Ace Martinez: still 15
Charlotte Miller: still 13
(I can't just let my babies grow up!!)
Ace's POV:
Chapter 8: Let's Date
Everyone says "Take care of yourself". Why doesn't anybody ever say that "I'll take care of you". Because that's the thing about caring. It can't be forced. Only you can truly ever take care of yourself. No one else can do it for you.
Care is selfless and to care for someone is the most selfless act in the world. Care doesn't need to be reciprocated, unlike love.
Love is selfish. It needs to be reciprocated or it fades away with time. People fall out of love because they didn't care enough. They only wanted to be cared for. How selfish is it to love someone just because they made you feel better about yourself? You only love someone as long as they love you. When they stop loving you, you move on.
But then again what is care? And what is love?
I remember asking my grandma the same thing so many years ago.
"What's care, grammy?" I questioned the old woman on the hospital bed that was withering away in front of my eyes.
Her eyes gleamed with emotions as she looked at me with that beautiful smile she always wore as she replied, "Care is when you want to reduce someone's problems and their distress. When you want to support someone. Care is when you want someone to be happy. "
"And what is love, grammy?" I inquired.
"Love is when the happiness of another person becomes essential to your own", she looked at grandpa, sitting on the chair beside her with teary eyes who was staring at her before she added, "Love is when you don't want to let go, when you want to hold on, when you keep fighting the impossible, a lost battle. But love isn't always about holding on, sometimes you have to let go and set yourself and the one you love free. "
"That means love and care are the same?" I guessed.
"No, they're not, big boy," I frowned at her.
Seeing the confusion on my face, she began in a soft voice, "When you don't want someone to ever cry, that's care.
When you cry with someone, that's love.
When someone is in pain, and you pray for them, that's care.
When someone is in pain, and you pray for them, wait for them to heal, you don't move an inch till that person is healed. You put yourself in their shoes, and feel the situation from both sides, then that's love.
When you give your arm to hug someone to comfort them, that's care.
When you give your whole heart to feel someone's pain or happiness then it's love.
When you reduce someone's pain, it's care
When you feel someone else's pain, that's love.
When someone says take care of yourself, that's care.
But when someone says I'll take care of you, then that's love.
But remember that what you love, you might not always care for. And what your care for, might not be loved."
I was much too young to understand the meaning behind her words back then, maybe I still am. But those last words always stuck with me.
You can't love everything you care for and you can't care for everything you love.
So do I love her or do I simply care for her?
Which one is it?
What about her?
What does she feel for me?
My eyes again fell upon the last words of the letter she wrote to me.
Take care of yourself until I come over there and take care of you.
Only time can tell if she'd keep true to her words.
I kept reading those last words, again and again, trying to decipher their meaning before giving up and finally starting reading the letter.
Dear John,
Guess what's going?
It's me! On a date. I'm going on my first date!!! There's this cute new boy in my grade and he asked me out today.
WHAT THE HEY?!!!!
She's going on a date?
How could she do this to me?
Calm down, Ace.
She's a teenager now.
And teens dating is normal.
You have absolutely no right to stop her.
But still, how could she do this to me!!!??
He had this red rose in his hand. I think it was magical.
I bet it was. That's how he was able to hypnotize her into going out with him.
I knew it. I so damn knew it.
And he has these shiny blue eyes.
"I've got blue eyes, " I mumbled under my breath, "What's so special about that?"
Oh my gosh, he's so cute. He also had a dimple on his cheek that took my heart out of my chest.
I have a dimple!!!
Plus, he's so polite.
I have so many questions I want to ask.
Uh oh. This can't be good.
Don't worry, it won't be like the last time.
Thank god!!
First of all, what do you do on your first date?
You cancel on him.
Should we hold hands?
No. I don't want that.
What if he kisses me??
Simple, I'll kill him.
I think I'll faint.
I'll be there to hold you.
Mia said that the first date usually means hitting the mall or hanging out in groups or something along those lines.
What if he invites his friends?
That would be golden. Please let him do that.
I don't want that.
That'll be such a bummer.
How can that be a bummer? I'll be ecstatic if that happens.
He said that we'll go to the mall and then to the park.
Huh, that's not a date. That's a hangout. I'll show you what a real date is.
What should I wear?
Something ugly.
Should I wear pink?
Nu-uh, pink is pretty.
I love pink but what if he doesn't like it?
What colours do boys like?
Grey, brown, black, anything ugly.
How should I do my hair?
Leave it uncombed and oily.
Do I go casual or classy?
I have no idea what that means.
I don't know what that means either but I think I read that in my mom's magazine.
Dumbhead.
Holy cow! She's rubbing off on me.
But damn, do I like it.
I'll have to read the whole article to understand what that means.
More and more reading.
I hate reading.
Ughhh
Hey! What about your first date?
I laughed out loud, just reading that.
What was it like?
Oh honey, I'm still waiting for that.
I was hoping it was with her.
Where did you take her?
Well if I had the chance, I would have taken you to an amusement park like I swore I would or you could have taught me how to cook like you promised. Or... or we could have had a game night like we promised each other.
So many promises.
I'll make sure I fulfill all of mine.
And I just hope she'd keep hers.
Did you kiss her?
Did she kiss you?
I wish.
What was your first kiss like?
Is it good?
Is it bad?
How do you know if you're ready to kiss?
I don't like where this is going.
Should I kiss him?
Noooooooo.
Don't do that to me. Pleaseeee.
Ugh, I don't know anything.
I need a guide. A guide to your first date. Is that a thing? Do you have a book like that? I'm freaking out right now.
If yes, send it to me.
Also, there's this one girl in my school, Cassidy, she says she's got dibs on the cute new guy. Is that a thing? Can you do that? If so, I call dibs on you. You aren't allowed to ask anyone out and don't let anyone ask you out, Okay?
You don't have to do that, I thought wistfully. I can never date anyone other than her. Not because those plastic covered, fake girls would never be able to catch my interest but because nobody could ever compare to her.
She showed kindness to a stranger.
She didn't just make my day better, five years ago, but she made my life better.
Now, I have something to actually look forward to.
I have someone to wait for.
And someone who waits for me.
And last but not the least, tell me if you have a problem. And take care of yourself until I come over there and take care of you.
I love you.
I love you.
Jane ❤❤
To be honest, I had always assumed that we would have our first date together. I had always wished in my heart that she would wait for me, just like I've been waiting for her. But she's still younger than me. Two years ago, even I didn't know that I'd ever feel this way for her, whatever I feel for her. I still couldn't name this feeling. I know for a fact that I like her, really really like her. But, I think it would be stupid to call it love. Cause I don't even know what love is, how it feels to be loved by someone or how it feels to love someone else. I don't know any of it.
Growing up, I learned that love isn't just about saying those three words, it's so much more than that. Also, we're way too young to love each other, when we don't even know how to love ourselves.
I wiped a tear that escaped my eyes without my permission.
Does she feel for me what I feel for her?
Does she even like me?
Or is she just being kind to me?
No, no, no, that's not her.
She'll let you know if she doesn't like you.
She says what's on her mind. She's not fake.
But that's not the point right now. I don't want her to go on a date, I want to be her first date.
I walk down the corridor to the canteen, deep in thought when I bump into someone.
I stumble back a little but manage to remain upright on my feet. I look up to see a familiar face but before I could say something, the person in front of me beats me to it.
"Ah, the one and only, Ace Martinez," he smirks at me as he extends his hand towards me.
I look at his hand before looking back into his green eyes, full of mischief.
"What do you want?" I mutter, pretending to be annoyed.
He leaned into me and whispered in my ear," You, only you."
Ewww. I shuddered and pushed him back, "Ughh, stay away from me. I always knew you were gay. You like me and that's why you whooped those guys' behind every time they bullied me. I knew it. I so damn knew it. But I'm not going to let you steal my virtue. "
I put my arms around me in a protective gesture.
He gave me a look that defined the phrase 'If looks could kill' before hitting the back of my head.
"I don't want to be friends with you anymore, I knew it was a bad idea, agreeing to be your friend all those years ago," Mason glared at me.
"It was a bad idea to ask you to be my friend," I muttered under my breath.
"You want to apologize to me? Okay. Do it properly. Beg me to earn my forgiveness," He told me.
I gave him a look and he pouted, knowing I'm going to give in.
Ughh.
I'm not giving in this time.
"Oh hey! Look at that, the results for Ms Dramatic 2020 just came in," I said, pretending to open an envelope before looking at him, "Let's see who won, who won, it's you!!! Congratulations."
I give him a fake smile which earns me a sullen look and silence.
Pure silence.
Damn, he's really mad.
"Okayyy, I'm sorry!," I finally give in while holding my ears, "Is that good enough an apology for you?"
"Hmm, I still want that begging part, but okay. I'll take what I can get," he punched my arm,"Now, let's go and meet your friends."
"To the cafeteria, we go!"
"Uh, who's this?, "Abigail sassed, looking up and down at Mason.
"Looks like there's another scholarship student on our table," Olivia sneered.
Vivian looked up,"Oh sorry, was I supposed to be offended?"
"Honey, if you're going to give me a comeback, at least make it good," Olivia spat out.
"Well then I guess my comeback and you've got something in common," Vivian responded.
"Stupid bitch," Olivia retorted and everyone on the table looked at Vivian for her response.
"Good, I was trying to copy you today," Vivian countered.
Lucas and Aiden oohed while Adeel took a bite from....wait is that popcorn? Where did he even get it?! The cafeteria surely doesn't sell it.
Note to self - Steal Adeel's popcorn
"Of course you were, I wouldn't wanna be you, either and maybe if you got a life of your own, you wouldn't fail so miserably trying to copy mine," Olivia flipped her hair.
"Oh that's good," Aiden commented quietly while trying to sneak a few popcorns from Adeel's bowl, only to get a smack on the back of his head.
"Wow, how long did it take you to come up with that? The whole night, I bet." Vivian placed her chin against her fist on the table.
"You are the reason god created a middle finger," Olivia said while flipping her the bird.
"You know what, I'd insult you back but it looks like god already did a FUCKING AMAZING job with that," Vivian shouted.
By now, every student in the cafeteria was looking at our table, shocked. Adeel stopped midway, his hand in air and the popcorn in it fell. I was shook, just like everyone else.
"Why's everyone so quiet?," Mason whispered to me.
Adeel who was sitting on the other side of Mason ,explained, "Cause Vivian never curses, ever. This is the first time I've ever heard her cursing. "
"And why don't you open your mind as wide as you open your legs?," Everyone gasped.
Before Olivia could reply, Vivian stood up abruptly and made her way out of the dining hall. Lucas moved after her and held her hand, only for her to snatch it back and slap him, hard.
"Oh, damn!," Adeel exclaimed under his breath and everything went silent," This is the good shit I came for."
They got into a heated argument before Vivian finally left and Lucas stood there with his head down before running after her. Olivia followed after him.
"I thought this was going to be about me," Mason finally broke the silence.
"Yeah, Mason, tell us about yourself," Aiden, being the smart one, diverted everyone's attention from what just happened.
"Okay, so it's settled, I'm throwing a welcome party for Mason. A little warming up before classes start," Adeel exclaimed.
"You could do that?" Mason raised a brow at Adeel.
"You'd be surprised to know just how far money can take you, " Adeel snorted.
"Rich brats," Mason muttered under his breath.
I walk down the corridor to my dorm room, only to find it already open.
Did I leave it open or is there a thief in the dormitory.
I open the door with shaky hands and peek from behind it to see Vivian sitting on my bed.
"Damn, you scared me!," I cried out loud with my hand over my chest, bringing her out of her thoughts.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to go to Lucas and my room. He's there," She declared.
Well, that's news.
I sat beside her on the bed,"You want to talk about it?" I asked, rubbing my hand against the back of my head.
"No," She declined instantly with a sniff.
Shit, I made her cry.
What should I do?
'Comfort her, dumbhead,' my subconscious chided
Well that's good advice.
For someone who knows how to do that!!
I have no idea how to comfort a girl. The only girl I've had to comfort was Jane and that girl would be comforted if you get her a pack of chocolates.
Maybe I should try that approach.
I sat up and reached under the bed to get out my hidden store of junk food.
"Don't tell anyone about it, Ok?" I warned Vivian who sat on the bed, cross-legged looking at me with curious eyes.
"Okay?," I prompted and she nodded in response.
Her face brightened up on seeing the pack of junk food.
Huh. Guess junk food really is the best way to comfort a girl.
She inhaled the smell of junk and started eating before crying out in a muffled voice,"H-He is a cheacher. I-I weally l-liked him and h-he made out w-with thwat bish!!"
"Who?," I asked her, surprised but she ignored me.
"He had s-sex with her!! H-he gave his virginity to her," Vivian cried.
"What bitch are we talking about?," I pestered.
"Ovivia!!," She shouted, in my face.
Damn girl, you don't have to be angry with me.
"Lass wight, I-I walked into our woom to shhe him making out with her," She stuffed her face with more chips,"I didn't go to our room the whole night and when I got there in the morning, I saw her clothes in my, MY LAUNDRY BASKET!!,"
"Lu-Lucas didn't even bother to check on me and i-in the morning, he pretended like no-nothing happened," Vivian threw herself into my arms and I froze for a moment before awkwardly patting the back of her head. She sniffed again and I offered her my handkerchief.
"Maybe, you're getting this all wrong. Maybe it was just a kiss, maybe she ruined her dress and had to change, that's why her clothes were in your laundry basket. That's a very real possibility, considering how much Lucas likes you," I tried explaining after a long moment of silence but she shook her head at my words.
"Even if it was just a kiss, do you think that's okay? To kiss someone else when he told me he likes me?," Vivian croaked out, before she began crying again.
To be honest, I don't think Lucas could ever do that but Vivian is headstrong and stubborn, especially when it comes to the opinions or notions she has in her mind. It's really difficult to get her to change her mind. Olivia is cunning and she likes Lucas but she's also righteous and ethical. That's why I know she'll never go that far to get him.
"Enough about me, what are you going to do about your girl dating another guy?," Vivian wiped her tears and blew her nose with the handkerchief before passing it to me. I instantly threw it to the side and sanitized my hands when she wasn't looking.
"I don't know," I mumbled, once again thinking about her letter.
"Also she's not my girl. She's my best friend. That's it. That's all we are. Friends," I confessed , that word leaving a bitter taste in my mouth,"Friends who write 'I love you're to each other in letters but friends nonetheless." I clarified before she could poke that subject.
Wait, letters!!
"You read my letters!! I can't believe you did that," I shot daggers at her.
"It was only one and that's not what matters right now, what matters is how to stop your girl from going on a date with another guy. Let's focus on that," She quickly changed the subject.
We thought long and hard sitting there before Vivian spoke.
"Well, she wants to date a guy," She stated the obvious, looking at me expectantly.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?," I demanded while trying to get it out.
"Actually, sometimes I feel like you have something stuck in your brain that makes you so stupid," Vivian shook her head at me, "Idiot, you could be the guy!!"
"What guy?," I looked at her suspiciously
"The guy she has her first date with!!," She hit the back of my head.
"Well, I can't. 'Cause I can't be there with her," I said in a duh tone.
"Oh really," She raised her eyebrow at me.
"Damn, that's a great idea," I exclaimed after she was done explaining her plan to me.
When Vivian finally went to sleep on my bed, I sat on the chair and wrote.
Dear Jane,
You want to date a guy?
Ok, let's date.
••••••••••