Alex's POV
"I might know someone who could be up for the job". I said beaming at Piper, and raising my eyebrows.
I have exactly the right person for that.
I figure I should maybe call her tonight infront of Piper.
I grab my phone from my bag and look for Miranda's number. She was the one who planned for Piper's birthday and my "supposed" to be proposal but unfortunately never happened.
I hope this is still an appropriate time to make a call.
I found her number and call her.
"Who are you calling?". Piper asked wondering.
I held up my finger to silence her.
Miranda, answered on the second ring.
"Hello, Miss Vause?"
"Hi Miranda, oh please just call me, Alex. Is this a bad time to talk?". I said while keeping my eyes fixed on my wife.
Piper's eyebrows scrunch together and I almost laugh at her reaction.
"No, no not at all. I'm still in the office anyway".
"Perfect! I was just going to ask if you can be our wedding planner?".
"Oh yes! Absolutely! I would be honored". She said every enthusiastic.
"When are you planning to have your wedding?". She inquire.
"Umm actually, Me and my wife haven't really talked about it yet but I will let you know when we have the final date and maybe we can talk in person?".
"That would be awesome. Just give me a call anytime".
"I will, thank you, Miranda".
"You're welcome Alex, have a nice evening".
"You too, goodbye".
I stare at my wife and smiled at her.
"There, done!". I said proudly.
She shook her head and gave me a smirk.
"I think I shouldn't be surprised how you always get your way easily". She said jokingly.
"I told you, I may be a sick lesbian but I have a couple tricks up my sleeves". I teased.
I wasn't expecting this day to be so awesome. I thought me and Piper are just going to have a casual dinner date. I appreciate her effort to surprise me.
I feel like everything is back to normal. I never felt this good after my accident and I was not anxious the whole time, even the car ride is not so scary anymore.
We spend the rest of our evening making plans for our wedding. I'm kind of excited and worried at the same time. Like, finally we are doing this and it's going to happen and I want everything to be perfect. Me and Piper deserved it.
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We decided to go home at half past 9. We weren't rushing to go home but the restaurant will be closing soon. We made our way to the back of the restaurant where Piper parked the car when I heard a loud blaring sound coming from a car horn and it wouldn't stop. It reminded me of my accident.
I was startled and I started to panic. My eyes automatically scanned for the sound and it came from an old car just a few feet away from us.
"What the hell?". I heard Piper say and she went on to let go of my hand to cover her ears.
I'm starting to feel beads of cold sweat coming out of my body and I froze, my pulse quickened. I'm about to have a panic attack and now I am aware of it. This is how I exactly felt the last time. I was trying to remember what my Therapist said about how to calm myself from this kind of situation but I couldn't think, my mind is cloudy and I couldn't think straight.
I dropped the bouquet of flowers that I was holding and I cover my ears with my hands but it's not helping.
"Alex, are you okay?".
Piper asked, her voice on full alert and she holds my face in her hands.
I then notice a couple came rushing out of the car.
"Oh, Charlie! Again? I told you to bring this stupid car to the mechanic!". Said the woman shouting over the blaring noise.
"I know how to fix this! we don't need a mechanic!". Said the guy annoyed and opened the hood of their car.
"Alex? babe, look at me. Just focus on me please". Piper is trying to get my attention. I can see her face full of concern and I hate to see her like that.
I'm beginning to see the accident right in front of me. It feels like I was sucked back to that traumatic day and I'm trapped.
I can't seem to get out.
I feel like my chest is about to explode, I'm breathing rapidly and I'm hyperventilating.
"No! Not again. Please make it stop". I groaned.
I can't take it anymore and I just fall to the ground. My glasses fell from my face and I sat on the pavement and wrap my arms around my legs trying to hold myself together. I shut my eyes tightly and rock myself. I felt my own tears roll down my face.
"Can someone please turn that stupid thing off!". Piper shouted over the couple.
I felt Piper kneel in front of me and rub my arms. She was calm the whole time and that helped me to calm down a little.
"Alex, Just focus on me okay? Deep breaths, love... Take a deep breath". She said calmly.
The images keep flashing in front of me and I can't focus on Piper. I'm searching for her face to help me calm down.
Fuck!". She yelled in frustration probably at the loud noise.
Then the blaring sound stopped instantly.
"Oh, finally!". Piper muttered under her breath.
"I'm so sorry!" Said the woman.
"Is she okay?". I can hear her footsteps coming closer to us.
"No she's not, but we're good thank you. Just don't come closer". Piper said impatiently to the woman.
I keep hugging my legs and rocking my self and it seems to help a little bit.
"Keep breathing". Piper reminded me and she never left my side. She waited for me to completely calm down before she speak again.
"Alex, do you want to go in the car?". She asked and I just nod my head.
"Okay, hold on to me". Piper pulled me up and I force myself to stand up and move my feet.
She open the passenger door and helped me get it. I was still shaking.
Piper's POV
I tried to stay calm the entire time and it wasn't easy.
I helped Alex get in the car and I put on her seatbelt. She jumped a little when the seat belt snap.
"I'm sorry". I murmured. She's staring down at her white, trembling hands.
"I'm going to close the door, okay?". I let her know so she won't get startled again.
I close her door and walk to the driver seat. I can hear the couple arguing in the distance. The woman saw me and shouted.
"We're really sorry!". The woman said again.
"Fix your car!". I snapped at them.
"Stupid fucking people". I murmured to myself.
I slide in the driver seat and face Alex. She's looking straight ahead. She was so pale that she seemed to shine in the darkness. Her black long hair streaming down her back and I tucked a stray of lock hair away from her face.
"Hey, you're fine. I'm here". I reach for her hands and hold them tightly.
"I was happy for like, five minutes... Five fucking minutes, Piper".
Alex started to say and her voice quivering.
"I feel like the universe is just smacking me down for being happy". She move her head gently to look at me and I notice some tears escaping her eyes once more.
My heart clenches for her.
"I have always felt so in control. But now? I can't even control my emotions anymore. I can't control how I react... Piper, I froze again. I felt like I was going to die right there". She whispered through a fresh batch of tears.
I hate seeing Alex like this. She look so helpless and I can't do anything to make her feel better.
"I can't do this anymore". She said as tears streaming down her face.
I lean closer and embrace her.
"You can do this, Alex. You are stronger than you think. Don't give up for me, okay? I still need you, Al". I said as I try holding my own tears.
"I'm sorry I just wanna be happy... with you". She said in between sobs.
"I know love, I know". I said and I pull away from her to wipe her tears from her beautiful face.
"You're doing great and you're fine".
"I feel like suddenly my world is out of control and everything doesn't make sense anymore.
I'm usually equipped in fixing things with myself, and It's hard to accept that there are things out of my control". She cried.
I grab both of her arms and hold her gaze.
"Alex, I want you to listen to me. You don't need to do things alone anymore. It's okay if you're not okay, I will always be here for you no matter what. You can always tell me anything".
She sniff and wipe her eyes.
"I was having these anxiety issues even before my episode at the parking lot and I didn't want to tell you, I don't want you to worry. I know you're stressed already from me and work. I thought I could get through it". She mumbled.
I didn't know she was having anxiety issues before at the hospital. I wasn't aware and I blame myself for it. If I had known I could've done something and probably it won't get worst.
"I'm sorry for not creating an environment where you felt like you could talk about this with me. All these time we have spent together, the countless nights talking and sharing. Now I realize that they were all about me and my secrets. There's never been room for you, and that's my fault. And I'm sorry".
"You didn't do anything wrong". She argued. As always, she was still trying to protect me and accept all the blame.
"I know... I know that this is not the same at all, but I do understand how it feels like to keep a part of yourself shut off, to keep it inside, and I know how lonely that can make you feel, but Alex, you are not alone". I reminded her.
"I can't do this without you". Alex shuddered.
"No, you don't have to".
"Don't ever leave. Promise me right now Piper, that you won't leave me". She cried.
"I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise". I replied and pull her to me. I embrace her and some of the tears I've been holding off escaped from my eyes.