Nathan
Closing the door to the house I'm so pissed. Mostly at myself but also at Alex for thinking he can just pull her back in like she is waiting around for him. I doubt he even goes over there. Then my dumbass saying I was seeing Sarah when I had the perfect opportunity to tell him the truth. Why can't I just stop screwing this up? I'm always making it worse. I head to my room laying across the bed. The fire has gone out and my pillows still smell like Kat. How has so much happened in twenty-four hours? Turning on some much-needed music and closing my eyes. I let my mind escape to the familiar words of John Mayer's "Gravity". It shuffles through a few more similar songs when my phone starts ringing in my pocket. It's Kathyrn... I swipe the screen and answer acting like nothing is wrong "Hello beautiful! Do you miss me already." she ignores what I said "Nathan did you tell Alex that you are seeing Sarah?" Damn, I knew I should have blown him off. "Yeah I did and I don't even know why I said that. He was all in my face asking me questions when I got home he was here. Waiting on me..." I go through the spill of what happened and what was said. "You do realize you had the perfect opportunity to tell him the truth? Right? I'm not mad I just don't understand what kind of hold his friendship has over you. Sarah is seeing Jax she told me this morning and she knows about us. I told her and she didn't care." Looks like I'm the only one screwing things up around here. "I'm sorry Kat! I thought I would have time to think about what I was going to say." she is quiet for a few seconds and says "I don't know why it's so complicated for you. I want more than late-night hookups and secret dates." I am shocked is she saying she wants more with me or in general... "What do you mean? Like you want more with me?" She snaps back "Yeah that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm not just wasting my time here. At first no I didn't see anything with you. But the more time that goes on..." and she stops I'm trying to wait patiently then she says "You know what nevermind. It's been a long day already I have to go." and hangs up on me.
It's been a little over a month it's almost December and I haven't heard from her she hasn't answered any of my calls, none of my text even though it says she read them. Hell, I don't even know what really happened she was getting ready to tell me something and then just decided not to. We can never meet each other halfway. It's so easy to be with her to let myself get caught up in her. She is like the sun in my solar system. I'm orbiting around her I could spend forever in her atmosphere. I just can't seem to tell her that the one person who needs to know it. I've told no one but my dad how I feel and I didn't take his advice like I knew I should. It's constantly back and forth. I have a need for her that I can't fill with anyone else and I don't even try.
Friday rolls around tonight is a live music show at The Tavern and Alex is insisting I go. I don't even want to I have no clue who the person is that is performing. And their food isn't hitting on shit. I'm waiting for him to pull up. I am wearing a dark green flannel, my dark wash jeans, and boots, topped my favorite tan ball cap. I hear Alex pull up I grab my jacket and walk out the door when I stop in my tracks Kathryn's car pulls up. Alex opens the passenger side door waving me to come on. This is not what I had in mind I miss her so much now I have to endure a night with the two of them. I get in the back seat and I can smell her honey shampoo instantly. She doesn't even turn to look at me. She backs up and pulls out the driveway the two of them talk on the way to the bar Alex playing music from his phone mostly 80s music that seems to be one thing they have in common. They flow together so well I can barely watch him flirt with her and Kat giving him those same sweet smiles she uses to give me. The only difference is I know there was something real between them and I'm starting to think there still is. No matter what it's like between us we could never be like they are. Alex keeps talking about a song I had played a while back a John Mayer song called "In Your Atmosphere" and it stings because it describes how I feel around her. He can't find it to play it I'm relieved.
We pull up to the bar, she finally turns to face me and says "Maybe you can play it for me on the way home." I just nod her saying anything caught me completely off guard. We get out the car she's wearing a dark orange love sleeve shirt with big flowing sleeves a black vest with dark skinny jeans and brown ankle boots like before. Her hair is natural tight curls falling down her back. She always looks so put together. I'm coming around the car I want her to see me to look at me. She doesn't avoiding any eye contact at all. I will get her attention tonight one way or another. We make our way into The Tavern and grab a table. She sits across from us by herself. When the waitress comes by she orders wings all flats teriyaki. Her smile gleaming as she thanks her before she walks off. Alex's voice comes out loud over the music "Hail I'm going to grab a beer do you want one." I answer him quickly "Yeah I'll buy next round." He walks towards the bar leaving us alone "Kat will you talk to me? Tell me what going on?" She doesn't look up at me from her phone she ignores me and says nothing the waitress comes back with her food and she starts eating like I'm not even here. Maybe she didn't hear me so I decide to say something else "Kathryn tell me what's wrong? What happened for you to stop talking to me." She doesn't even look up she just says "Nothing happened... I'm done." As soon as she closes her mouth Alex is already back and we are on to talking about my new upcoming job she shows no interest at all. After thirty minutes she gets up from the table and goes to the bar there is a guy sitting there the same one who was singing. Is she here to see him? He gives her a big hug they have to be old friends he kisses her on her cheek. Who the hell is this guy?? Alex notices to and says "She is acting super weird since I went over there a few weeks ago. I told her how I felt and honestly I don't think she cares she was just being nice and formal." I turn to him pulling my attention away from the two of them. "She doesn't seem to want to be here with us tonight that's for sure."
After Kathryn comes back to the tables Alex starts up a conversation it's her "So who is the guy?" She looks up at him with a confused look on her face "Y'all haven't heard of Weston McCoy? He's local!" She both shake our heads no honestly he doesn't have much talent, not in acoustic music. She continues talking "He use to play at a lot of bars when I was in college that's how I know him." I speak up without thinking "He looked friendly and his music kinda sucks." Alex speaks up right after me "Yeah I agree." She gives me a warning look and says "I'm ready when y'all are." We get up and grab our jackets she waves bye to the half-drunk singer and we go towards the car.
After we get into the car she turns to me I'm expecting her to tell me off or have a smart ass remark as she does to Alex but instead, she hands me the auxiliary cord and says "So let's hear that amazing song y'all were talking about." Giving me a small smirk I almost forgot that Alex is here wanting to reach out and pull her into me. Instead, I take the cord and plug it into my phone and start the song. The familiar sound of one of John Mayer's classic hits plays through the speakers of the car as we head back towards her house. The lyrics taking over my thoughts "Cause I'd die if I saw you. I'd die if I didn't see you there" just as the song end Alex says "Let's go by a party on the way home we don't have to stay long but we were invited." As we pull up at the party I don't recognize any of the cars here except maybe one or two. We get out and walk into the garage I see more familiar faces and out of the corner of my eye, I see Kathryn hug a dark-haired guy with a beard. She was just standing right beside me. He's real friendly he wraps his arm around her as they talk amongst themselves. He must be an old flame or wishing he was. It pisses me off the longer she talks to him when she is finally free from him another guy who is taller walks over to speak to her he's not as friendly as the last but it still burns me up to see everyone wanting what was once mine. Alex bumps my elbow he's talking to three local girls Leah, Katelyn, and Jo. All younger than us but Jo has always been attracted to Alex he just doesn't see it. He's still so wrapped up in Kat. Glancing back over my shoulder to check on her the guy with the dark hair has her attention again. He's a decent looking guy with the same dark hair and olive skin as Kat. He's leaner than me maybe a little taller. He's all about her in a way I can't be. I already see his game and I be damn if he thinks that's happening tonight. She goes to walk away back over to where we are and he follows her. When she stops beside me she looks at me and he's right behind her wrapping his arm around her slim shoulders they would look good together but that shit is not gonna happen. I'll cock block the hell outta this prick. She smiles at him but it doesn't reach her eyes like I've grown to love. He introduces himself to me "Hey man, I'm Michael." reaching out a hand to shake mine. I return the gesture squeezing as hard as I can when I release he flexes his hand a little. I'm beyond ready to go then all hell breaks loose in walks Sarah and Tallon. I'm screwed!