the tower.
Aiden, his foremost attendant, who is usually with him would keep this secret from his father. It seemed the more Duke Gerald prevents him to do his escapades, the more he escapes from his attendants. I wish I had his courage.
We arrived in the forest panting. As we looked back at the grand manor with an unusual tower many yards on its left, we laughed rolling on the grasses. Wilfried stood and rushed deeper into the trees while I follow his back. The trees looked tall but I bet the tower is taller.
Suddenly, Wilfried stopped in his tracks. I gradually walked to his side mesmerized by the landscape before my eyes. A tree bigger and taller than everything around it stood the mightiest. Underneath it was a crystalline pond surrounded with butterflies hovering over the flowers which were not dahlias and the ones in the garden.
"Interesting, is it not?" I could hear his heavy breaths synchronizing to mine.
"Dumbfounding." I have never seen these many butterflies in varied colors. I thought there are only orange butterflies.
Wilfried ran to the flowers while the butterflies flew away. He went jumping waving a branch which he had picked. "Talia, look here." He held the branch with his both hands when fire emits from it.
I walked to him. "How did you do that?"
"Sir Raileigh taught me fencing and manipulating magic." He waves the fiery branch in the air. The branch did not seem to burn, strangely.
"I saw Elva use magic few times before."
"Do you know how to do it?"
"Lady Merlind's lectures were only about books. And, when I asked Elva to teach me, she refused and told me I am not allowed to use it."
Wilfried started to fence fighting the air. "Adults are stingy. I bet they start to teach you after your coming of age. I did not learn it until recently." He stopped and looked at me all of a sudden. "I could teach you, maybe."
"You can?"
"Well, I can only tell how Sir Raileigh taught me." He picks another branch on the grass and hands it over to me. "You hold this with your hands and visualize magic."
Following his instructions, I held the branch with my hands. "How do you visualize magic?"
"I guess you close your eyes. That was the first time I used magic with my eyes open. Visualize energy like," he paused, "like lights in your body, I guess?"
I closed my eyes. Energy? Light. He continued, "Afterwards, visualize and feel that the lights gradually flow in your hands channeling to the vessel, the branch. As it arrives in the branch, imagine it on fire."
Feel the light. Hand to branch. Fire. "Will the fire hurt?"
"I do not think so."
As I feel my hands warming, I opened my eyes but there was no fire on my branch. I recalled what I thought I must have done something wrong. "Why is it not fiery?"
"That is strange. That was how Sir Raileigh taught me."
I threw the branch and walked. "Maybe I cannot do it."
"I do not know about that. Maybe you can do it someday just not today."
I arrived at the pond. "I think so."
"Hey, Talia! Look! Look!" I heard him exclaim behind me. I looked and saw the grass before him on fire.
"What did you do?"
"It is not what I did, it is what you did. The branch you threw is burning."
As I ran back, the fire is gradually going down. "I did." The branch and the grass around it turned into ashes. "Why did it burn?"
"I do not know. Fire if created through magic does not burn and magic vessels are not supposed to burn." He looked at me. "It is not magic? Perhaps because your mother is a witch."
Father had told me the same thing from a servant's mouth years ago. It seemed to be a witch is something you should not be and a child is something you should not have.
"I read that witchcraft is about rituals and herbs."
"Sorcery, it is. Why would you know about it?"
"I know nothing of it, though."
"That is strange."
"Strange." We walked not being able to figure out what had just happened. Was that the reason why Elva told me not to use it? I picked a pale red flower. It smelled sweet.
"You want to go to places, do you not?" I looked to Wilfried with a petal in my mouth. "Is it delicious?" I took the petal.
"Despite its sweet smell, it tastes nothing at all." I threw it away with the flower.
"So, I asked Father about it. Being the queen of Daria, you will have to follow King Rupert II's words and queens remain in the castle. Baron Godfrey does not want to keep you any longer so he must marry you off."
"Did Duke Gerald say that?" I asked him.
"Yes. So, I asked him if I could marry you." I turned to face him. "He said when I turn sixteen, I could."
"What would happen if I marry you?"
"We could go over the seas and maybe fly over the mountains!" He sounds more excited than I am.
"Flying over mountains would be insane." But great if we could. "Oh, you will turn sixteen a month before I turn thirteen."
"Indeed. We could play all day, go to places, and no one will reprimand us for that."
We talked and played for the next hours. We spoke about going to places I saw in illustrations and paintings. How I sneaked to hear my family's conversation and going to the garden. Wilfried spoke of accompanying Duke Gerald in the castle and meeting with the king's ten children a week ago. How he walked the entire city while waiting for his father from the castle.
When the sixteenth bell came, we decided to part ways. "I will visit again on the Kalends!" He waved while running. I walked to the path back to the estate. The trees gradually lessen from my eyes. As I reached the end of the forest, I saw the manor and tower I left hours ago.
I ran in haste as I felt confused about what I saw. As my ears are good, my eyes are as good. I have never been wrong about what I see but this time I want it to be a mistake.
I walked in through the ruptured gates. The most magnificent structure in the town of Ghurein is now in pieces before me. The cemented road in the estate was cracked while the tree near the manor lost half of its leaves. I glanced at the tower which is still standing but the walls are breaking down little by little. As I look over the side of the town I could see, everything faced the same damage.
Running to the ruins, the woods were burnt and the walls were broken. I walked further into the ruins. I saw a finger buried under. When I try to dig down taking one rubble after another, I saw Theodosia's face covered in blood. As I touch her chest, her heart was not pounding. I stood searching for another body.
A yard away at my side, I saw a purple velvet. I walked before it and dug into seeing Lady Adela. I searched for another body again. I dug in few places. Then, I had found it. I could not see her face for the last time. However, Elva was wearing the only verdant frock she had this morning.
Notes:
*2032 A.D., Aprilis 23. — Year 2032 anno Deus (in the year of our Gods), Aprilis (2nd month of the year) 23 (8th day before the Kalends). Refer to the Luvian Calendar in the Auxiliary Volume.
*The Adventures Of Grim Dolly — a book Talia had read.
*Rail coach — is a coach running on rails powered by magic. Nobles and royalty own private rail coaches while the middle class and commoners use the train for transportation which is also powered by magic.