Chereads / Love is Pain / Chapter 38 - Anxiety

Chapter 38 - Anxiety

A few weeks passed and I'm starting to get depressed and cranky. I cannot stay in this fucking depressing place anymore. I only feel minimal pain, infact I've been out of my pain meds for a week now. My ribs are healing satisfyingly good along with my leg.

I still need therapy for my injuries but the doctor said they're healing quite impressively.

Piper has been going back to work as well while I stay at the hospital with Nicky. I miss my wife constantly and I worry for her.

I continuously feel uneasiness and I can't seem to chill-out. I have difficulty focusing and thinking clearly. I am plagued by irrational fears and I always feel like something bad will going to happen. Sometimes I would feel this surge of overwhelming panic without any reason at all and feeling of losing control.

I tried to distract myself by thinking positively and by doing deep breathing exercises that I found on google which is pathetic.

I want to go home and staying in this place is contributing to my anxiety.

Nicky, as always is fun to be around with. But she always makes me laugh which sucks because it would hurt my ribs when I laugh too much.

It was mid in the afternoon when Dr. Shepherd came to my room. He checked all my latest scans and blood works.

"Hmmmm". He expressed.

Fuck! What is it this time? I hate the suspense and I'm already preparing my self for the worse.

"Well... it looks like everything is okay. Your scans are good and your blood work is clear, there is no infections. I guess we'll have to discharge you, there's no point in keeping you here". He said smiling

"No! Seriously?". I said shocked.

I was thinking they would want me to stay longer.

"When can I go home? Tomorrow?". I said hopeful.

"How about today? Sound good to you?". Dr. Shepherd replied.

"Awesome!" Nicky screamed.

"That's Great! I'll call my wife right now". I said excitedly.

Oh my God! I'm sure Piper, would flip and she'll be so happy that I'll be able to go home.

I grab my phone and call her.

"Hi babe, everything okay there?". She asked.

"Yeah, everything is okay.

Dr. Shepherd was just here".

"And? What did he say?". I can hear the anxiety in her voice.

"He said that I can go home today!". I shouted

I heard her squeal in delight and followed by something that dropped on the floor.

"Oh shit!". She cussed.

"What happened?". I asked alarmed.

"I spilled my drink. Fuck!".

I had to laugh.

"Okay... you wait for me and I'll be there. I just have to finish something". She said.

"Alright, but you have to come quick, babe. I can't stay here any longer". I begged.

"I won't... Yay! This is exciting! Okay I gotta go. I'll see you. Love you. Bye".

"I love you, bye". I hung up the phone.

"What did she say?" Nicky asked.

"She'll be here later, she has to finish something first. I cannot wait to be home". I told Nicky.

"Finally! The house is so quiet without you guys there and it's driving me crazy". Nicky complained.

******

Nicky, started cleaning and packing some of our stuffs.

"You want me to help you?". I said mischievously.

"Yes actually, maybe you could run and throw this garbage outside?" She picked up the trash bag and held it up.

"Oh wait, my bad" She said and did a facepalm.

"You can't, because you have a fucked up leg". She said sarcastically.

"You wait till I get better, Nichols. I'll kick you with this leg". I shot back.

"Yeah, whatever". She said and stick her tongue out to me and I laughed.

Piper, arrived and I was happy to see her. The downside to my accident is that I'm constantly anxious if I can't see my wife for a long period of time, especially the first time Piper decided she needs to go back to work. I never liked the idea of it at first about her leaving me here and I still don't like it until now. But I never voice out about it, I know she's stressed enough already and I don't want her to feel guilty for leaving me here.

I didn't tell my wife that I'm having these anxiety issues. The last thing I need is to see a shrink. I know my wife and I know she will go over board if she learns I'm having these issues so I just shut up and pretend like everything is alright with me.

"Okay, I just finished the paper work we'll just have to wait for the doctor to give us the final instructions and then we're good to go". Piper announced when she came back to my room.

"Oh, finally". I mumbled.

"Look at that you're a free woman again, Vause". Nicky chimed in.

I roll my eyes at Nicky, but she's right. I feel like a free woman again.

Dr. Shepherd gave us the instructions. I have to go back here every week for my checkup.

"When you feel tired or sleepy take a nap, It is a good idea to plan to take a nap everyday. Getting enough sleep will help you recover". Dr. Shepherd said.

"Try to walk each day. Start by walking a little more than you did the day before, bit by bit, increase the amount you walk and avoid heavy lifting".

"You can eat your normal diet but If your stomach is upset, try bland, low-fat foods like plain rice, broiled chicken, toast, and yogurt".

I heard a small scratch-like sound behind Dr. Shepherd so I crane my neck to look behind him. I can see my wife scribbling down everything the doctor is saying.

Oh sweet baby Jesus! Help me!

She's going to use that against me or she's probably going to rub that on my face everytime I don't do what the doctor says. Knowing Piper? She'll probably put that inside the frame and hang it on the wall.

"And lastly no strenuous activity". He said looking at me straight in the eyes and wink.

Shit! No! I know what he meant. That's one of the things I've been looking forward to once I get home. Fuck!

"What strenuous activity?". Piper blurted out.

I crane my neck one more time to look at her hoping to catch her eyes but she's still looking down at her notes like a diligent grade school student.

She is unbelievable.

Dr. Shepherd cleared his throat.

"Ummm..... Avoid having sex". He said uncomfortably.

"Sing it!". I blurted out.

"Avoid...Having...Sex". Piper mumbled aloud still writing down her notes.

Oh Jesus! I shook my head.

It took her a while to let the words sink in.

"Wait no sex?". She said dumbfounded.

I can see Nicky trying to stifle a laugh.

"Jesus Christ! Piper, seriously? you really have to say that aloud?". I said while throwing my head back. This is so embarrassing.

"What? I was surprised". She said defensively

"So... okay! That's about everything and I'll see you next week". Said Dr. Shepherd and he left briskly.

I also have to wear this stupid leg brace for another week. God! this is so annoying.

We were ready to go and a nurse came in pushing a wheelchair. My eyes bulge and my jaw dropped almost to the ground.

"No, no, no! I don't want to sit in that thing. I'd rather walk. Thank you very much". I said stubbornly.

"We'll take it from here. Thanks".

Nicky took the wheelchair from the nurse and push it toward me.

"Is that really necessary? I can walk". I begged.

"Seriously, Alex?". Nicky said and place her hands on her hips.

"With your current situation? We'll be lucky if we get home by midnight". Nicky said and fold her arms infront of her.

"Come on, babe. It's not that bad, you'll just have to sit here until we get to the car". Piper assured me.

I looked at her unbelieving. This is not happening and I don't want to sit in that fucking chair.

"Just sit the fuck down Vause, or I'll make you. I swear it won't be pleasant". Nicky threatened.

I got up and stand on my good foot. Nicky pushed the stupid chair behind me.

"It'll be fine, babe". Piper said and kissed the top of my head.

Nicky pushed the wheelchair out the door and a male nurse came rushing to help her.

"Oh great!". I mumbled under my breath.

I want the entire ground to swallow me right now.

He walk with us to the elevator up until the parking lot.

Nicky open the passenger door for me and that's when things started to get bad.

Suddenly everything in front of me disappear.

I can't see Nicky or the car anymore. At first, everything went black and my chest tightened. I feel like I'm being choked.

I don't understand what's happening and suddenly I can see the accident replaying in my head. The truck coming for me. How I felt when I was thrown out the windshield and how hard I hit my head. The feeling of my warm blood trickling down my face. The screaming, I can hear it loudly in my head and it's getting louder and louder. I can't see what's infront of me right now, I can't see my surroundings and I freaked out! I don't want to get in the car. The scene just keep repeating over and over.

I felt somebody hold both my arm and pulling me out the wheelchair.

"No, I don't want to... please...". I started to protest but they didn't seem to hear me. I grab the wheelchair not wanting to leave my seat. I don't want to get in the car. I was frozen and shaking. I was searching for Piper, but I can't see her.

"Ma'am can you stand?". Said the nurse politely. I can feel him trying to pull me up from the chair again.

"Please stop". I said softly. I can still see the image of my accident in front of my eyes.

I hold on to my seat but I was pulled strongly out my chair. I don't want this. I'm scared and I panicked.

"Stop!stop!stop!" I scream this time.