This morning it was eight o'clock in the morning and Zulfa finished preparing some breakfast menus for Farel, of course with Ijah's help. She could have cooked herself, but unfortunately, Ijah said she had no work anymore. Ijah was worried that later she would be silent because her work was finished. Well, at least there's still one job left, just a matter of cleaning the kitchen area after cooking for this morning.
"What time is Mr. Farel coming home, madam?"
Zulfa turned and found Ijah who was diligently cleaning the kitchen area, the middle-aged woman asked her but Ijah's gaze was still focused on the kitchen table which was quite dirty because the flour was accidentally bumped, so it was a little scattered.
She smiled slightly at the appearance of Ijah who was very diligent in her work. It turns out that Farel is very genius in choosing housemaids, not workers who underestimate their work and are negligent. But the next second, Zulfa immediately smiled bitterly, because she did not know where Farel had gone and was confused about how to answer the question.
"I don't know, maybe soon." Zulfa finally said, with a small smile. She didn't have any reasonable answers or to the point of lying to other people. If she didn't know, then she didn't know.
Ijah, who had finished cleaning the kitchen table from the scattered flour and had also washed her hands and dried them with a tissue, finally chose to approach Zulfa and gently stroked the shoulder of the hostess. "Auntie is one hundred percent sure that one day Mr. Farel will realize how precious Madam is," she said in a motherly voice. For some reason, the old woman did feel very concerned about the fate of the hostess.
Hearing those words made Zulfa smile, then invited Ijah to sit on the dining chair. Farel will not go home, as the man said if he will meet Rani's parents. Very sad. When invited to come to her mother's house, Farel refused so emotionally.
Does it sometimes feel stifling like this to be in a mismatched marriage? Stupid again, she still took the initiative to cook in the hope that when her husband came home he would be happy to eat her food. But for the umpteenth time, of course, it was just wishful thinking.
"Let's eat, Ijah," Zulfa said with a faint smile, deciding to eat first. Wanting to wait for Farel's arrival and eat together with that man seems very, very impossible, doesn't it? Because she was already sitting on the dining chair, her hands immediately took the rice and side dishes and devoured them without taste.
That any time she could eat at the same table as Farel tasted her food was an impossibility. Just imagine if he was at the same table, chatting about various topics, or even planning a vacation together. Isn't it bliss that warms the heart at the thought of all this? but only the pain of being indirectly slapped by reality.
Ijah, who knew about this, just obeyed, she knew very well that Zulfa was sad. Even wanting to interfere is not her business because Farel will threaten to fire her, finding a job at this age is very difficult so it must be done. "Madam, if you want to cry, don't hold it in. Just let it out, it's much more soothing than holding it all in." She said while sitting on the chair opposite Zulfa.
A very kind woman who never looked at caste because she was a housemaid, and also allowed Ijah to enjoy eating at the same table as the host's wife. Indeed Zulfa is a good person, but she has not been able to meet a fate full of happiness.
Hearing Ijah's words, Zulfa immediately lifted her head to look at the middle-aged woman who looked at her with pitying eyes, ah her gaze was so motherly. "No need, Ijah. Why cry over something that doesn't matter?" She asked with a very thin smile, clearing the tightness.
Zulfa's words are just words of sedation to neutralize the pain that is now lodged in her heart. She wanted to cry right now but saw the state she was in. Ah, but it's not good to eat while crying. Postpone crying first, think about things that make your peace.
Later when the stomach is a little filled, then you can cry. Because living life like this is very draining because a broken heart also requires enough energy. Right?
"Ijah, do you know the stain on my shirt that time?" Zulfa asked trying to change the topic. She may need time to rest her very tired brain but won't stop.
Ijah who wanted to put rice in her mouth immediately put it off for a while holding her spoon in the air. "Yeah, I know, it's pretty gross. What's going on, madam?" She answered in surprise. Because for some reason there is a stain under Zulfa's robe but it has a sweet smell.
Zulfa chuckled, for some reason, she remembered the figure of a very sweet and adorable little child. "There was a little kid who accidentally spilled it on my robe, she spilled ice cream," she says telling what happened to her clothes. Oh, sweet little girl.
Ijah was surprised to see the look on Zulfa's face which was now smiling, with her hands starting to put a spoonful of food into her delayed mouth.
Their relationship is like that of a mother and her child, it is undeniable that she knows Zulfa very well who likes small children. Not a pedophile or anything like that. But oh come on, who dares to resist the cute antics of adorable little children? A figure who does not have a myriad of sins --meaning that she is still holy-- without the burden of hardship in life at all. It seems that moments like that are the desires of adults who feel that the life they dreamed of as a child is not as beautiful as reality.
"Madam, are you all right?" Ijah asked while pouring mineral water into Zulfa's glass, this time maybe the woman in front of her was hallucinating which made her heart happy.
"Of course I'm fine, Ijah. What's wrong with me?"
"Anyway, Madam seems to be smiling to herself as if thinking of something pleasant."
Zulfa chuckled, then drank the water Ijah had just provided. "That little boy is so cute. Ah, I want to have children." She said, staring blankly in all directions. She didn't want Ijah to be disturbed by her words, even to the point of sympathizing with her out of pity.
"In that case, make Mr. Farel fall in love with you and present the little person you want to be in this house. I am sure, that a happy day will happen."
Ijah doesn't know how stupid Farel is who always takes care of Rani in his life. And his words just now were able to make Zulfa hold her breath because it must be impossible. She was never even touched at all by Farel. Ah yes, let alone touched, staring at her for a long time the man was very reluctant.
"That sounds hard to be true. Being with Farel just makes me sick. It's like holding a red rose. Lucky to get such a beautiful flower, but it hurts when a finger touches one of the thorns." said Zulfa, answering Ijah's suggestion, which seemed like only a dream and then crushed to the bottom of the earth.
Zulfa finished her meal by sipping a glass of water. "I'll go ahead first. Speaking of roses, I forgot to water the flowers in front of the house. You just continue to eat." She said as she took a glass of mineral water and took a sip. Finishing the meal with a plate that is, of course, clean of rice and side dishes, eating it must be clean.
"Yes later madam, I will clean the dirty dishes and cover the serving hood."
Alibi, that's what Zulfa is doing now. She just wanted to get away from the topic of conversation. She nodded her head and thanked her. She planted roses in the yard of this house because it is very beautiful and beautiful! So she was tempted to buy it.
Zulfa had moved from her seat, then started walking towards the big door which is the main door to enter and exit.
But her hearing caught someone's conversation.
"I love you, no matter what the circumstances."
Zulfa immediately pulled her body to the side near the windows on both sides of the big main door of her house. She looked outside carefully, afraid that whoever was out there would notice her presence, coincidentally the window was slightly ajar, allowing her to hear all the conversations coming from someone outside her house.
A familiar voice, a baritone voice that always confirmed to her that she was nobody in this marital status.
"I love you too, I don't want to lose you, baby..."
And again, a girl's voice, very familiar to her from the very beginning of that very unpleasant meeting that night.
It is certain now that Zulfa's chest feels tight, but the tears never show their form. Believe me, her breath was now very tight, as if he had felt very deep pain. Especially now that the two figures are visible in her eyes at this time.
Outside there were two people Zulfa knew very well. Two people who never cared about her presence, and two people who still walked calmly on the thin thread of her marriage to this man.
One sight that made Zulfa's legs feel more relaxed, she never expected to see an incident like this. And yes, Farel was seen kissing Rani's tiny lips affectionately. Zulfa's world shattered instantly.
When we build hope for someone, that's when fate slaps hard to bring us back to the real world. Not all expectations can be realized, even disappointment is often a reward for putting too much hope in someone.
Yes, that disappointment was felt by Zulfa.
...
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