Vasili
"Mary please. Just for one second just stop being so fucking self absorbed!" I yelled from the kitchen as she complained in my bedroom.
She took a few seconds to respond so I figured she had not heard me till she came marching into the kitchen wearing only her undergarments. Before the sight had me very interested, but now her pale skin seemed to be as appealing as dead grass. "I'm not being self absorbed! If we are going to this ball I have to look my best. Who knows who I could potentially have an interview with?"
"This is not about work. I asked you to support me and now you're making it about yourself. Can't you just support me for once without changing the narrative," I hissed gripping the cup of coffee unintentionally tight.
"Sorry Vasili that I want to take this opportunity to catapult my career as well. Fine I promise I won't go around snooping I'll just be your perfect little submissive girlfriend," she stormed out the kitchen once again.
"Thank you!" I said rather sarcastically and rolled my eyes. Mary and I had been arguing ever since our dinner with Edward which was understandable. I just could not get him out of my head and I could tell she noticed. The first night her and I were together I shrugged off any form of intimacy with the excuse I was tired. A few days later we tried once again and I just could not get into it. Every time her lips were on mine I compared them to Edwards. Each time I saw her half naked or naked I just did not feel anything.
I felt horrible and I found myself shutting her out. It felt like I was at a crossroad. On one hand I could willingly go to Edward and tell him I was willing to give whatever we had a shot. On the other other I could stay with Mary and continue this toxic cycle of bickering till one of us gives or I just learn to be attracted to her once again. Although both sides had consequences; I had no idea if Edward was actually interested or if this was a new journey for him. I had learned to know him for the past few weeks and I trusted him more than anyone I knew, but his reputation spoke for itself.
The man changed women like one changed their underwear and I was not sure if he had just gotten bored of women. What if I went through with it, only for him to realize I just did not do it anymore for him? I would have lost Mary for a waste of time. Then again if I decided to go with Mary I would lose this chance to figure out myself. My experience with Edward was clear evidence I was not as straight as I thought. I could deny that it was just a burst of lust, but I would be lying to myself. I would live the rest of my life with a 'what if?' And I just could not do that too myself.
Now back to the present Edward was holding a ball for a launch for a building he had renovated to cater for different companies. It was a large scale project he had been working on for years and it would bring in a high revenue to his company every month. He had been excited about it for weeks and I could imagine how he was feeling now. Since I had barely seen him this week and we did not really talk since the dinner I had no idea what was going on inside his head.
Therefore I asked Mary to join me which she seemed fairly excited for, but now I really regretted inviting her. I was wearing a black tuxedo with a bow tie and white shirt. A part of me wished I had came up with an excuse to just not attend, but I knew Edward wanted me there before anything that happened. Plus he sent an invitation a few days ago and that just confirmed he wanted me there. How I could not say no to him? I would never understand.
After an hour Mary was ready in a blood red long ball gown which really made her hair pop. Even though I was beyond irritated with her I could not help, but smile slightly at how beautiful she looked. "You look stunning," I kissed her cheek and held her gently.
She sighed and looked up to me, "thank you," she smiled softly. We looked into each others eyes for a few seconds and I could see the wheels turning inside her head. "I'm sorry. I just got excited and it was wrong of me. This is your event and you're right. I should just be there to support you and whatever happens, happens."
"Thank you," her words put me at ease and I felt a bit lighter. Edward knew me surprising well and he would be able to spot from miles away that there was something wrong with Mary and I before I even uttered a word.
Mary and I drove to the ball with my car since I did not feel like dealing with any drivers when things were this awkward between her and I. As we pulled up it was obvious what a huge event this was going to be. Lights surrounded the building making it brighter than anything surrounding it. A red carpet was laid on the entrance stairs and photographers lined the sides as if it was an award ceremony. There were limousines and super cars lined up as businessmen and celebrities made their way inside.
"Edward really doesn't play around," Mary nervously chuckled as it dawned upon us what high status people were attending.
"Yeah," was all I managed to whisper as I felt my palms become sweaty. This was too much.
A valet driver took my car once Mary and I had climbed out. Since I had been spotted with Edward so much these days the cameras seemed to not get enough of me. People questioned me on who the woman beside me was, but I simply ignored them as I helped Mary up the stairs. The journey to the entrance seemed to last for hours when in reality it was just a few minutes. When we entered an usher showed us to the ballroom which was decorated in all kinds of fancy decor. It reminded me of something you would see out of the movies.
The ceiling was brightened by multiple chandeliers that probably cost more than my penthouse. The floor was a black marble with gold veins running through it. The gigantic room was divided into a lounge area, the dining, a large dance floor, the bar and entertaining area whilst a live band performed. A waitress offered us a glass of champagne or wine as we stepped in and I opted for wine whilst Mary went for champagne.
"Vasili," a woman called out. When I turned I found Allison happily walking towards me wearing a black cocktail dress.
"Allison," I smiled happily at a familiar face. I gave her a friendly hug and introduced her to Mary. "So where's the man of the hour?" I chuckled as she led me to the table her, Mary, John, Edward, myself and a few other business partners would be sharing. Coincidentally enough I would be seated next to Edward which had my nerves all over the place. It felt like the first time I had met him.
Just as we got settled in we noticed everyone stand up and focus on the entrance. All of us at the table decided to as well since we were all curious. As if the world moved in slow motion there he came waltzing in with a dazzling navy blue suit that had diamonds at random intervals. His hair was gelled so that it looked wet. He exposed a bit of his chest as well. It felt like in that moment all I saw was him as he greeted everyone. Nearly everyone wanted to have a second with him and with a beautiful smile he willingly obliged.
His smile was bright and I promise at a point I had seen a star on one of his pearly whites.
"Should we go over to him?" Mary asked.
"Nope. He usually won't even notice till he gets to the table. He has a lot of important people to talk to," Allison laughed as we sat back down.
"Oh yeah," I whispered feeling suddenly sad. Even though I hated being in large crowds a part of me really wished I was at Edwards side. Who would not want to be by Edwards side? He was everything and more. Whenever he entered the room he brightened it up and captured everyones attention. He walked like he owned everything which he most probably did. To think a few days ago I had his lips on mine and now it felt like we were worlds apart.
After nearly an hour he approached our table with a lazy smile on his face. When he approached we all stood up automatically to greet him. His business partners were first, John, Allison, he kissed Mary on the cheek then finally me. "Vasili," he said it so softly I was afraid that I just dreamed it.
"Hi," I tried to be my confident self, but when his eyes connected with mine it felt like everything had drifted away. It was just the two of us in those few seconds.
"Lovely to see you brought Mary," his voice was so genuine I was not sure if he was irritated I asked her to tag along or genuinely pleased.
"It took some work," I chuckled trying to break the tension. He simply smiled and looked down. My eyes followed his and it seemed subconsciously my hand positioned itself on the small of Marys back. He frowned slightly and as if she was on fire my hand immediately retracted. She looked a bit surprised, but shrugged it off as we all sat down.
Being next to Edward like this was harder than I thought. We were right next to each other yet we could not be further. Normally we engaged in an amusing conversation, but now we could barely look each other in the eye. We enjoyed a small dinner, well everyone else did I felt sick to my stomach. The way Edward was so nonchalant about the whole situation had me slightly stressed. He did not seem as tense as me and it drove me crazy. Did he just let the idea of us go so easily? Because I was in a constant battle with myself.
"So Edward, how come you did not come with a beautiful date today?" His business partner David asked. From what I remembered Edward was not too particularly fond of David and I was starting to understand why.
"They chose to be with someone else," Edward chuckled and I nearly choked on my drink. To everyone else it was just a joke, but I knew that it was an indirect jab.
"That is ridiculous! Anyone would kill to be by your side," Peter, another investor chuckled as if it was a no brainer.
"I'm not everyones type," he simply responded with a smirk. I nearly lost my shit at what he had said. From the corner of his eye I could see him eye Mary before rolling his eyes. It pissed me off slightly that he would be so childish about the matter. He knew it was something I could not figure out in a matter of hours.
As if things could not get any worse a woman dressed in a tight long blue dress came over to the table. She leaned down and whispered something to Edward which he smiled too. "Excuse me, but the lovely lady would like to have a dance," he then took her hand and led her to the dance floor. I could not help, but watch as he delicately wrapped his arm around her lower back and take her hand in his as they moved slowly to the song playing. The woman had dark black hair and looked middle eastern.
They chatted amongst themselves before laughing at whatever the other said. I felt a pit form in my stomach as I watched them. I knew this was just an experiment. That whatever he felt for me was just a false manifestation he had. The first opportunity he had with a woman he jumped at it and I felt so terribly used. I felt ashamed. "Mary can we go? I don't feel well."
"Oh, but Vasili things were just getting started," she whined and pouted.
"I'll leave I can see you are enjoying yourself. Allison can you bring her home for me?" I asked standing up.
"Oh yes. Plus her and I were just getting along," she laughed softly.
"I'll see you later," I kissed Marys forehead and hurriedly walked away. She still looked a bit baffled by my sudden departure, but if I stayed any longer I would have gone crazy.
When I got outside I was relieved to find that it was mostly empty as the hype of the party had died down. The valet driver offered to get my car, but I just asked him to point me in the right direction. I needed some air and waiting here in front of the stairs left me slightly vulnerable. As I walked I heard my name being called out. I was a bit confused on where it was coming from so I turned and unexpectedly I saw Edward running towards me.
I turned around and continued walking to my car, I was not in the mood to deal with him. "Vasili," I felt his warm hand wrap around my wrist and stop me.
"What Edward?" I hissed pulling my hand away.
"Why did you leave?" He asked catching his breathe and inching towards me.
"It seemed you were occupied and I was tired," I sounded blunt and rude, but I did not care.
"Vasili that was my sister-in-law. She's married to one of Marcos brothers," he sighed and ran his hand through his perfect hair.
My cheeks reddened as embarrassment washed over me. "Oh," I whispered.
"Yeah exactly oh. Why would you just storm out? I've been looking forward to this for months couldn't you just stay for me," he sounded so awfully disappointed that I immediately felt like apologizing.
"I'm sorry I just..."
"You just got jealous yeah I get that. Imagine how I feel seeing you with Mary tonight. Vasili you made the choice to pick her. I don't think it's fair of you to get upset with me just because I decided to dance with a woman. You should know me better now and know that is not who I am anymore," his voice rose slightly as he seemed to get more and more frustrated.
"Well I'm sorry Edward. It's hard for me too. I don't know what the hell is going on with me. With us, with Mary. Everything feels like this one big jumbled up mess that I can't wrap my head around. A part of me wants you more than anything, but another part of me is worried you just find this to be a new conquest!"
"Wow. Just wow. Do you think that you're the only one who is at risk at losing something here? Vasili do you see this building behind me, there are people in that building right now that I do business with on a daily basis. If they found out I was with a man some would loose their shits Vasili. Everyone who is anyone knows me here! And I'm willing to put everything at risk for you can't you see that," he was so close to me now I could feel his chest moving against mine.
"You can't say that," I whispered.
"Why not Vasili? Tell me why I can't?" His hand moved to the back of my neck as he firmly held me in place. It was not threatening or violent, but anchoring. It was like he could tell I was about to have a nervous breakdown.
"Because I want you," my voice was barely audible, but enough for him to hear. Silence fell like a blanket on top of us as we stood there next to my car. "But I can't right now." I could see the visible pain of rejection on Edwards face as his breathe hitched. He immediately took a step away from me and put his hands in his pockets.
"Well that's good to know," his voice held no emotion as he simply nodded and walked away. Even though it was my words, I leaned against my car and burst into tears as I watched his back disappear into the building.