Dear heart why him

Lets be honest with ourselves. It's probably not a good idea to ignore a person and keep on doing so until you've had enough and say to yourself sure why not, lets give this pour soul a chance..

"Mom please hurry, I really need this shirt to go to Allison's house." i yelled at my mom.
Sleepover with my best friend.. I haven't seen her in so long and now I'm going to a sleepover with her. As my mom came waddling in with her pregnant belly, i said "gosh, I am sorry i forgot I'm having a baby sister."

She laughed and literally laughed.. What a nice sound since she got pregnant again i haven't heard it in a while. I took my shirt from her and folded it neatly to put in my bag. Zipped it close and looked her straight into the eyes.." I love you so much baby, I hope you know that." I giggled and said "Of course i do. You tell me this everyday when i wake up."

"Off you go. I'll let Rick drop you off," she said smiling.. I hugged her goodbye and went out the door seeing Rick all ready at the front door, ready for me.. Dropping me off at Allison's and riding away, back to mom yet again..

Macey!! she yelled and came running in my direction.. I smiled at her way of greeting me. "I do hope you brought something pretty or something that you can wear when i through this party of mine." And just like her. Allison's leaving all this details out when she invited me over.. Great guess I'll have to wear skinny jeans and the shirt i was looking for. Her smile faded from her face as soon as sge saw that i was upset..

" O, Macey. I forgot didn't I. " she asked in a dead serious tone. I nodded my head not being able to talk otherwise I would be screaming her head of her shoulders right about now. She took my bag and went inside, with me following her footsteps. I kept repeating to myself that she just had one of het moments where she forgets everything and only tells me what she thinks i need to hear.

In her room we sat on the bed and talked about what happed in our life's in the past 8 months. At about 4 she decided we should get ready for this party that she is hosting..
Going well more like pulling out and leaving it on the floor she picked out what she was going to wear and also my clothing. Showering, washing my hair, shaving and brushing my teeth. Allison doing my hair and makeup and me returning the favour.

Gosh how i missed this. When we grew up together we loved to do this all the time and as many times as possible. After doing her finishing touches she looked at me with the widest smile and said, okay lets go get everything ready. Running down the stairs we got everything ready for the party. Luckily for us some guys bring their own drinks so we'll have enough to last us a whole month or two.

Allison started letting in her guests in.. Not even a hour in and the whole house was packed with teenagers smelling of booze and sweat. I was sitting in a conner of Allison's living room when I recognised a few faces. The faces that belonged to my big brother and his gang of goons. Praying that Jake or any of his goons see me.. My prayers not being answered, when i looked their way. Jason already saw me and whispered in my brother's ear pointing in my direction.

They started to make their way in my direction. My brother wearing a disapproving look, while the others were smirking. What is it with them not leaving me alone for once in their lives. Reaching me Jake looked me up and down. "What are you wearing" he sneered. "Clothes. Hopefully. Unlike some of these sluts here that you like to bang dear brother." i said calmly.

"Oo looks like somebody grew some insults with her new look Jakey-boy" Jason decided to make him heard.. Rolling my eyes at him, i decided to stay quiet. "Macey, im just looking out for you.. Do you know how many guys would love to get there hands on you, just so they can say they took my baby sisters innocence away.. And all that just so they can get back at me," he said while his eyes flashed darker with each word.

" Yeah and who's fault is that Jake.. Not mine. I didn't drag your name through the mud. You decided on your own to follow dad's career Jake.. Even when you knew me and mom hated it.. Do you even know that he left her a few weeks ago with a baby on the way just so he can make sure no body is going against him in his other businesses" i whisper yelled at him

There i decide to take my leave and walked ro the kitchen to get me a drink. While pouring myself a drink i didn't notice the footsteps coming my way. You shouldn't be so hard on him M a voice startled me. I looked up at his hazel storming eyes. Not saying something at first, because of the way he looked at me. "You don't understand Jace. I know he tells you everything, but you don't understand how it breaks me to know i don't know who he is anymore" i said barley above a whisper with an few tears slipping down my face..

He lifted my chin up with two of his fingers so he can look me in the eyes. He stared right into my eyes whipping away a few stray tears that still leaked from my eyes. "Macey, i understand what you are saying all im asking of you is to try to see in his eyes. Try to make sense of what he wants you to understand. Try to believe in him," he said almost chocking at his words at the end.

He looked at my eyes at quickly at my lips and back to my eyes. Instead of what i thought he was going to do. He brought me in for a hug and kissed my head. He lets go leaving me cold and longing for his touch.
Why does if seem like i can't ignore my problem. My problem being him.