"I don't want to and I don't care!"
Zulfa's shoulders slumped for a moment, I don't know since when the tears fell down her cheeks. This is the first time she has cried in front of Farel, a man who has the status of her husband but it feels like that status is only a mask of a reality slap.
Zulfa's eyes shone straight, emitting a deep pleading look, not letting her husband refuse what she was now asking for. Indeed, once she wished luck was on her side.
"I beg you, Farel..." Zulfa whispered with very sad eyes. Why does it feel so suffocating? Constantly wishing, and this was the first time she had asked Farel so much. Is it that hard to spend a little time with a Zulfa?
Farel glared at the woman in front of him who was crying and he thought it was very dramatic, maybe so that he had compassion and agreed to her request. He sighed and ruffled his hair roughly, what a shame to always be at such a disadvantage.
Farel is fed up with Zulfa's behavior, won't she let him rest at home for once? Enjoying a cup of coffee in the television room, ah but maybe that's just wishful thinking. "You go alone, I'm busy," he said in an even tone, even his eyes seemed reluctant to look at his wife.
And yes, for the umpteenth time Farel refused whatever Zulfa wanted. From going to the shopping mall, until now he didn't even want to go to his mother-in-law's house.
If Farel had to pretend, it was better not to just walk away. Wasting time just to put on a fake smile as if they were a harmonious family. They never look good together, sometimes sleep in separate rooms, even if they are in the same room, Farel will provide a bolster barrier between them.
Zulfa held the tightness in her chest. Almost every day they fight over trivial things. She had waited all this time until the clock struck midnight, but Farel still never considered herself there. Zulfa just wanted Farel to talk with her family, that's all.
"Just once, Farel. I beg you…" Zulfa repeatedly pleaded for the umpteenth time.
A mother's request is the thing Zulfa has been waiting for the most, to please a middle-aged woman who means a lot in her life. So, she really wouldn't be ashamed to humble herself to beg like this for Farel to come with her. It felt like screaming as if she was tired of being in a situation like this.
Farel who saw Zulfa's tears were getting heavier, immediately rolled his eyes, strange to the woman. "There's no need to beg like a cheap woman," he said firmly. If it was Rani begging like this, he would have hugged to calm the girl down, and probably wouldn't have put his beloved girlfriend in this situation.
But? Farel is blind in love with Rani. To be sure, his heart still follows the girl's name.
Surprised by what Farel said, Zulfa shook her head in disbelief while wiping the tears that fell down her cheeks --yes, even though it was useless because her husband's words only made her tears even harder--. "Farel, watch your words!" She cried did not accept.
In the word like a cheap woman by her husband? How's the pain? Anyone ever imagined? Ah no, it's enough for Zulfa to feel the bitterness of this marriage. A simple sentence, but it broke her heart in an instant.
The more silent Zulfa is, the more Farel acts arbitrarily. She was angry but always could not leave. Remember about the marriage agreement they said when they gave their consent.
Moreover, Zulfa does not want to be a widow in the future, she will certainly be judged badly in her surroundings. And yes of course the main reason is, she started falling in love with Farel. All right, it sounds stupid but her daily encounters with this man can't be helped if feelings of affection start to grow.
"You're getting more and more troublesome every day, Fa. The more you want, the more demanding that I become your husband. Remember your status, Fa. I have a lover, and you are just a woman between us." Farel said as he took off the jacket that was attached to his body, had just come home but was faced with a problem like this.
Farel ruffled his hair feeling cornered in a position that was never in his favor. He refused Zulfa's invitation because he wasn't ready to act like a son-in-law, maybe he would never be.
Zulfa's chest ached. Earlier in Farel's eyes, she was like a cheap woman and now she is considered to be very troublesome and demanding?
Sometimes a man's words are very capable of hitting the heart, men's words are very mean compared to women's words. Because men don't understand that every inch of his words can hurt a woman's heart. Yes, maybe they think it's normal and natural, but if you are in Zulfa's position, is it a natural thing?
"Besides, I bought jewelry for mom using my savings, Farel. It's not yours, so your money is safe." Zulfa said, thinking that Farel was upset because she gave her mother expensive jewelry using the man's ATM, actually the money that Farel gave was supposed to be for household needs.
Hearing Zulfa's explanation without asking, Farel raised an eyebrow. "I didn't ask about it, whatever you want," he said with an even expression on his face. That's true though, right? Nobody asked about it. Want to use it or not, Farel still gives weekly money with a nominal value of two million.
Imagine two million once a week for a month, and since getting married Zulfa rarely uses that money. How much money is in the ATM? Married to a Brahmana will never feel lacking in material matters, even though Farel wants to buy a car on the same day. But for the sake of love and affection, it seems that they must first succumb to the fate that is still on Rani's side.
"Just once, Farel. For us, for my mother," said Zulfa who still kept on persuading Farel even though she should have known that she would never want to walk side by side with her.
For a heart that is very strong in trials, I hope you get the right reward in the future. May the broken heart have a pedestal to stop and heal the heart. And for someone who doesn't have a heart that rejects the presence of destiny, may soon realize that the most difficult thing is choosing and not keeping someone who is completely unsuitable.
"Us? Remember, Fa. In my life, the word 'we' which means you and me, will never appear. Don't push fate too much." said Farel again reminding Zulfa about their relationship which is not at all worth hoping for in the future, after all, he also has no hope in this marriage.
Zulfa covered her mouth, trying not to make her cry louder. She didn't want to disturb the household members in this house, who must have known how ruined their master's marriage had been. "You, Farel. You always force fate." She said in disbelief. Farel always blamed her, she was like that, she was always in the wrong and gave in.
Farel chuckled, he understood very well that Zulfa wanted to bring Rani's name in their fight this time. He didn't like it. Rani doesn't deserve to be blamed, and no one else deserves that. Except for Zulfa, he had ruined everything. "Stop, Fa. I'm sick of it," he said choosing not to prolong any of this. He is tired of spending time with Rani, and he doesn't want to spend more time with Zulfa just to fight.
"As long as you want to go to my mother's house tomorrow, I will stop it, I won't make a fuss." Zulfa looked into Farel's eyes, she only wanted to convey through that gaze if she meant it.
"You're noisy," Farel said. He is reluctant to leave Zulfa if this problem is not over. Yes, this woman will always haunt him with various pleading words that are very diverse.
"I want you to accompany me tomorrow, all day long. I don't accept rejection." Zulfa said, who is now acting, does not want to be denied. If Farel can be like that, why can't she?
"I have an appointment with Rani, and I will not hesitate to always refuse you," said Farel who still didn't filter anything he said, even though the woman had already wet her face with tears, moreover the sound of her crying was very heart-rending.
Zulfa wiped her tears slowly and smiled sweetly. It was enough for her to remain silent, if there was something worth fighting for, she would fight for Farel. She will beat Rani, even if it takes a long time. Yes indeed, fighting for happiness is very difficult. And she doesn't care about all that stuff at all.
"I don't care, Farel," Zulfa said trying to hold back her tears from falling again. "Oh yeah, I forgot. I have prepared warm water if you want to take a shower, I have prepared clothes for you too." She continued, remembering that he had provided warm water before Farel returned to their house.
After speaking like that, Zulfa stepped towards the bed, laying herself down on the king-size bed. Entering dreamland without wanting to prolong this problem. She wasn't tired, she just gave up for good. After all, she also wants to fight for this marriage, is it reversed? Men have to fight for women.
"Selfish," Farel muttered while rolling his eyes. You'll see tomorrow, he won't do what Zulfa tells him to do. Who is that woman? Oh yeah, his wife huh? Ah, stupidly he didn't think about Zulfa's existence at all.
Once a parasite, always a parasite.
Rani remains his priority, not Zulfa. Is it easy to forget someone very precious in your life? Certainly not.
...
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