Alex's POV
Nicky stayed for 3 more days at the hospital before she got discharged. Her girlfriend Amelia, was on the warpath when we informed her we rush Nicky to the hospital and she gave her a very long lecture for not telling her she was sick. It was funny seeing Nicky being chewed out. Me and Piper were trying to hold back ourselves from giggling infront of Nicky but in the end I couldn't take it anymore and I grab Piper and pull her out of the room before we started laughing infront of them.
"Did you see her face?". I asked Piper.
"Yeah, you can tell she's so pissed off. Jesus! Amelia is much worse than Nicky's mom". Piper said laughing.
"Nicky, finally found her match". I said.
"Hey guys! What are you doing here?". Arizona just walk around the corner and found us giggling.
"Oh hey, Arizona!". Piper greeted her.
"What are you two giggling about? I can hear you down the hallway".
"Oh, it's just Nicky, her girlfriend just found out she was admitted... She's furious". I informed her.
From the outside of the room we can hear them arguing.
"Sounds like she released the kraken". Arizona chimed in.
"Definitely!". I agreed.
*****************************
Later that day Nicky was discharged. She and Amelia went back to Nicky's place while me and Piper went home.
Piper, was unusually quiet on the ride home. When she's driving she would talk constantly about anything, like the weather, the traffic, the pedestrian crossing the street or the slow driver infront of us. So I can easily tell when something's bugging her.
"Are you okay?". I asked and reached for her free hand.
I can manage to drive now, but Piper still doesn't trust me behind the wheel.
She snapped out of her deep thoughts and stare back at me. She looks like she has something on her mind.
"Yeah, I'm okay". I can also tell when she's lying.
"If something's eating away at you, just tell me now so we'll get over it pretty quickly".
"Really it's nothing". She lied again.
"I can tell when something's eating on you. Spit it out, Piper!".
She heard the change in my tone and her eyes tightened.
She took a long, deep breath before speaking.
"Do you... do you ever want to have kids"? She said and cleared her throat.
I knew this topic was coming sooner. She was acting weird the moment I mention about wanting to have a baby. I know we never discussed this before, but the thought of having my own family is always there and after seeing those tiny humans just unearthed those feelings. I was really hoping Piper felt the same way, because if she doesn't then we have a big problem.
Piper's POV
I'm sure parenthood can be one of the most amazing times in your life, but it is a major responsibly that I'm not prepared for.
"Yes, Ofcourse I do, I mean, wouldn't it be nice having our own kids?". Alex answered.
"Alex, I don't-" I swallowed a big lump in my throat because I know that what I'm about to say will hurt her and the thought of me hurting Alex, is killing me.
"I don't know if I want children".
I watched as Alex's green eyes turned black. She blinked rapidly as if trying to hold back her tears and I watched how her face turned grave.
"Why not?". Her voice quivering.
I turn back my attention on the road, I'm glad I have an excuse not to stare at her pained face.
"I like how our life is now, I am completely happy with just the two of us. I am happy with you and I'm afraid that if we have children it'll just complicate everything".
"How can you say that? We don't even know... I mean-" She trailed off. I know she's trying to collect her thoughts. She didn't say anything and I risk looking at her. Her eyes were closed, and her hands pressed against her temples. Her shoulders curved inward defensively.
"I didn't think... I thought you... I thought you want to have a family with me". It is so hard hearing her like this.
"I do, Alex... You are my family... I can picture our life together and it is full and rich... and amazing. But there weren't kids in the picture. I'm just not ready for it and I'm not sure if I'll ever be... I'm so sorry, Alex".
"No, Don't be... I should've said something sooner". She said and turn her head to stare at the window.
We were quiet the rest of the way home. Neither one of us wanted to talk anymore.
When we arrive home Alex went straight to our bedroom and I decided to stay in the living room for a moment trying to collect my own thoughts and also I am trying to give Alex some space. She needed it.
After a while I decided it's safe to go in the room and check on her. I stood at the door and I found Alex fresh out of the shower, there's a towel wrap around her head and she's only wearing her bra and she's half way through pulling on her jeans. She didn't look in my direction but I know she was aware of my presence. She grab her shirt and put it on. She looks like she's going somewhere.
"Where are you going?".
"I just-..." She took a deep breath.
"I just need to be alone". I stand there rooted on the floor.
"So, where are you going?". I asked again calmly.
"I don't know, Piper!" She snapped. I know she's angry that's why she's lashing out on me. "I need to think, I need some space away from this... and from you".
She needs space away from me? Her last sentence struck me. I'm trying to fight back the tears which is threatening to engulf me.
"You know this is not necessary, just because we don't agree on something, so you'll just what? Leave? You are being childish!". I shouted.
I hate seeing her like this, but I don't want her to leave just because we have a disagreement.
"I need to think Piper! and you can't just dismissed what I feel. I just could not... not feel being hurt and confused. I want more from this relationship and I need to think if all this is worth it".
What does she mean worth it? I was perplexed but I didn't say anything.
She finished dressing up and comb her hair, after that she walk to her dresser and grab her jacket and left the room. She passed beside me but careful not to make any contact. Her footsteps echo off the wooden floor, and I watch her grab her car keys and disappear through the front door. She slam the door behind her, making me jump.
This would be the first time she'll be driving again after her accident and it made me anxious thinking about her driving.
I want to stop her but I know it won't end well, so I let her go.
I woke up the next day and I automatically reach out on Alex's side of the bed but it's empty and cold, her pillow is neat just like last night.
After our conversation yesterday I spent most of my night crying, I only stopped when I heard Alex came home. I pretended I was asleep, I felt her went to the bathroom and showered. After that she went outside to the living room and I fell asleep waiting for her to come back in our bed.
I checked the clock and it's 8 am. Alex, would've been awake half an hour ago so I got up and went outside. Usually this time she's in the kitchen making breakfast, but when I went out, the kitchen is empty. I found a note on the counter
Went for a jog. Be back later.
A.
That's it. She just left me a note.
I went back to our room and took a shower. I wasn't in the mood to eat breakfast anymore so after dressing up I grab my keys and went to work.
When I got home that night I went home to an empty house. Her car wasn't in the driveway when I arrived.
*******************************
This went on for a few more days, Alex, was completely ignoring me and I barely saw her at home. She woul leave early in the morning before I even wake up and she would sleep in Nicky's room at night. When I get home after work she wouldn't even talk to me. I wonder how long this would keep on going.
She totally shut me off and I'm afraid that if I don't do something to fix this, it's going to cost me my marriage. Alex have a pattern of keeping things to herself and I was the only one she trust enough that she doesn't hide anything from me. But right now, maybe she felt like she can't trust me anymore that she feels the need to escape from me. My worst nightmare is that she would push me away forever.
I am in my office and I decided to send Alex a text, this is getting ridiculous and I have to put a stop to it. We both need to talk about this.
Me: Alex, we need to talk tonight. Please wait for me at home.
I was waiting for her reply all afternoon. I was getting angrier every minute that she's ignoring me. She can't do this to me just because we don't agree on something that she wanted.
I spend my day at the office waiting for her reply. I can't focus on my work and I keep glancing at my phone.
I went home that night without a single reply from her and as expected I came home to an empty house.
This is crazy! she can't keep acting like this. I know she's hurt but she can't ignore me forever.
I pick up my phone and call her.
I was confused when I heard her phone ring in the bed room. I went to look for it and it's inside the bathroom on top of the sink. She might've forgotten to take it with her when she left.
"Great!". I murmured to my self.
I waited for her at the living room to come home and I fell asleep on the couch.
I was woken up by around 2 am by a car door slamming. It's Alex so I immediately got up and waited for her to come inside.
I heard a lot of shuffling outside before the door burst open.
"Come on, there you go". I heard a raspy voice.
"Nicky?".
"Piper, can you help me please". She called back. I walk around the couch and when I reach the door I saw Alex's arm drape around Nicky's shoulder. She's drunk and she can barely walk.
"What the hell!"
I rush to help Nicky. I grab Alex's other arm and help Nicky carry her to the couch.
"Hi, wifey". Alex murmured, her breath is hot and smells of alcohol.
"Alright, Let's just take a sit here". I said.
"I'm fine... I'm fine" Alex babbled.
"Yes, I'm sure you are" I replied while we helped her sit on the couch. I never realized how heavy Alex, is. I then bent down to take off her shoes and she picks a lock of my hair and sniff it.
"Wow! your hair smells so good, and it is so soft". She then proceeds to rub it on her cheek.
Jesus Christ! She's wasted.
After I took her shoes off I let her lay down on the couch.
"Are you good here? I'm going to toilet". Nicky said.
"Yes, I'll be fine here".
Alex, sit up and grab my hand and pull me towards her.
"You are so sexy and I want you". She blurted and hook her fingers to her shirt and was about to take it off. I immediately grab her hands.
"Okay, okay, we don't do that here, Alex". I said and pull her shirt down.
"Just lay here, I'll be right back". I said and push her gently back on the couch.
I walk to the kitchen to get a bowl and warm water, when suddenly Alex, sit up again and call for me. Ugh shit! Even when she's drunk Alex is still so stubborn.
"Piper, where are you?". I didn't answer back.
I was just watching her and waiting for her next move. She slowly stood up when she realized I wasn't around her. Drunk Alex is hilarious.
Her face glows when she found me. I was trying not to laugh at her face.
"Oh there you are! Hi!". She said and wave her hand when she spotted me in the kitchen.
Oh my God!
She was swaying and I don't want her to fall so I run back to the living room and caught her.
"Hey, hey, I'm here!.. Okay, why don't we go to the bedroom".
I helped her settle on the bed.
"Wow! You're tall". She mumbled and I laughed.
Nicky walk in our room and hands me a glass of water. "Here". She said.
"Oh, Thank you!". I said relieved.
I grab it from her and place it on the side table.
Alex, pry open her jeans and pull it down her legs. I helped her take off her jeans and she kicked them off her feet.
"Where have you guys been?". I asked Nicky. She was sitting on the corner of the bed.
"Something's going on with you two?". Nicky asked.
"Ummmm, everything's fine". I lied.
"Okay Piper, I'm not dumb, alright. I see things... And I didn't know she was at the bar drinking. I was at home when Arizona called me. She said Alex was drunk and she has no idea where you guys live so she called me. I came to pick her up and bring her home. Arizona won't tell me anything either. She said it's not her place to say anything. So you have to tell me what's going on. Are you two okay?".
"No, we are not okay, Nicky".
"Is this about the baby thing? Because you were acting very weird after that".
I looked at her. She is very perceptive or maybe I was really acting very weird that it was so obvious.
"I guess, I shouldn't be surprised" I sigh. "She wanted to have kids but I don't think I want to".
"Well if that's the case, I can't decide for you guys. You both need to talk about it. Like, very seriously talk about it, Piper.
Anyway, I'm tired, I'll see you in the morning. I will sleep in my room tonight if you don't mind... You sure you're okay here?".
"Yeah, I'll be okay".
But deep inside me I feel like I'm going to explode. I really hope this is something we can survive together.