Happiness is not eternal. No matter how hard you try to protect, the people who you want to stay close to, will fade away from your life one day. It's really sad how some people can only stay in your memories and not in front of you. The warmth that you once felt when they patted your head will never come back again. I hate those happy times, because happiness is like water, it seems endless to us but someday it will slip away from you before you know it. You take it for granted at first but later you condemn those actions.
This is what I started believing 10 years ago when I first experienced death in my life and maybe it was the last time I experienced death because now…I don't have anyone left to die on me.
My name is Vierne Obolensky, the last surviving member of the Obolensky family after the Red Floor tragedy. I lost my parents in that tragedy. My father was an Earl, we were, what the common people called us, an 'elite class family'. Even now in the 21st century, we were a rich and respected family in Moscow. After my parents' death, I am left all alone. I've become a shut in. I'm too afraid to go to public meetings or parties. I know my lifestyle is not normal.
I'm a monster. Whatever I touch will surely die, no exceptions. That's because of my hands. When I was seven, I suffered from an acute illness and lost my ability to feel and gained a curse on myself. If I touch something with my right hand, it breaks in thousands of pieces, be it an object, a plant or a human, anything living or non-living without exceptions. But my left hand is worse. Anyone, who I touch with my left hand breaks from inside. My left hand breaks feelings and precious memories. Hence I keep it covered with a black glove. I cannot do the same for my right hand as it will tear away the glove, so it's hopeless.
I want to meet mom and dad. I want to rest peacefully once and for all, but I can't. I can't die no matter what I do. So I decided to pass my life peacefully, locked up in these four walls, spending my time reading. I love books, because they don't change their opinions as time passes. They remain the same with their originality and reflect someone's true feelings.
My body does not perform any metabolic activities. I don't breathe, eat, or do anything. Even my heart has stopped beating. It's as if I'm a living corpse. I have lost the ability to live and the ability to die. Right now I'm somewhere between life and death, waiting for death. It's been 10 years already. I'm just being pulled by life.
Everyone thinks that this mansion is abandoned. It's me who decided to cut my contact with the world. I don't know if I have any relatives. Even if there are, somewhere in my heart, I don't have the courage to look at them in their eyes because the one who killed my parents is me.
I lost hope, both in myself and this world, a long time ago.
Vierne: "I finished this book too, maybe I should go to the store to get some more. What a pain, let's change then."
People think that there is no heir of the Obolensky family, but here I am, the current heir of the family. I only go out when it becomes absolutely necessary. Either way I don't have any basic food requirements like normal humans. It saves money as I don't want to spend the entire Obolensky family treasures. I want to have the least bit of contact with the outside world. I cannot afford another tragedy.
While coming back home all that I was thinking was how noisy it was outside and how many books I had purchased or would those books last for a month and suddenly I bumped into someone. It felt as if I was about to faint, I was hit really hard. I groaned as I touched my stomach. What the hell was this guy thinking? "Here it comes, stay calm, stay calm." Was what my conscience told me.
"Stay calm, don't create a fuss Vierne. That's right let him apologize and then just go your own way." Was what I was thinking. He looked like a primary school kid.
What I was thinking was why the hell was he so surprised? Had he never seen a girl before? And what was with his curly hair? There are three things I hate the most in this world, sticky things like butter, slouchy bugs and some special type of guys. Guys of three types which I hate are the guys who are blonde or have curly hair or who are playboys and attract attention. This bastard was all three of them, so I developed an instant hate for him, even though he looked like a 5 year old, I knew exactly which kind of adult would he grow up to become and his golden curls really pissed me off, but I had to stay calm as firstly I'm a proper grown up 17 year old lady of the Obolensky family and secondly I don't want to attract any unnecessary attention.
The brat looked as if he was from an extremely poor family; he looked frail, pale and worn tattered clothes. But truth to be told, he would look really gorgeous if he was dressed properly or if he had a better guardian. His eyes looked dull and watching him, I felt uneasiness within me. I almost felt as if my heart was about to beat.
He slowly, very slowly moved his small, frail hands towards me. At first I thought he was going to touch my feet or do something lame like that to apologise but that brat's hands ended up on my chest and the nonsense he sprouted was-"Oh! I can touch it"
That's when I lost my very lady like cool and composure and did the only one thing which was obvious, I pushed that brat away and shouted at the top of my lungs "You brat! What do you think you're doing? Want me to kill you?"
Okay, that was unladylike. I can't believe I lost my cool and composure to such a brat but he was rude, I mean who gropes you on the very first meeting and even when he's expected to apologize? That's when he sprouted more nonsense-"Oh! You can see me?"
'This brat... should I finish him off by touching him with my right hand' was what I was thinking. As you can see, I had lost it. No, calm down; don't lose your cool to a brat.
By this time, I was sure I had become a part of a child's game so I decided to just leave the scene quietly. As I turned and started moving, I was pulled back and that boy asked me to wait, he was about to touch my right hand so I pulled myself back and shouted at him to stay away but he was reluctant so I did what was the best at that time-"Stay away from me you dirty brat, if you touch, your poverty may spread, you are so dirty that you may even contaminate me. You perverted pauper!"
I'd be lying if I said he didn't look hurt. He was hurt, I hurt him badly. It was not his fault he was poor. But I didn't regret my words because maybe this would keep him away from me. I turned my face, and began moving back home, when he called out to me saying "Okay miss, I won't touch you so please give me a moment of yours.
"Okay not more than a minute" was my reply. "A minute will be fine, I just need to ask you a few questions, firstly-"He looked really serious so I was curious what would he ask, he finally opened his mouth and said-"Are you sure you're a girl, tell me honestly, I promise I won't tell a soul."
Dear late mother and father, this person is extremely rude. Which kind of person asks this kind of a question to a lady?
What should I answer to such a lame and offensive question?
"Do you doubt my gender?" was the answer I had planned to reply calmly to this oblivious question but looking at his face I lost it again and shouted "I am a girl! 100% a girl? Are you blind? Or do you think I'm too flat and you took me out from the category of a girl? If it's a joke, it's not funny at all" I was seriously annoyed and waiting for his reaction when he gave a half smirk and said " yeah right, sorry, wrong question." I felt like slapping him but I controlled my emotions "Say miss, I have a request from you." "A request, what is it?" "Would you...like to form a contract with me?"
What was this brat even saying? Was the hell is a contract? I knew nothing about it, so I answered the obvious, "Yes,"
A big bright smile lit up his face and he replied "Really, I was afraid you might reject. Well, then let-"Officer, I think that kid is lost and maybe he is no, he IS mentally challenged. Please help him." As a concerned and good citizen, I reported him to a nearby police station. The police officer asked me where he was so I pointed towards him to guide the officer but the conversation between us was not very good.
Officer- Where, there is no one over there.
Me- Over there, near that red car.
Officer- There's just that red car, no one is near it.
Me- Are you blind?! He's right there!
Officer- There's really no one.
Me- What are you saying, can't you see that blondie with curly hair?
Officer- Calm down. Do you want some water? What did you eat in your breakfast?
Me- Do you think I'm hallucinating? Huh?!
This was nearly how the conversation went on.
"Do you get it now? No one can see me but you, so goes for touching or hearing" said that brat with a smile while I was feeling doomed. "What are you? Some kind of ghost out for revenge? I'm sorry I can't help you." I said.
That brat- Hmmm...Didn't I tell you yet? Oh. How irresponsible of me.
Me- You know, your curls really piss me off.
That brat- I'm a star.
Me- Yeah right! Stop screwing around!!
That brat- No really, I'm a star. The ones you see in the sky, I'm one of them.
Me- Then, why the hell are you here on Earth?
That brat- It's not just me, there are many others like me on earth.
Me- Many others? Like who?
That brat- Who cares, I just want to form a contract with you!
Me (instantly)- No
That brat- Why?
Me- That's because it's a pain. It's going to be too troublesome. Besides why are you after me? Anyone would do right? Then why me?
That brat- Because, only you can see me.
Me- Do you think I give a shit about that, you perverted brat!
After that, I simply came back home without looking back. I decided to change back and while I was changing I was thinking about what happened today. Why in the world would I care about someone else's problems, I myself have enough problems to deal with, I cannot possibly add any more. What a persistent brat. Maybe he's just a simple ghost who's claiming himself to be a star, however, It was the first time I talked to someone after 10 years, and a star above all, as if he is a star.
"Huh..? Really? You're literally the definition of a loner. Are you an extreme case?" This voice, it seems deadly familiar, I felt a chill down my spine as I heard it. I was still half dressed. I turned back only to find that BRAT standing at my window I shouted as it was the only thing I could think of, and then I ran and quickly covered myself with a blanket with my left hand.
That freaking brat basically followed me to my house and entered inside through the window. It was definitely tress passing wasn't it? And above all that he violated my private space by entering shamelessly inside my room while I was still half dressed. I'm starting to hate him more and more.
Dear late mother and father, your daughter Vierne, may end up taking yet another life but she won't be responsible for her actions in this brat's case.
"How much" I mumbled, "huh?" was his reply
"You dare "huh?" me! How much did you see you jerk?!" "Ah... that, don't worry about it, I didn't see the details." He said with this irritating smile on his face. "Do you take me as a fool?" I was a bit relieved, "But there's a really cute mole on your back" he said "You saw it!! You jerk I'll have to kill-wait" I forgot. I touched him by his neck in the spur of the moment but I did it!
Now, he'll die too. How could I ever become so careless, how could I let such an important thing escape my mind. I'm sorry mother, father, I've again let you down. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm too afraid to look up. I repeated it again.
"Are you alright?... Are you crying, I'm sorry. I went a little overboard; I'll pretend I never saw that." He said. He-he's alive, but how? Has my curse faded with the flow of time? Thinking all this I reached my hand towards a flower pot nearby, I was feeling slightly happy thinking that I was finally free, but maybe, happiness is not that easy to attain, I touched that flower pot with my right hand and as my finger touched it, it shattered into thousands of smaller pieces. Those pieces were as small as the pieces of millets.
I was disheartened; I lost all hope all over again. That was just a moment of the past repeating itself, but this time the one to witness it were not my parents, it was this 5 years old looking boy who was a complete stranger for me. I had shown my powers, to the outside world, I could feel a terrific omen coming my way, I knew this story wasn't going to end well.
But then, I asked him- "Say, why didn't you break when I touched you?" Now I was curious about this guy. Maybe he wasn't lying at all. Maybe he was actually a star. To this question, he replied "Oooh... so, you can break the things you touch, amazing sila you got there!"
"What the hell is a sila?" I asked curiously, "Well that is... a special power possessed by Demigods."
Me-"Wait, what the hell did you just say? A demigod?"
The brat-"Yes, a Demigod. It's the offspring of a mortal and a god, that's what a Demigod is, and you are one of them, a Demigod.
Me-"Are you f#@king kidding me you brat! I'm so not one of them, I'm human!"
The brat-"Are you saying that all humans have powers like yours?"
Me-"That's-... But still, I'm sure both my parents were human!"
The brat-"I'm sure that's not the case. You are a living proof that one of your parents was a God."
I was left speechless after that little comment of that brat. That's true, I believed for all these years that we're not normal. Now, I even have a proof that I'm not normal.
Me-"So, even you are a demigod?"
The brat-"Oh no! I told you right. I'm just a star. You cannot possibly give me the status of a deity."
Me- "So then, what exactly is the work of a star?"
The brat- "Stars are mere butlers or maids to the demigod who are destined to serve their master till they disappear."
Me- "So then... there are more demigods out there and not just me?"
The brat- "Precisely."
Me- "Then why are you after me?"
The brat- "That's because, A star has only a single master and they can be anywhere among the 7 billion population of the world, and they even resemble humans, so it becomes difficult to meet a master. But once you find them, you must never let them go, ever!"
Me- "How can you say it's me?"
The brat- "That's because, not every demigod we'll meet will be our master. I told you that we have one and only one master. "
Me- "And, what if you don't like that master?"
The brat- "We don't have any choice over that, that's our fate, we cannot run away from destiny, because..."
Me- "Because...?"
The brat- "Because we are connected by a red string of fate."
Me- "What!! You mean, we can't have any other partner?"
The brat- "Yes, you can't even marry anyone else, in short, a demigod; never marries anyone, never ever."
Me- "Never ever" my ass! Are you serious! Do you have any idea how much big of an age gap we have you brat!"
That brat- "Don't worry, the age doesn't matter, what matters is the feeling"
Me- "F#@k you!!!"
That brat- "Now now… shall we?"
Me- "What"
That brat- "What do you mean "what". Now when everything's clear, let's form a contract!"
Me- "What will happen if we form a contract?"
That brat- "Well, after we'll form a contract, you'll officially enter the parade."
Me- "What parade?"
That brat- "A gatekeeper, you'll enter a parade to become a gatekeeper."
Me- "What exactly is that?"
That brat-"A gatekeeper, is a person who guards all the seven gates to hell and also the most important of all, the realm gates. Do you know? Realm gates are shimmering portals used by inhabitants of the mortal realms to travel across between them. A gate that binds all the 5 realms or clans- the demon clan, the giant clan, the fairy clan, the Goddess clan and the human clan. The one that guards that gate and has supreme power on all these clans is a Demigod. A Demigod is immortal; he only retires at old age and passes its position to a suitable heir, which is selected by the Demigod parade. This is a custom which takes place after nearly 100 thousand years or slow, because a Demigod grows old really slowly. This custom has been going on even before the birth of the fifth clan- the human clan.
Me- "Then why do the Demigods need a star?"
The brat- "Stars are like a stepping stone for Demigods to become a gatekeeper. The star spirits of the Demigods fight a battle for power for their master."
Me- "Fight? But aren't you too young for a fight?"
The brat- "Again the same. I told you; the age does not matter, the stronger one wins, that's what a parade is!"
Me- "And the one who lose? What about those?"
The brat- "It's a life-death match. If you win, you live, if you lose, you die. As simple as that."
Me- "You mean... I'll have to kill somebody?"
The brat- "Hey! What am I here for? I'll do the killing. Besides, stars don't die, they just disappear. You just have to take it easy and put on the defenses, because in a battlefield, anything can happen. So, do you wan-?"
"No, definitely not! I'm not doing it."
I just said that on impulse but I meant that. I can't watch anyone die. Suffering, sadness, death, I've had enough of it. Everything was turning gloomy, just like back then. I couldn't hear anymore, I can't face it anymore. I've been disappointed so many times, I've been pushed down so many times by fate that now I am… I am...
Too scared to get up.
I'm too scared to fall.
What's the use waiting behind the darkness when you know that there is no one who will light up for you. For people like me, darkness is followed by darkness. I'm scared.
Somebody-
.
.
.
.
.
.
Please help me get out.
I feel like every day, I'm losing my humanity slowly.
I'm falling from a cliff, which has no end
Which will never end
"Get out" I mumbled.
"Huh? What are you-"
"I said get out! Never come near me again. What the hell do you know you brat! You have never seen things which I have seen. Are you trying to make me repeat my past? Get out! Never ever approach me again. I'm never going to form a contract with you, you jerk! Ever show your face again in the Obolensky household!"
I looked at my feet while shouting all this. I just... couldn't look at him. He doesn't deserve someone like me, he deserves someone better.
Everything became dreadfully silent.
I felt a slight breeze and when I raised my head... he was gone.
I had hurt him but, I was better than hurting him later on and disappointing him. A Demigod... I... don't deserve such divine status.
Days went by, everything became normal again and I began spending my days reading, I believed that I would soon forget him.
I had a dream of the past wherein I was playing with my mother in our garden. After all these years, I can still clearly remember which kind of woman my mother was. She was kind hearted, and calm, as cool as a cucumber and she was always smiling. Even now, I remember what she used to say to me.
"Always remember Vierne, everyone has something beautiful in them. It's you who has to find out what it is and the day you'll be able to do that, will be the day when you can raise your head high and say that you're beautiful. Those people who cannot find the beauty in others, their beauty will eventually fade away. Eternal beauty lies here, deep in your heart, even when you're senile and you're not able to walk anymore, even when you lose everything dear to you, till the time of this, you'll remain beautiful... forever.
I cannot stay with you forever, someday you'll find yourself surrounded by negativity and loneliness, that's when a sign from God will come, that it's your chance to change. Mom got that chance, but she let it go, she was too foolish to realize it, and when she did, it was too late. But Vierne, I don't want you to do the same mistake as mom. Promise me, once you find it, never let that light go because that is your light. Giving it up means letting something go, which is rightfully yours. You get it, right? I'll be watching over you...
.
.
...from the stars"
"Why did I dream something like this? What are you trying to say, mother? "I looked up at the night sky while having my head filled with all these thoughts, did I, do something wrong again? Without giving it a second thought, I went to sleep again.
After a week, while I was reading a novel in the library of my house at nearly 11 o'clock p.m., I heard that familiar chirpy voice.
"Say, you're missing me right?" That brat was shamelessly standing at my window with a smile across his face. I couldn't believe, what does he think of himself. He was so full of it, but, at the same time, it felt as if he read my mind. I was thinking about what he would be up to now.
"Absolutely not! My life is much simpler without you"
"Huh? You mean boring?" He said as he smiled at me.
That brat, was he trying to hypnotize me or something? I was so NOT gonna go in his little trap.
"Why are you here?"
"To form a contract!"
"Man... you are the pure definition of obstinate. No, I think I told you off properly last time, I can't, find someone else."
Suddenly, he got serious and bought his face really really close to mine and said "I can't. It has to be you or no one, I want you."
He was so close to me, I felt, really weird. And, those last few words, does this brat even know the meaning of what he's saying? What does he plan on doing after forming that contact? Mother, your daughter is in danger. This child is really impudent and persistent.
But it was weird. Even though his face was so close to mine, I couldn't feel his scent at all, as if he had none. Pushing him away from me,
I asked
"Why do you want to form a contract with me so badly?"
"That's because, I want an existence"
"An existence, what do you mean?"
"I'm just a star, I don't have a body. I can't touch anyone or anything except you. I can't eat, even when I see humans enjoying delicious looking food. At first, I didn't even know English; I learnt it by listening to the language. No one can see me. I basically have no importance in this world. I'm just a shadow. I don't have anything to lose, anyone to protect. I want... A soul. I want to make friends; I want to talk to people. I really worked hard, trying to learn this language. I want... to live. If I form a contract with my fated Demigod, I'll gain a body and a soul. I'll become a star spirit rather than just a star. I want to become a star spirit and serve my master, that's why, that's why,... I want to... convince you."
A star, at first, I thought, that he was free to do whatever he want. But just like me, he can't touch or eat anything, he can't feel anyone's warmth, we're the same, rejected by the world, maybe, even by God.
I cannot cure my illness but, I can help, I can grant his wish. But, what about my wish, is it not important? What wish? Isn't this just selfishness. Isn't it just me being a coward?
I don't want to live with regrets anymore. If I refuse him today, I'll be basically taking away someone's hope, someone's freedom away from them. It'll surely make mother really sad if she saw me now. I don't want to be someone like that. I don't want anyone to suffer like me. I want to have hope in this world again. It's not like I can't let go, it's just that, I don't want to let go. If I can change someone's life for good, then I'll do my best to change it, because
…I'm an Earl.
"I'll do it"
"Huh?"
"A contract; let's make it"
"Whaaaaat?" His face lit up as he said this. "Really? You'll do it? You're not joking right?"
"I'm not joking."
"Really? Honestly? You're sure about it?"
"Yeah."
"You'll not change your mind later right? A contract, once made, remains for the entire life, are you really sure?
"You're so annoying, should say no then?"
"No no no, it's just that I'm really happy! I've been waiting for this for a really long time!"
"Then hurry up before I change my mind."
"Y-Yes!"
"Anyways, how the hell do you form a contract?"
"It's really easy, just follow me"
He said it and started running. I followed him. He went down the street and stood in front of the glass window of a jewellery shop, waving at me to come there. At first, some wild ideas ran down my mind, like, were we gonna loot the jewellery shop or something.
When I reached there, he pointed out his smallest finger, so I did the same. We had decided to do something like a pinky promise, that was another of my imaginations but that was not the case, at that moment, at least I thought that. When he moved his little finger crossing mine, he grabbed my little finger and pulled me towards himself. Then, he asked me to watch our reflection into the glass window. I had no idea what the hell he was doing, but as I turned towards the mirror and watched our reflection, a bright light covered the scene and everything started becoming white. It was just as if was the world was fading and I was in free space, my body felt heavy. I couldn't look at that brat as he shined as bright as the sun himself. I felt scared so I decided to leave his hand, but his grip was too strong. One couldn't say that it was nearly midnight at that time. Everything turned white as if it was noon. I could feel the floor below us vanishing.
Finally, everything turned until I couldn't open my eyes anymore. It felt as if time had stopped. After sometime, I felt something really warm and comfy.
That brat's hands felt really warm. I couldn't believe I could feel all that. I didn't want to open my eyes as I thought that he would let go if I opened my eyes. How long had it been since I last felt such a feeling. But then, something turned weird. I felt that now his hands were much bigger. I was so surprised that I suddenly opened my eyes. I couldn't believe what I saw. His hair still looked blonde and unruly, but there he was, all grown, I couldn't believe that it was the same brat I was with a moment ago. He looked like... kind of... handsome and tall. Now he was even taller than me. But, something about his seemed nostalgic and before I could give it another thought I blurted it out my thought of him being my...
.
.
"Father…"
-To be continued