WARNING : A mild mention of suicide related matters. If you don't like it or are triggered by it, skip when you see #⚠ till you see it next. If you can read it, go ahead. Enjoy, and thank you for reading.
Clare sat still in her seat as Hunter approached her like a man on a mission, which he most likely was, she added to herself.
She gasped when he came to stand directly in front of her.
"Please don't kill me." Clare blurted out before she could stop herself.
Hunter's eyebrows knit in confusion at the cowering girl in front of him. "I'm sorry, what?"
Clare dropped her hands that she had crossed in front of her face to protect against any attack when his blatant confusion penetrated through her panicky haze.
She glanced up at him and saw how confused he looked and mentally facepalm herself. Now, she would just come off as weird to the new guy in school.
Maybe that was why she had no friends. It was all due to her social awkwardness and nothing else.
"I-I'm sorry," Clare cleared her throat, adjusting one of the textbooks in front of her while she gathered herself. "Please don't mind me."
Hunter simply nodded his head and sat down beside her. He placed a book she had not noticed earlier before she pulled her embarrassing stunt, and began to read it ignoring her existence completely for the rest of the lunch break.
Clare shivered a little from the cold aura Hunter was giving off. Not as bad as the sudden blast this morning, it felt more like a really cool breeze whenever he adjusted his position.
Clare glanced up once in a while from her studying to peek at him, still feeling his eyes on her.
He seemed pretty engrossed in his book, not once looking up from it that she found it hard to believe that he had been staring at her all day. Maybe, it was just her overactive imagination.
On the other hand, Clare thought, if he had been attracted to her at first, he wouldn't be anymore after the way she had accused him of attempted murder..... well, sort of.
Which made her wonder what he was doing here, hiding away with her amongst oceans of books rather than in the cafeteria making friends.
Maybe he just loved reading or really valued his quiet time.
Clare quickly looked back at her book not wanting to come off as a creep as well for blatantly staring at him.
Whatever Hunter Pyrros liked or did not like was none of her concern. And she shouldn't waste her time trying to analyze his every move.
The rest of the week was scaringly similar to the day before. She kept having a dream of the white hall. Any door she opened always led to the same room. And she would always wake up once she grabbed any of the glass tablet.
It was getting frustrating the way she was not able to read the contents of the tablets. The curiosity was killing her and she had a feeling that whatsoever was written there was important.
The rest of the day would go by quickly. She attended all her classes and try to concentrate on her lessons. Jeff and his friends didn't bother her either.
They seemed to have gotten chummy with Hunter already so she expected that he would soon join them for lunch but to her surprise, he would come sit beside her in the library every lunch break.
He still did not talk to her or even indicate that he could see her, he would just sit down and engross himself in a book till it was time for classes to resume.
#⚠
Clare found herself peaking at Hunter again from the corner of her eyes. This time, he was reading a book titled Suicide Notes. Clare frowned realising that this was not the first suicide book she had seen him reading.
In fact now that she thought of it, all the books he had been reading the whole week were pretty grim.
"Do you have any problems?" Clare asked without thinking. By now you could tell that she was a very impulsive speaker.
Hunter finally looked up from the book to spare her a glance. "What do you mean?"
Clare gestured at the book. He blinked once, twice at her still looking lost. She contemplated minding her business as she had already gave herself a pep talk about Hunter every day of the week. Moreover, Hunter looked fine to her.
But she knew that one's status or look didn't necessarily tell about how the person felt. Ever since she became a teenager, she had always pretended to be fine to her adoptive mum and dad and they were none the wiser about what she goes through at school since they were always so busy.
Infact Julia thought she was a social butterfly, since she pretended that her visits to her aunt Lilith were actually visits to friends.
In the end, Clare could not bear the thought of someone taking their lives when life was already so short. So she decided to be more direct, if Hunter needed a true friend, She would be one.
"Are you planning to kill yourself?" She leaned in to whisper so as not to be overheard by any other person that might be in the library with them.
Hunter blinked rapidly as though very surprised by her question. He then leaned in bringing their faces closer shocking her in turn. "No."
Clare breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't gotten on the defensive or answered her question affirmatively. Seemed legit.
When his cold breath hit her face, she realized their position and quickly sat back in her seat. She had generally gotten used to his cold aura but his breathe on her face was a bit shocking. Who breaths out cold air?
She picked up her book without looking at it. "Then why have you been reading books like that? If you don't mind me asking"
"What if I mind?" He answered, also not going back to his book and giving her his full attention.
"It's fine, as long as you don't start getting any ideas." She turned back to her book.
Clare heard his chuckle and threw him a side glare. He looked good smiling like that, except it was at her expense so she didn't like it.
"I think it's fascinating. The idea of someone taking their own life. A lot of books tell you it's bad but I think it's as good a way to go as any."
Clare frowned at him. "It is bad."
"Maybe, maybe not." Hunter smirked as though he was enjoying an inside joke.
"Most of those that commit suicide do it because their lives are spinning out of their control and want to be able to have a say at least how they die. At the moment that someone takes their live, they temporarily feel in control, it's euphoric in a way. Then death snatches them away and that feeling is gone. Not very helpful in the end, but some people would take becoming a god for a few seconds than continue living a miserable life."
Coral watched Hunter skeptical about his thoughts on the matter. No matter how she looked at it, life was still too precious to be wasted. It was especially sad to her when people committed suicide due to being abused.
Their precious life is terminated while those who had bullied them or abused them or traumatized them continue to live their lives. Sometimes even happily without a single guilt.
"I don't think it's worth it."
"I know. You think it's the most horrible way to go. You think life is too precious to be wasted and should be lived in full regardless of whatever happens, am I right?"
Clare nodded surprised at how well he summarized her thoughts on the matter " How did you know?"
"It's just a friend of mine, She used to say that a lot." Hunter said with a sad smile. "You seem like you'd have the same views."
Clare felt her heart tug from seeing someone so sad, maybe the friend died or they were no longer friends since he referred to her in past tense. She wanted to ask but decided she had did enough prying for the day.
#⚠
"What do you think is the most horrible way to die?" She asked instead since they were on the topic.
The bell went off at that moment. Hunter picked his book and stood up. She also began to pack her books.
"The end goal is always the same, so it makes no difference to me." Hunter said making her pause to look at him. "What I would be scared of is disappearing from existence without a trace. You know, no one remembering you after you are gone." He turned and left the library.
Clare sighed at his retreating back. Hunter was right, that indeed sounded pretty scary.