Arriving at Bav's, I could feel something was amiss in the house. I hurried up the stairs to our room where Bav would normally work at the desk. I walked in to find Bav with his head in his hands, clutching his dark hair that weaved through his fingers like black liquid. His face rose hearing the door close as I shut it and I hurried to him in concern.
"Bav? What is the matter? Has something happened?" I ask falling to my knees by his side. I see his eyes have rimmed with red and his eyes were bloodshot.
Has he been crying?
He looks at me with so much pain in his eyes that even my heart squeezed in pain witnessing him suffering.
"Bav, my love. What has brought you to this state?" I implore him, placing my hands over his.
"I have to tell you something, Rakara." He takes my hands up and caresses his cheek, relishing my touch but his brows still furrow as in pain.
"Did something happen? Is your mother alright?" I inquire of the first thing that could have possibly brought him to this state.
Shaking his head, he takes a deep shaky breath and in a weak and breaking voice. "No, but she is the reason I am this way. She needs me to go to Earth."
I pause, wide eyed and confused. "If she needs you, so be it. Why are you so upset?"
He barely gasps out, "She doesn't know how long I will be gone. I could be gone years for you and decades for me."
I fall back, now unable to support myself. "What?! Bav? You'll be able to come visit me at least right?" If he is behaving like this...
"No. I won't. I can't risk bringing you with me either."
My heart stops and my vision starts to go black as I stare frozen at him.
'He is leaving me, is this it? Are we over?'
"Rakara! Breathe!"
My vision comes back as I'm being shaken. I regain focus and Bav looks terrified as I gasp and gulp air to feed my body.
"No... No... Bav.. You're leaving me?" I start to deny but only end up in tears as I cover my face.
"Rakara no... I love you. Please believe me, my love, I am doing this because I have no choice. The Erlking plans on annihilating the population of Earth and enslaving who ever is left. I must help my mothers plans to ensure that the people of Earth have a fighting chance." He runs a shaking hand down the side of my tear stained face, desperation in his eyes to prove his sincerity.
"I can not promise when I will be back, but as long as I am still alive when it's over there on Earth, I promise I will come back for you. You are the only woman I will ever love, Kara. I will come back as long as you love me, as long as you want me, I will come back."
"You just don't know when? Our wedding is in a month! What should I tell everyone, especially if you don't come back for years?" I stop myself and realize I don't care about any of that and continue, "Never mind what I just said. How am I supposed to live without you here with me?" I break down, my heart feels as if it's ripped asunder from my chest leaving a dark, massive, black hole, that weeps tears of agony.
This can't be happening, I'm having a nightmare. I need to wake up.
I pinch myself and with the pain in my arm, I start to panic. This is not a nightmare, I am awake and this is my hellish reality.
"No, Bav...." I cling on to him holding him tightly. "Please don't leave me." We're both crying holding on to one another.
After a while we are calmer than before but still heartbroken, holding one another.
"When must you go?" I sniffle.
"I have a little over a week, to set everything up for you and make it to where you are taken care of without me here, until I come back. I have to ask you though, if you don't mind getting married on paper, that way you have the protection of my estate here and my wealth to take care of you?"
I shake my head, still feeling lost and in anguish over the situation. "I don't mind." I croak out.
Bav takes my hand in his, comforting me with his presence. "I know this is not the plans that we had set in motion, and it pains me not to give you what you deserve, but I will make this up to you."
I sigh heavily, "Bav none of that matters, not really. I just don't want you to leave knowing I may never see you again and would never know what happened if you don't come back." Tears roll silently down my face as my heart twists in pain.
Bav looks away from me and closes his eyes, clenching them closed as he tells me, "I know this is not fair to you, that's why..." His voice breaks, causing him to take a breath before continuing. "That is why, if you feel that you can not continue to wait and find someone who makes you happy and treats you well... I would never hold it against you and let you be happy. I do not expect you to be lonely the rest of your life if something was to happen to me."
Is he is actually saying that I could move on after him? That I would even want to?!
My lips thin in annoyance, and I smack his hand from my other one. "How dare you..." I hiss at him.
"Rakara, please I didn't mean it like that...." Bav rushes to tell me.
"Then how did you mean it?" I spit out.
"Rakara, please remember, a month here, is a year there. If it's five years later here, that would make it sixty years there, if it's been ten years for you, it would be over a hundred years for me. If I am not back in ten years for you, the only reason would be because I died. I don't want you to be waiting for the rest of your life, just in case I don't make it back. It would not be fair to you."
Looking at my still displeased scowl he adds on, "Now, just because I said I would not hold it against you doesn't mean I want you to find someone else. The selfish part of me is demanding you wait until I return, because I will. It is that part of me that knows the reality of war and knows there is always a chance that I may not make it back that tells you to find happiness with another. I will be doing everything within my power to make sure I come back to you my love. Do you doubt my love for you that if I am alive, I would not come back the second I could?"
"You were implying that you would not be coming back though by putting it in such a manner. How could I think differently? What hurts is that you actually believe that I would be capable of loving someone else. No one will ever be able to replace you Bav." I cross my arms avoiding his gaze, knowing I am acting like a child in doing so, but I could not help myself. It hurt for him to tell me that.
"Rakara... " Is all Bav says, before sweeping me up into his arms and nuzzles against my chest and neck. "I love you. Let us not be upset with each other, not when we have so little time to spend together before I have to leave. Please?" I turn my head to face him and place my arms around his shoulders.
"I'm sorry Bav, but this is a taxing situation to endure. Although I should not complain, for like you said one month here is a year there, my time without you will be but a mere short while. Oh ... " I hold him, pressing my forehead to his.
I will suffer without him, but not for nearly as long as he will have to suffer without me.
I feel him walking me over to set me on the bed, before he is kneeling before me, a forlorn look on his face reminding me a of a sad puppy.
"I will make this up to you, I promise Rakara." He says solemnly, before he reaches forward and captures my lips with his. Kissing me sweetly and deeply, dominating my lips, he pushes me back onto the bed.
My heart started to palpitate as I watched him pull himself back from my lips.
"I will hold you to that promise then." I inform him, salivating as I watch him take his shirt off exposing his gorgeous chest.
I should start making some more memories with him while I can,... starting right now.