It hurt, and it hurt a lot, no matter how much I clawed at my head with my hands. It's tough to define the pain; it was more of a mental pain than a physical one, yet I perceived it as physical suffering. I didn't know how to deal with it, which is why I preferred to think of it as physical pain because it can be eased by a series of actions.
It felt as if the pain was attempting to penetrate the deep depths of my conscience, exposing my desires, secrets, pain, feelings, and emotions. It seemed as if I were a helpless target for whatever this mental attack was.
It seemed odd and exciting at the same time. It seemed as if I were experiencing something new, like a youngster who had just learnt or experienced something new. It was painful yet new but this did not relieve the pain, so my suffering continued as time passed on like a passerby, watching these events unfold one by one.
Despite the fact that my mental powers capabilities were impaired by pain and suffering, I could still tell how much time had approximately passed. No, I knew the exact amount of time in seconds from the instant the pain rendered me immobile. I was counting in the hopes of making the pain go away faster; not that it worked, but it still soothed me in its own way.
1, 2, 3, 4...189, 190, 191, 192, 193...394, 395...
Seconds passed by as they turned into minutes rendering the counting more and more difficult as time passed but it was at around the 6 minute mark when all of a sudden, the pain was gone, replaced by what seemed to be a vision of my own unconsciousness, a part of my memory along with hateful emotions.
Memories flooded my mind, they came as they wished one by one and left in the exact same way.
The memory of hating what one would call disgusting food, such as vegetables in the eye of a child.
I was seeing a memory of when my so-called parents drove me to commit actions I never would do, to do things a child is never supposed to do. They abused their control and I could all of a sudden feel a part of my hatred and disgust at these people. At their way of life, using me as a therapy tool for their problems and emotions, a hardly 7 year old child.
I could see the memory of my bullies, trying to have fun by harming another human, harming and tainting me in ways no creature deserves to be treated in. I could feel the emotions of all those times, compiled in a single pack. All the disgust I felt towards their way of having fun, their way of justifying their actions.
I was capable of remembering the response of adults towards my complaints about those who made fun of me. Their way of ignoring me and putting it all as children playing even if they knew the truth. I remembered the exact details of their lies for seeking support at such times like it was yesterday. It was disgusting how they lied yet never helped, never kept a promise, never sought to play the role of a proper adult.
I was remembering every single emotion of disgust I felt at another's actions, at a certain item, creature, food and life but it was slowly fading away. Each memory and emotion was showing me more of the same thing, disgust at another achieves nothing, it brings nothing, it only changes one's perspective.
IT IS UNREQUIRED TO FEEL DISGUST.
Disgust wastes time, like how it fasted many hours of my time in both my previous form and this new form. It only brings harm, no benefits, no advantages and definitely no change.
Yet I knew shadows of oneself or of one's actions are always formed by disgust. Disgust at their behavior and personality. Shadows bring out the truth out of an individual; they show the truth, making them powerful tools. Shadows are the darkness in the light, the dark truth in the light which tends to lie. No, I didn't know this stuff, it was being taught to me or I was learning right there and then.
And that was it, my mind went blank, no thoughts, no more memories, no more pai...
"AHHHHHH", my scream once again filled the forest. Portraying my suffering to all who are willing to watch.
At that moment, I was filled with many memories not belonging to me. Knowledge that was not from this world. Concepts that are seen as strangers to a human but for some unknown reason I could comprehend and learn everything. It all made sense to me and me alone. Why? I do not know nor am I interested in finding out as of right now.
It was finished. I had gained something, something worthy and unbelievable. A concept that might change everything not only about me but also about the world.
I had gained the ability to control shadows!!
It took me a couple of minutes to regain my balance and get up from the ground. I sat down near a tree to support my back in order for me to able to process everything that just occurred. My head was still in a bit of a daze but had regained most of my thinking capabilities.
I had gained the knowledge to cast shadows. Obviously I am mostly talking about normal shadows, not ones that can move or whatever.
It was as if the ability had always been within me locked away due to my lack of knowledge of how to use or activate it but now I seem to have the knowledge to create shadows out of nowhere. How cool is that?
It looks as if the ability is still somewhat within the concepts of the real world, not weird shadowy creatures that can bring mass destruction. I feel sad but still excited since I gained something magical.
Based on my knowledge and memories that I gained, I can cast shadows without the concern for the existence of a light source. It seems as if these shadows operate without the need of light which does go against the knowledge of humans but again humans might not know everything. Who knows, it's not like I care about the how or why, I just care about the ability itself.
One of the memories showed the shadows being casted upon the caster himself, who in my memory seemed to be from the exact same species as me, a dark indigo demon with grainy features.
The other memory was also showing a creature very similar to me casting shadows in his surroundings or on other material.
The overall knowledge I gained regarding the way to cast shadows and the two memories have given me the required details on this ability. Now to try it out to see if it works.
I bring my hand up and aim at a location 10 meters away from me, I then extend my hand and try to imagine a somewhat dark shadow in that location, covering a part of a tree and the ground, but no such thing occurs. I repeat the same action once more just to fail again.
I was stupefied, was I dreaming? Have I gone crazy?
I tried the same thing on my body by imagining a shadow covering me and...It worked!!
I could see my figure had become much darker, the ground reflected a much darker shadow of mine as well. This would be perfect for hiding. My whole body looked like a shadow, a shadow big enough to hide the outline of a human shaped creature and it was also much darker as well.
So it does work. With this I tried to cast it on the ground once again but closer to my location, maybe this ability comes with a limited range. I once again extend my hand and imagine a normal cubic shadow 2 meters from where I stand. I feel as if I am getting injured at the same time. It only takes a few seconds to form a 50 cm wide and 50 cm long square on the ground.
I examine the shadow with curiosity, trying to observe the magnificent shadow I just created. I then try to test the range of this ability. It takes around 3 tries to find out that I am incapable of casting a shadow on an object that is outside of the 5 meter radius around me. Hmm, interesting.
This is definitely exciting, not only can I use it for hiding but it can also be used for traveling and ambushing. I am definitely excited as it can be seen from my actions, but... why do I feel... a bit weaker than a minute ago? Am I injured?