Julian~
Love
Love is a conceptual feeling humans created to avoid being alone. The thought of feeling emotion for someone to the end of your life is something I find amusing and laughable. I heard someone say one time that love only exists as a by-product of our need to copulate but by using this logic, it does not explain why males love other males and females love other females so it'd be better to stick with my perception of love for now.
I was born without the capacity to love anyone. I simply care for people not love them. Please do not mistake these two. Care and protect. I care for my parents and want to protect them because they were my caregivers but I do not love them and they are very aware of that, even though it hurts them. I care for my friends and people you are good to me but that's all. Simply put, I can't love anything, romantic or platonic.
"Julian. I hope you heard what I said", a female voice broke my thoughts.
"No. I'm sorry, I wasn't listening", I replied honestly as I looked directly at her.
"Ugh. You do this all the time. This is why I'm breaking up with you. I can't take this anymore. You don't even act like you are interested in this relationship. Even from the start. I told you I loved you and you just nodded. You never even said it back. You know what, don't call me. I don't want to hear from you ever again."
She stood and stormed out of the café, huffing as she went, leaving me to suffer the stares of the people around. I sighed and took the last sips of my coffee then stood to leave. I had tried to avoid such an ordeal in a public place like this but I guess it was inevitable. I let a tip as I left, straightened the lapels of my suit, and walked towards the penthouse building a block away.
There goes another relationship down the drain. We lasted for two months, longer than any other relationship I've had. A record. People who are aware of my "condition" always wonder why I try to have relationships even though they never last. Well, I do this because even though I can not love, I still crave physical needs and I'm not a man who sleeps around, often.
I nodded at the doorman who smiled in response as I walked in, heading straight for the private elevator. I stood alone in the elevator and I unconsciously looked over to the security camera. I smiled and waved, knowing the person who was on shift at the moment would wave back. The elevator dinged as it got on the 25th floor and as usual, a furry bundle of energy bolted at me. I managed to tackle it before I got out of the elevator. He wriggled and panted in my arms, continuously attempting to lick my face. I set him down gently, only to have him jump at me. I got down and petted him so he could calm down.
The sound of a whistle drew his attention and he bolted towards where it came from. I stood straight and arranged my suit properly then put on my earpiece, shifting into work mode. I walked over to the living area, nodding to the other guards at their post. The sounds of pots clattering came from the kitchen then a curse. I rolled my eyes at the sound and went to attend to it.
The scene in the kitchen was no surprise to me. Two bodies were entwined in a sensual embrace, lips locked as their hands roamed each other's bodies. The man lifted the woman and set her on the kitchen island without breaking the kiss. I cleared my throat to announce my presence as the man began ripping the almost non-existent shirt off the woman.
"Please, not where you eat", I said, rubbing my eyes.
That caused them to finally separate, both out of breath. The man, my boss, had red lipstick smeared all over his lips as he grinned at me over the woman. He stood up straight from her as she scrambled to get herself decent. The man walked around the island towards me, still with a grin on his face.
"Good morning, Julian", he said, sounding very pleased with himself as he walked out of the kitchen.
He knew how much I disliked his antics and that riled him to do it more. I watched as the woman got her clothes organized but her hair and her makeup were in a terrible state.
"Miss...", I started.
"Sophie Parker. Please call me Sophie. I just started this work today."
"Well, Miss Sophie, you were informed before today of the rules of working with Mr. Diamandis."
She nodded slowly, sensing what I was about to say.
"Before you were given the job as a home caretaker, you were aware of the rule against 'physical' acts with Mr. Diamandis, am I right?"
"Yes but--"
"Miss Parker, thank you for your service. Your check for today will be handed to you by the job agency. Have a wonderful day", I said in my professional voice.
She looked stunned before she rushed out with her bag to the elevator. I sighed then walked to where my boss most definitely was. In his study. The door was wide open when I got there so I shut it when I stepped in. He was sitting at the desk, his face cleaned up and he was in a suit now, the robe he had on before probably lies somewhere on the floor in his room. He glanced at me as he spoke on the phone to someone at the office.
"Fix it by the time I get there", he abruptly said before ending the call.
"This is the eighth one this week, Ajax. Mrs. Smith will not be happy", I addressed him.
He shrugged innocently then grinned.
"I'm sure, you can talk your way out of it for me."
"Mrs. Smith will have my head this time. She informed me of her decision to come back to being your housekeeper if this happened again. And it has. Prepare yourself, Mr. Diamandis."
He groaned at that then rubbed his face. As much as he loved Mrs. Smith, he did not want her here, mainly because he could not fool around as much. And that Mrs. Smith made him put a boundary between our friendship and our work behavior. He liked to be carefree so that was a problem for me. I wasn't bothered honestly.
"Anyway", he changed topics, "how did the meeting with your girlfriend go?"
"We broke up."
"Ahh. So sad", he said, not being sad at all.
I rolled my eyes.
"Probably, not being able to love didn't work for her, you know", he continued.
"I never told her."
"Ohhh, so sad", he grinned, "then we can date now--."
"Ajax. No. You know we can't do that. I keep work and playtime very separate. I tell you this every day."
"Well, it doesn't hurt to try."
There was an awkward silence before he stood from the desk to leave. I gestured to the other men in black as Ajax and I along with two other men entered the elevator. By the time we got to the reception, there was a car ready and waiting for us. I opened the door for him to enter before I followed after him. He looked over to me as I spoke into the comm to the other men who were taking the other car. I gave him a quick smile when I was done.
"You know, you don't have to open the door for me every time."
"I'm your bodyguard, Ajax, it's part of my job. Plus I've worked for you so long I didn't even realize I did."
He rolled his eyes but smiled.