I am a recluse in making,
The world is my oyster is a failed theory. It never worked and I realised it very young. Dealing with people who acted like friends and for sometime I truly though they were my friends. But as life moved me forward there were not even handful of people who ever called or asked for how I really am or if am doing okay. Some ostracised me and some I felt were too toxic for me so I left them myself. I could have kept them friends and meet them from time to time. But that seemed very artificial and forceful.
Its like people see you and then they decide if you are worthy for company. They don't want to meet for kindness or love or friendship anymore. It was more to access where you are in life and accordingly they would either further their acquaintance or draw a line.
It's more to get together, chill have fun and drink and then go back to our lives. No one wants to talk about their problems and neither does anyone want to listen.
Zara realised that when she got too emotional, her so called friends used those very emotions to pull her down. And that's when she turned to Charles Bukowski who gave a dam about nothing.
With these similar thoughts Zara opened her eyes and found Leo 's sleeping face opposite to her. He was just inches away from her and she could feel his slow breathing. This time she did not freak out and it seemed she felt a bit of relief wash over her. And at that very moment Leo opened his piercing black eyes and just looked at her.
Zara did not blink either and looked back at him with the same intensity.
'Morning,' she spoke softly
'You are in my room again,' she stated it as a matter of fact.
'Good morning,' replied Leo as he raised his eyebrows. He half expected her to shriek or start another row with her but to his surprise she smiled and acknowledged his presence in her allotted room.
'You know I am still in my underwear and so are you,' that got her attention and her relaxed face turned into mixture of horror and anxiety as she tried to move the blanked and check herself and that was when Leo caught hold of her arm and spoke lazily.
'Relax, I am just joking. You seemed far too at peaceful and that kind of unsettled me.'
'I have become accustomed to bullying you, it gives me inner satisfaction.' And he winked at her as he got up and drank from a bottle next to him.
Zara wanted to pull some of those hair out and wondered how soft they must be. She was itching to touch his hair. That was when she saw him drink his water directly from the bottle and her line of sight moved from his adam's apple below to his chest as the top two buttons of his black shirt were open. She got a glimpse of his chest which seemed hard and well robust, she had felt his chest yesterday when he had hugged her form behind. It seemed he had not changed from last night and had probably crashed at her bed again and then she looked at his legs. Well ofcouse he had taken off his pants in his sleep again. It seemed that it was more of a habit rather than an act of seduction on his part.
'I see you can't get enough of me,' he said not looking at her and that comment pulled her out of her Leo ogling daze. She did not know what to say other than escaping and so that is what she did. She scrammed out of her bed towards the washroom and that was when she felt being pulled back to the bed and as she opened her eyes to curse at him.
She found his face closer to hers and a finger on her lips. He was looking directly at her with a hint of mischief which she could detect as his lips turned up slightly. She had seen the same expression yesterday.
She tired to speak again and he again placed his finger on her lip.
'You should not curse so early in the morning,' he said as he moved closer to her lips and then towards her neck.
'And who do you think is making me swear so early in the morning?' she retorted back.
'One day I will make you swear out of extreme pleasure,' he said while he moved his lips near her ear to the nape of her next and then to her lips.
Zara could feel his breath on her skin as he moved around her face and neck in slow motion.
It was the kind of slow burn which she was not expecting and then suddenly she felt his lips right near her's and she knew he was going to kiss her.
And as she prepared herself to be kissed by him for the second time. The first time was so good and unforgettable. She expected the second time being kissed by him even more exhilarating. So she closed her eyes expectant of his lips touching her's and that was when she felt him pull away quickly. She looked up at him questioningly.
'Usually you smell of roses and today you smell of alcohol. Smelly mouths turn me off,' he said sarcastically with a hint of humor in his eyes.
And that was it, her angry neve popped and she got up angrily and hovered over her bed and found her pillow and threw it with all her might at his face.
'Fuck off,' she said by stressing on the words and trying to copy his accent which made his face turn from a wit to annoyance.
She stared at him, anger still oozing out of her face and rushed to the washroom slamming the door.
When she was finally inside she looked at her haggard face in the mirror. Her eye liner was smeared all over her eyelid and her hair was pooping out everywhere and were tangled.
Apparently she and Aly drank a lot yesterday. They had around twenty shots of Rakija and some Pelen and some beers. They had apparently lost count of shots as they met some more friends of Aly at the bar. It was a blessing that they reached home safely.
Last thing she remembered was Aly and her trying to open the front gate of the house. They both were so drunk that they were not able to punch in the number codes correctly. In fact they were both fighting over the codes. Aly was spluttering, 'You are wrong, it is my birthday not Selena's,' And she was spluttering as well,' No you are wrong , it's not your birthday it's the kids.'
They kept missing the right buttons and Zara had no recollection how they climbed the stairs or even got inside. Her hangover was starting to take a full swing as her head was starting to throb. That was not good! Luckily Ms. Ivana was away to Split for the day else she would have to reach at the museum by eight and it was already seven thirty. She had time and could swing by nine.
She washed her face with ice cold water to wash away any signs of sleep on her face as as she looked up she saw a small little red speck just a little above her collarbone.
It wasn't there yesterday and then she remembered something and her face flushed.
'I guess I will have to hide that as well,' she spoke to herself but did not seem mad about it.