Wait
Oh my god
What the hell have I done? He's there when I shut the door on his face. My shaky hands come to my mouth in horror. Then hearing his anger from outside when he told Theo to leave him alone my horror changed into terror. Who starts a battle with the devil?
"Did you shut the door on my face?" My mind starts imagining the face of Ronald. Angry eyes with murder look. Shaking my head I walk behind until my ass rests on the bed. He's angry. He's more than angry.
"Answer me!" My body stood up after his shout.
"I'm sorry." Whispering in my mouth my throat went dry. Now I'm scared. What if he killed me?
"Open the door." No. What can I do? Watching here and there in horror I get up and check the glass door. It's locked perfectly. Thank god. Am I watching my safety here? Living here with Ronald is like hell. What if he came from here? He knocked again.
"Rose last time. Open the door. I want to see you." His last line is full of sadness. Then he went silent. One minute...two and.
"Why? Why do you want to see me now? You left without telling me. Now, what do you want from me? I'm good here. You don't need to worry about me." Oops, what the hell did I say? Why am I in the mood for war with him? I also want to see him. What is happening to me? On those nights my mind kept giving me the wrong idea about him and Jenna.
"I'm sorry." Suddenly I laugh aloud. What the hell is my body reacting that way? He's here, this is what I want but hearing him now makes me mad.
"Fuck you! Go away." God, why am I getting so angry? Did I say that?
"What did you say?" Yes, he always calls me his, and with that right today I'm telling him. Stepping closer to the door I speak.
"I said fuck you." He laughed. Seriously?
"Okay! You're angry I get it. Open the door and shout on my face. But please don't do this." Please? Did he even see my tears? Did he see me shaking in a nightmare? Did he see me crying for him?
"Not interested Ronald. You left me alone here. I.." Suddenly I start crying while talking. Fear of losing him now appears openly. I'm angry because of my fear thinking about him with Jenna. What he left me again?
"Rose I know but.. please it's already seven days. Let me come in and feel you." Feel me? Please love me.. Kiss me.. hug me… spend countless nights with me in bed.
"I want to sleep so go." Shutting the light I lay in bed. He called me last time. When nothing happened he was gone. He is gone but my tears never. Why did I say bad words to him? Why not let him come? I want him also. It's been a while since we haven't felt each other. The whole night the tears came again and again. I bet my eyes look horrible now.
Suddenly my eyes open when I hear a voice. First I tried to understand what was going on but then my senses came when Ronald's voice entered in my ears. But in another second I feel wet on my face. It's tearing...
"Rose fucking open the door. That's enough. You screamed..what happened?" Oh yes, it's a nightmare. Ronald talking from outside, correcting, shouting.
"That's why I'm telling you to let me in or come into my bedroom. Don't do this. Don't punish me. See I'm also struggling with sleep. At Least let me sleep." He's telling the truth. Now it was hard for me to sleep here again. If I sleep in his room then I bet the sleep came. But not like that.
"On one condition."
"I agreed now." Wait! Without listening. He's so desperate and the desperation I'm feeling here.
"At least listen to me."
"Come outside and let me feel you once. Then we'll talk."
"You're not going to touch me and we're sleeping side by side not together." A silence fell around us and different kinds of tension started building. My body jumped when he punched the door in anger.
"Are you kidding me? No ... come outside and we're having sex. I need that much. Don't test me."
"No! We're not. Accept my condition or you can go."
"Rose!" He shouted. His anger and breath on different levels. Today I pressed the wrong button and I'm going to realize it soon. Two minutes passed but nothing.
"Fine."
Claiming myself I opened the door and as soon as my eyes landed on his face a tear fell from my eye. His eyes today tell how much he's alone and lonely. His face lost that glow. Looks like the only drug he needs is me. Now I'm regretting my decision. Binding my arms behind me I hold myself so hard.
"You're.. looking okay now. Come sleep." He took me to his room. I need his clothes also. We're not sleeping together but wearing his clothes is enough for me.
"Where are you going?" Taking his shirt, I went to the bathroom. After washing myself I wear his shirt. God, I'm already feeling him. When I came outside he was already in bed with a book in his hand. But as soon as his eyes landed on me the book fell to the ground. He looked up and down and mumbled something. My body went hot. Stop dirty thoughts.
"In my absence, you're running around in this single piece of cloth?" It's a question? With daring, I nod.
"Don't you dare to walk like that in front of Neil or Theo? You already crossed your line. Don't take me on the edge." Oh yah.. now I dare more and open two buttons. He's looking directly at my hands now.
"Stop Rose! Don't provoke me. I'm not going to do something that doesn't mean you have the right to stop me." My mind went blank. He stood up and came to me.
"It's your mistake, not mine." Ignoring him I lay in bed. Where does bravery come from?
"What? How? It..it's my mistake?" Nothing. Closing my eyes I pretend to be sleeping.
"Answer me! Fuck what can I do with you?" He closes the light when I keep my mouth and lay far away but I can feel his eyes on me. Sometimes I can feel him coming closer to me and then back away. All body hairs stand with the heat of his body and again calm. He's fighting with himself. Good for him.
The next morning my eyes open to the sharp light and sound of water. My sleepy eyes open with a shock but then calm immediately. Turing, I found Ronald sleeping next to me but away. Immediately I realized he was holding the shirt I'm wearing. Again he found his way to hold me. Slowly I try to get rid of his fist.
"Don't do that." He wants me here with him but what about me when I need him that much. But last night he was so exhausted and alone. I saw different loneliness in his eyes. Taking a deep breath I lay down and close my eyes.
My eyes open with a scream. Shit! He scared me looking directly at me.
"You scared me." My heart is pounding hard in my body.
"You stay huh? If you still want me then why stop yourself?" As soon as he came closer I got up and turned away. My foot touched the floor while walking.
"Don't go outside..." Too late. Because when I open the door Theo and Neil are standing outside. Looks like they're going for a knock.
"Like that." He's going to kill me now. Both looking at me directly with widened eyes.
"Umm.." Both turn and clear the space for me. I saw Ronald who was looking at me with killing eyes.
"Remember this." God!
Ronald came into my room asking me for breakfast with him but I refused. Whole day he did so many things for me to find a way to get closer to me but everytime he went back with a long face. But then during the afternoon I saw him with a man who came here with something in his hand. He's such a simple man and the bot in which he came is also small and simple. Both were talking and in which that man's eyes landed on me. Ronald told him something and he nodded like he was saying hello to me. I did the same. Now two minutes before he came here with a dress and told me to wear it and used some makeup. It's a red and beautiful simple gown with velvet and lace.
I put on some makeup and curl my hair a little. But I stopped when my eyes found mine in the mirror. I'm looking different and beautiful. My face looks healthy and the curve perfectly shows my body now. The dress gives me a glow or I'm blushing thinking about his reaction to me. Holding my heart I opened the door and a handsome man in black stole my heart.
Looking directly at his green eyes makes contact with my brown eyes. Clean shaved face with a smile on his face he drank me upside down. Hold your breath, do not go weak. But nothing in my hands. Then I hear a voice. The glass of wine that's held by Ronald is now on the floor.
"It's a mistake."