"Can we?"
I laughed covering up my unease. "Caleb, I really have to go. Aleecia has no idea where I am" I stressed, pushing the bowl of pasta back towards him. I had somehow managed to sneak out of the house and to the restaurant. It was so much easier now that Ray was trying to ignore me. However, being away from them was currently giving me cold feet. If Aleecia found out she'd gobble my head up. Literally.
"This is about Ray again, isn't it? What happened this time?" He retracted himself, snatching up the bowl sordidly.
I lowered my eyes and grunted, I couldn't do this right now. I stood. "I'm leaving"
"Wait. No. I'm sorry, okay?" He offered hastily and I searched his innocently adorable eyes. "Honey bear come on. Sit" he begged with a charming smile and I returned to my seat reluctantly with a tired sigh.
All I wanted was to forget Ray right now. All I wanted was to cease my feelings for him but I couldn't. I couldn't and it made me wonder how it was humanly possible to hate and love the same person at once.
I hated that he made me feel like this, that I had given him so much power and he'd used it against me. I hated that he could hurt me so easily without remorse or care. Most of all, I hated that I loved him. I loved how he made me smile by just simply being next to me. I loved how he made me laugh, how he made me want.
The way he made my body feel was sensational; it was magical. Every inch of me yearned for his touch and craved his want. I hated that.
I took a deep breath, hating how much I needed him right now, even after he'd said those horrible things only hours ago.
I blinked away the forming tears, as the hurt surged throughout my arteries and a loose eyelash saw the need to aid by lodging itself into my eyeball.
"Frig" I cursed, trying to get it out. It felt like sand and the more I tried, the more irritating it became.
"Wait, let me help" Caleb offered and I handed him my face
"Do you see it" I questioned impatiently
"Stop moving your eyeball" He squealed. I was about to snap when he took it out and showed it to me.
"Got it... Make a wish" he stated, biting his lip and I smiled in relief. "Come on, anything, it'll come through"
I nodded.
'I wish for replaceable pasta and that Ray and I would be okay again.'
It was stupid but I couldn't help it. I guess I wasn't one of those strong-headed girls from the books and movies that had the perfect guy, who'd do anything to make them happy and hurt-free. They say love is blind and I could never understand it. I mean, how blind could you possibly be, right?
I used to laugh at girls who did exactly what I was currently doing. I had no idea how this happened or when. Was it the first time he held me? The first time he kissed me? Or when he told me he wanted me? I shrugged in disgust at my behavior. Someone could kill me right now and I'd thank them.
Caleb leaned over the counter, peering into my eyes. "What did you wish for?" he questioned and I scanned his face.
"Replaceable pasta"
"Next time wish for our babies to be healthy" he rolled his eyes and it made me smile
"Babies?"
"Mhmm" He traced a loose strand of hair to the back of my ear, keeping his hand there and I held my breath "You are breath-taking" he whispered, shifting the mood of the empty restaurant. I exhaled, he said stupid things like that a lot. It was kind of cute. He searched my eyes, pulling me into him.
"How about another kiss for good measure?" He whispered and I chuckled briefly
Maybe I could forget.
"And I…am disgusted" Ray's voice rang out among the silence and I turned to face him, leaving Caleb's kiss to the wonders of space. He retreated to the other end of the counter in irritation and I scoffed, feeling a rush of anger pelting through my skin as Ray sat on the chair inches away from mine.
"What are you doing here?" I grilled heatedly and he turned to face me.
"I'm hungry. What are you doing here?" He questioned with a hint of asshole.
"Yo…"
"So, I would like your chicken special and a bowl of soup" He turned to face Caleb, blatantly cutting me off. This was exactly what I meant. It was like he took pleasure in my pain. I felt my chest tighten and I struggled to keep my composure.
"We are closed" Caleb gestured to the empty room and I got up. I had had enough of this, enough of Ray.
"Opps" Ray mumbled, slamming the sign he'd town off the door unto the counter. I jumped in fright, looking over at him in disappointment before walking out. This felt so much like a bad case of déjà vu.
I groaned as the pain became intolerable and heated tears gushed from my eyes. My fingers began to shake and I stopped inches away from his door in an attempt to pull myself together. I felt as if I was in a whirlwind of eternal anguish. I meant nothing to him and that hurt a lot more than I thought it would.
"I'm… sor..." Ray spoke behind me and I sprung around to face him. I wanted him to hurt as much as he did me. I needed him to melt.
"I hate you" I spat catching him off guard and he curled his eyes in disagreement before striding up to me.
"No you don't" he countered, a pinch of hurt in his voice
"I. Hate. You" I repeated bitterly, tears flooding my cheeks. Maybe if I said it enough, it would become true.
"Don't say that" He filled the space between us and I stepped back, wanting to get as far as I possibly could from him. He held onto my arm and pulled me back towards him. "Amelia?"
"I hate you" I yelled unconvincingly, trying to push him off without luck. He grabbed my other arm, keeping me steady and in place.
"You don't" he insisted, searching my eyes.
"You have no idea how I feel" I snapped, glaring into his bewildered eyes.
"Fine." He mumbled letting me loose. "You kissed Caleb and you were going to kiss him again. You've been drooling over him from the frikin start. I'm not the frikin bad guy here" he muttered harshly, making his anger visible and I wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Be careful Ray. I might think you actually care" I countered and he huffed.
"You're right." He straightened himself "I don't"
My heart sank "You are nothing but a sadistic mo…"
He wrapped a hand around my neck and pressed his lips into mine, channeling all his rage into the kiss. He sucked the air from my body and I fought to catch my breath. I groaned beneath him, as he used his free hand to pull me closer and I held unto him helplessly, the intensity making me flustered and light-headed. I tried pushing him off as the last of my rapidly depleting air was drawn from me and I began to tremble from the shock of it. It wasn't his normal passionate, playful or soft kisses. No. This was clumped with wrath and resentment.
He pulled away and stepped back in panic, his breathing rapid and uneven and I tried to bring back life to my limbs as I struggled to keep standing.
"I hate you too." He eyed me coldly, his words running a spear through my heart "I can't be next to right now. Go to Aleecia" he continued softly after a brief pause, fury still trailing closely behind his words. He walked away and I scanned the lowly trimmed yard, the tears of powerlessness returning.
When would this end?